My girlfriend just miscarried at 23 weeks and 4 days and the dr. sent her home to pass the baby at home without a D&C. does this sound right? She had no bleeding and the only symptom was she had a little cramping once or twice a day for 2 days. I just can't believe the dr. would just send her home! Does this sound strange too anyone? I thought the baby was too from along.

Double G, My concern is did your girlfriend pass the baby and empty out the contents of her uterus yet? Did she pass the baby at home, and then you went to the doctor, is this why the doctor thinks she has had a spontaneous miscarriage? If any of these things are not true, and she has not passed all the contents of her uterus, she can get a serious infection to develop in her uterus, because that is now dying tissue, that can grow bacteria, and needs to slough off, like a wound that needs to be cleaned, so infection doesn't develop. If she is running a fever, or has an odorous colored discharge or having pelvic internal serious cramping pain, or sick, or starts passing large old clots, with fresh new blood or some pus, I would find a gynecologist that can check her over, that you trust. Miscarriage happens frequently and have since the beginning of time, but you have still lost a baby, and there is that loss, that grief, that only you and your girlfriend can know, for it is yours, you own it. Don't let people get you down. Some people have no idea what you are experiencing now. Also did they teach her to massage her uterus in her pelvic area to help express the old contents and is her pelvic area, uterus returning back to its original size? Her uterus should be softening, not feel very hard or greatly tender to touch right above her bladder or pelvic bone in her lower abdomen.

This does not sound right. Has she actually passed the baby? I lost my first daughter at 22 weeks and trust me its not an easy thing to do, I went through two days of labour! Full on labour, it was horrendous. It all sounds very strange and I would certainly ask for a second opinion.

This sounds too strange. At 23 weeks the baby would be aprox. 8 inches long, and would look like a fully formed baby. It isn't just some cluster of cells that will pass in a blood clot. Has all movement stopped? I would see another OBGYN as soon as possible and have a second opinion. I would ask them to verify that she indeed did miscarry, and then make sure she gets her uterine cavity emptied. She may have to actually deliver the child. Im so sorry for your loss, and hope that there is better luck in the future.

What makes the dr think that she miscarried in the first place?

Probably no heartbeat Myth.

What makes the dr think that she miscarried in the first place?


The doctor told us that there was not a heartbeat. My girlfriend still has not passed anything. Not even a drop of blood. She complains about some minor cramping pains but nothing that really worry about because it only happens about twice a day. Now she is getn upset with me for the smallest things. I don't know what to do because she doesn't want a second opinion because the dr. told us it would take about 4 days to pass completely. Im confuse about everything!

She needs a second opinion. Sometimes labor does not start on it's own and she will need to be induced at this late stage. If of course a D&C is out of the question.

A fetus that dies in utero after 20 weeks point is said to be stillborn. Did he say if the baby had stopped growing a an early point in the pregnancy? Unless the baby has stopped growing she should never be aloud to pass the baby at home. There are too many medical risks.

A fetus that dies in utero after 20 weeks point is said to be stillborn. Did he say if the baby had stopped growing a an early point in the pregnancy? Unless the baby has stopped growing she should never be aloud to pass the baby at home. There are too many medical risks.
At this point I don't know what to think! I'm so tired I can't even think straight. Now I'm just worried about my girlfriends health. She has be acting very strange. Yet she has not passed a drop of blood. I'm confused. The dr won't give me any information about what's going on because she needs to sign some form that releases or allows me to ask the dr questions about her problems.

I'm sorry about your loss. However, I agree with you that things really are not adding up. Based only on the information you are giving me I would tell you to take her to the ER or to another doctor ASAP. She needs to pass the baby (in a hospital) and I assume within a few days.

I would definitely go to a hospital or another DR ASAP. Babies can be born premies at 24 weeks and live and your girlfriend is way past the miscarrying stage, if anything the baby died in utero and she would have to actually give birth to the baby since it is a fully formed baby. (((hugs))) to her.

I'm sorry about your loss. However, I agree with you that things really are not adding up. Based only on the information you are giving me I would tell you to take her to the ER or to another doctor ASAP. She needs to pass the baby (in a hospital) and I assume within a few days.


Its been 5 days since the dr told us that the baby didn't have a heart beat. But yet my girl friend has yet to pass a drop of blood. Seems like she has more energy now than she knows what to do with. She has been riding her stationary bike over 40 miles a day since. I don't know what the heck is going on. I'm starting to believe that there is more to this that she or they are telling me. Last night our kids and I stayed with her just in case something happen. She sleep through the night without any problems, never got up once and never had any pain. I don't know what to think and more. Could this all be stress related and doesn't anyone think there is a chance she is making all this up just for extra attention? I know this sounds mean but I have to know just for some peace of mind. She will not show any pictures of the ultra sound or talk about this matter to anyone at all. I'm starting to believe that she has some kind of mental issue going on. Someone please help me understand stand what's going on because I'm losing the mother of my 2 kids and the one girl I love more then anything.

She won't necessarily go into labour on her own. No dr should have sent her home, my advice get her back to hospital. Losing a baby at this stage is childbirth, she will more than likely go through labour and needs to be in hospital. People can carry babies dead inside them for a long time without going into labour, sounds like she needs to be induced. She will be depressed and acting strange, being told your baby has died, or is going to die is the most heartbreaking thing you can go through. My first daughter died 6 years ago and I will never forget being in the hospital and them telling me, while I was in labour, that my child was not going to make it. It messes up your head, and you do go into denial. I was convinced that if I didn't give birth to my daughter she wouldn't die so I refused to push and kept my legs pressed tightly together even though it as agony. You do strange things. You need to take her back to hospital, make them re scan and if the baby has indeed died she needs to be induced. Don't let them fob you off.

Make an aptmnt with another doc this time go in with her

Now she won't let me get close to her but yet she wants me to be in her house with her. She acts like nothings wrong and this confuses me. She works out every day without any problems. She doesn't complain of any pain. I do notice that she can't stop telling lies. She is lying about everything. She has scared off her closes friends by lying to them. Its one lie after another. What's going on? I am dazed and confused now!

make an aptmnt with another doc this time go in with her

She doesn't want me to go with her to any appointments and is not telling anything more about what's going on. Has she flipped her lid? I'm really starting to believe that she isn't really pregnant. I think she is getting all the information about having a baby from her sister in law that is due a week after her. That's sounds funny but true. I think she noticed all the attention that her sister in law was gettin' and wanted the same. I think she is really sick! The ultra sound that she has could have easily been here sister in laws. That why when I went to the hospital last week the hospital had no record of her being there. She called me at 8:15am telling me she was on the way to the hospital because she lose the baby she thought. I live 15 minutes away and the time it took me to get there 9:00am she was gone from the hospital and at home in bed already. STRANGE RIGHT?

Very strange. Have you not been to any hospital appointments with her at all? It sounds like a strange question but does she have a bump? Even just a small one?

Very strange. Have you not been to any hospital appointments with her at all? It sounds like a strange question but does she have a bump? Even just a small one?

SHE HAS A BUMP BUT NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE SIZE OF WHAT SHE HAD WITH OUR OTHER KIDS AT THIS STAGE. BEFORE AT 3 MONTHS SHE LOOKED 6-7 MONTHS. NOW SHE IS 24-25 WEEKS AND BARELY LOOKS PREGNANT IF SHE IS. When she gave birth to our other 2 children she delivered 9 weeks early and 7 weeks early and she was HUGE! This time her family and friend haven't even noticed. She hasn't told anyone either just me and her best friend that doesn't believe her because she won't show her any proof.

I think your girlfriend is having a "mental situation" and needs help sooner than later. Tell her you are very concerned that if she does not "pass" the baby soon she can get a serious infection and take her to the emergency room pronto. Then let hospital staff know what is going on and let them handle the situation. Perhaps a 72 hour "observation should be done" I would let hospital know before your arrival what you believe is going on.

I agree with dn mommy. I would take her to the hospital with or without her co operation. If she really won't go I would call out someone to see her. I agree somehting really doesn't seem right, and I would tell the dr/hospital staff you are concerned if she actually is pregnant or is going through some kind of episode.

I miscarried at 12 weeks and the er sent me home and I had to go back because I had lost too much blood and my doc told me I should never have left. Also I work in a mental health clinic and this sounds a little odd. I would take her to the er as soon as possible its for her mental well being as well as you and your kids.

My girlfriend just miscarried at 23 weeks and 4 days and the dr. sent her home to pass the baby at home without a D&C. does this sound right? She had no bleeding and the only symptom was she had a little cramping once or twice a day for 2 days. i just can't believe the dr. would just send her home! does this sound strange too anyone? i thought the baby was too from along.
That is nuts. Either your friend is on drugs or the doctor is. I delivered a baby at 20 weeks. He was not alive, but he was fully formed and we held him. There is no way this is OK.

Makes no sense she needs to be seen. I had a stillborn at 23 weeks and the baby actually hasto be delivered.theres no way around it.its about the size of a pound of cheese you can't just pass that at home and I was kept in hospital until next day. Please convince her to see someone else.that can kill her if it goes untreated.best wishes!

I think you have the right idea about her lying.

I lost a baby at 19 weeks and
It required hospital stay (among other things).

At 23 weeks a D&C is not possible and
You don't just simply pass and discard a developed dead baby at home.

I think you have the right idea about her lying.

I lost a baby at 19 weeks and
it required hospital stay (among other things).

At 23 weeks a D&C is not possible and
you don't just simply pass and discard a developed dead baby at home.


I agree, I think there is something wrong with your girlfriend mentaly and especially if she has a habit of lying... I just hope it all works out for you

I agree, I think there is something wrong with your girlfriend mentaly and especially if she has a habit of lying..... I just hope it all works out for you

Thank you so much for your answer!

Let us know when you find anything out!

That is crap I hate Drs ever since I had a miscarriage with my son at 25.6 weeks. The nurse was going to send me to Brisbane hospital but the DR came in and said don't bother. She left him inside of me with no water inside over night. Every contraction I got squished his lungs. When I first arrived his heartbeat was perfect I had to give birth to him for 12h all to have him to take his last breaths in my arms.

Are you for 100% she was really pregnant? No to make it seem like she would makes such a thing up but none of this sounds right at all.