OK where do I start

I'm 14 yrs old. I'm a average kid and I love sports a lot and some video games. My home life is pretty good. I have both parents and siblings. I live in a normal house with a pool so I do have fun. Now here is the problem. School. I can't take it. I failed the regents with a 60 and my parents are putting so much pressure on me. I have to retake the test sometime this summer. If I pass I move on to earth sience or living environment. I want to succeed. I want to have a family when I'm older. I want to have kids. I want to raise them and have them be very happy. I want a good job. I want all of this. I do my homework most of the time. I mean it gets hard but I still do it. My best friend which is the one I'm the realest with lives right next to me. He is barely home anymore because of work he has to do with his parents at his restaurant. So the fun lessened down a lot. I have other friends but still. I like girls I'm not gay or anything like that. Back to the regents. If I fail it I will be left back. No one in my family ever got left back. All of them were smart and nice. I barely study. I act like I study but I don't. I know I should and I know that it's the only way. But my parents didn't raise me the right way when I was little. They think making me a cool kid when I'm little like teaching me the middle finger and all that and letting me get away with things and not making me read or be a smart kid when I was little wouldn't pay off. Because of that I'm lazy about school. If I fail the regents I might want to kill myself. I'm sorry. I know you people are probably going to say study its not a big deal just do it. Or go to a learning thing. But I know I won't do that so help. I know god put us on this earth for a reason. I know all that. I am christian. Everyday I think of how to kill myself but I'm to scared to. I don't want to go to hell. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to explode. HELP thanks so much if any help in advance

I think you need to see a couselor. Being able to feel free to get all your feeling out in the open plus will help you sort out different options you have on how to deal with different situations better. Life is precious and is worth more then anything else. No test, no paper, no money and I could go on. It is about loving one another. Taking care of each other and living your life for other people. That is what love and life is about. Hope that this helps.


Joe

I know people will probably think wow this is a lot of writing forget it I'm not reading this but what you guys say to help me could save my life. So please help. This is my only way. Make it happen. Thanks

OK I kow how it feels to feel like, why is life like this lord why did you put me on this earth just kill me. I know how it is... but heyy I got through it I just tried not to think bad thoughts or suicide so yes a psychologist could help, you coul;d spill your guts and no one will know but you and the psychologist good luck and the test and keep your head high :D

Make it happen, Okay. You need to make it happen on your own. It needs to be you that decides to go to counceling, it is your decision to seek out medical intervention. I read your whole post, but to be quite honest what you described is daily living for everybody. Especially at the age of 14. So demanding to anybody to make it happen will not help you further. You need to make it happen for yourself.

You imply your parents weren't much good. You've gotten this far. Did you do that or maybe something they said or did help?
Nice house with a pool, you said. They're doing OK, huh? Just givin' you bad advise?
Maybe they see you could do better if driven a little. They still love you, I'd hope!
You can find out a lot about your future by looking at what inspires you. What makes you happy. Can I find that job? Doing what others want just to satisfy them is going to bring you sorrow.

You have to find your own center. Keep those people in your heart as you move forward and they will matter more the further you go.

I read this somewhere: "When I was fourteen, my father was a fool. After I turned twenty-one, I found myself amazed how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Is there a psychologist online? Someone I can talk to that I don't have to actually visit

Hello. What I did when I was going through very similar times was that I left it all to Jesus. He knows what to do, he will help you... you just really got to tell him very honestly what you feel but not being demanding. My goodness it really helped me. After a while of praying to him to just kill me already.. instead, the next thing I knew was that everything started falling into place. Be convicted about your goals with yourself and with Jesus... if you help yourself, he will also help you. After that I was ashamed I ever told him to kill me... just imagine how much pain is causing him to know that you don't appreciate the life he gave you. He doesn't like to see us suffer, therefore if you really believe he can help you he will.
You might even see results like right away. Meanwhile do a little research on your own to see if you can find a psychologist online if that's what you really want.

I'm going to start praying more often. I'm always praying for other people and other things. Its time to start praying for myself though I will not for get the rest and my family

God Bless you all

I think that what you are going through happens to a lot of people your age. It did for me when I was 14. I would go see a counselor because it might help to get everything out in the open and off your chest. Is their someone at your school such as this that you can talk to? Please believe in yourself, and give it your best when it comes to school. I know it gets hard, and that sometimes you just want to give up, but don't. You've made it this far and everything you do and go through will make you that much more stronger emotionally.