Hi,

After reading soe of your other posts and seeing the very helpful answers I thought id hit you with my prob.

I have been seeing this girl that I meet at a local bar (7 weeks ago), she is friends of one of my brothers friends. She is back in the local area from uni, she has recently split from a 2 year boyfriend who was apparently an A-Hole to her.

We hit it off pretty much imediatley and we see each other quite a bit. The first weekend she came over and stayed the night and we 'did all that'. I see her in the week sometimes but mostly at weekends where once I took her for a lovely/expensive meal, I knoe she really enjoyed that.

I spent 2 weeks away on holiday she said she really missed me, I got her a little bracelet whilst I was away and she seemed to really appreciate that.

Anyway I saw her yesterday and she told me she might be going to town with this guy I know. She met him at the pub where I met here, now this guy IS 20 years older than us so I didn't see it as a problem, I just found it a bit weird that she'd taken an interest. She also goes out with him for drinks after work because he's close to her work.

So basically I just commented on it, I was like "seems weired he's taken such an interest" straight away I could see id got her back up about it. She was on the defence straight away. Now I understand I'm in no position to even comment, so I suppose I shouldn't have but it'd been on my mind so I wanted to say something. Now that we'd talked about it I really don't mind anymore.

Its just so strange that she got angry that id questioned it, I know were not exclusive but why can't we talk about like that?

Anyway, I think she's still pissed off with me, I saw her late last night we kissed and I think we were moderatley OK. Im going to lay off all this week, she already told me she can't see me till Friday so I'm going to lay right back and let her call this one.

I said I'd take her out on Friday night to dinner, that was because she commented last night how she enjoyed it the last time we went out.

Hay I think I'll be OK. I just like to get others opinions.

I personally think her ex BF was well protective every time she saw another guy and doesn't wasn't that again which is ridiculous couse I wouldn't get like that.

Hi,
Most of the replies here are just plain ole common sense, from those of us who have had many past experiences.
If something you say to this girl upsets her, there is a reason. It's probably not you who upset her, but something else that has happened. Many of us have things we don't want to talk about or hear about.
Just be careful about this particular subject, and don't mention it again.
If she gets comfortable with you, I am sure she will share with you what happened in the past; and I am sure something did happen, cause what you said should not have upset her.
One never knows sometimes what to say or what not to say... wait until you are married! Then, you begin to learn the "ropes"...
Best of luck, hang in there, and show her a lot of respect, as I'm sure you are doing.
Happy 4th,
fredg

I defintely believe she is seeing the older dude - OR, meaning he is trying to see her.

You need to learn to be less of a nice guy - woman ACTUALLY don'r like it when you keep buying them dinners and gifts - you use these sparingly. She dated the a-hole for 2 years because he was exciting - he made her feel - he was a jerk and a challenge. You've been WAY too nice to her - way too available.

I would defintely not call her for a while - pull back - get a life. Make her call you.

Sounds like you are putting too much stock in this gal too soon. You are no longer a challenge for her - hnce the new dude.

PLEASE learn about 'Nice Guys' - www.relationships.blog-city.com

www.askmen.com - read EVERY dating article!

www.sosuave.com - every article!!

See - you lowered her interest level by being too nice, buying her things, being too agreeable, too available, sounds like you were an -kisser,

I HOPE you did not tell her how you fee about her?

You need to learn how attraction works - woman don't think like men at all. WE thinking being all nice and doing nice things is what they want - NO! They want excitement - she will go back to the bad boy because he makes her 'feel'. Woman 'feel'!! No logic.

Doing all this nice crap gives up all your power and woman HATE THAT!

Learn to just hang out - tease her - make fun of her - show her you are in control. This is what the other guys do - espcially the older dude.

Don't call or take her out Friday.

Well I think I agree with wildcat when he says that he may be trying to get with her... not sure if its working the other way around... could also be that she is just using him for what he is doing for her... ive been there done that.. talked to someone I really liked but then there was that other guy I could never stand but he always took me out and spent money on me or gave me money and I always kept him around for what he could give me not because I was into him... sounds bad.. but I'm not like that anymore... but 7 weeks is not that long to be all over this girl... take the advice you were given and back off a bit..

I don't agree personally with the fact that she likes the older guy, I really don't. But there may be some truth so I will bear that in mind. I'm laying back all this week, no contact. As I said to her we'd go out to dinner I will probably do that. I can't see myself canceling on her, from my POV that would kill any chance I have as she'd be mad. It illogical, and I know your saying women don't opperate on logic, but I'm working on impulse here.

You think you are calling the shots buddy well your wrong the woman calls the shots,and don't forget it. Now let me tell you this woman you are seeing has been around the horn and back don't waste your time ,on this one find a better woman for your own happiness. Any one that just hops in the sack and than, acts like it was nothing shows me that you are not able to satisfy her,you can not conquer her so , forget about it stay away from trouble go to church and make friends with decent women rather then going and meeting them in a meat market cause,that's all a bar is.come on buddy this is a bar tramp I bet she has a couple of kids too and most likely,on welfare.my advice is don't get envolved with this bar fly

She doesn't have to like him to be using him ALWAYS remember that... no woman has to have any interest in a guy to use him... no one said cancel but you need to back off a bit and see where her mind is really at... because though you may think that she doesn't like this older guy that you don't WANT her to be into the other guy its not that she isn't... but really you need to evaluate the situation and see is it really worth it...

you think you are calling the shots buddy well your wrong the woman calls the shots,and dont forget it. now let me tell you this woman you are seeing has been around the horn and back dont waste your time ,on this one find a better woman for your own happiness. any one that just hops in the sack and than, acts like it was nothing shows me that you are not able to satisfy her,you can not conquer her so , forget about it stay away from trouble go to church and make friends with decent women rather then going and meeting them in a meat market cause,thats all a bar is.come on buddy this is a bar tramp i bet she has a couple of kids too and most likely,on welfare.my advice is dont get envolved with this bar fly

Thanks for your opinion on someone you've never met or seen. She's a well bought up girl with a wealthy family I've met them, she's no "trash" I'm in the UK by the way. Gees, I'm starting to doubt anything you guys are saying is worth taking in.

No you have to pay him no mind he's a fool and doesn't know how to act..

Mike is wrong to say that. He's bitter about something and assumes every woman is on wealfare and will use you.

"I can't see myself canceling on her, from my POV that would kill any chance i have as she'd be mad." - see it's OK to make woman mad - it's OK to say No.

I'd wait until I herd from her - woman should chase you. Less is more. You can see if she is really into to you or not.

She's a massive Wench to tell you about the other guy.

I agree wildcat, she got 4 days. I think she'll call.

I'll keep u posted

No no, it was well out in the open I know the old guy quite well, he drinks with me regularly at this bar. I know he recently became single though. I think he likes to surround himself with friends now.

You know after reading your post for the second time. I did it because of your crying the blue's ,anyway I come to the conclusion you're a slime ball I don't know what it is where your from but you describe your actions with her and about her as if you are planning to sexualy attack her because of her weakness as a woman in this area it may be natural to animals but ,we are not animals.you brag about your sexaul conquest this is what you said The first weekend she came over and stayed the night and we 'did all that'. I see her in the week sometimes but mostly at weekends where once I took her for a lovely/expensive meal, I knoe she really enjoyed that.__ yes ladies and gentlemen this is what this slime ball does he hunts women to explot there natural tendencies,to be attracted for sexual purposes.although when the table is turned and this young great lover becomes jealous of an older man, over 20 years older, escorting his young piece around he is intimedated and infureated why is he afraid to admitt to himself that the older man has sexualy satisfied her what an ego crush

Shut up mike, don't they have a Sci-Fi section u can post in?

That's enopugh Mike - you've gotten enough of jolly's out of this - Mike makes up about 15 things on each post he knows nothing about.

I just called her OMG what a nutter :p

Im sorry it was doing my nut in.

Her phones been barred for not paying the bill, wouldn't be the first time I remember when I met her she had her phone barred. And before you give me about her lying she wasn't the first time so I doubt it a second time.

Calling her back in 2Hrs, she was at dinner with gf's

Try to forgive Mike, he has no idea who his father is and his herpes sores are acting up again. Poor Mike, maybe your internet friends will help you through this since real life friends are so hard to come by for you.

WHY ARE YOU CALLING HER?

That's really needy. I would have waited a month.

Omg lmaoooooooooo.. its about time some people starting noticing how bad his advice is... he says he gets fanmail but I don't see how anyone would send him ANYTHING with the advice he gives

omg lmaoooooooooo..its about time some ppl starting noticing how bad his advice is...he says he gets fanmail but i dont see how anyone would send him ANYTHING with the advice he gives

You'd better get used to trolls. More on that here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

Troll oh snap... lmaoooo rofl I nearly fell out of my seat at work laughing at these posts.. omg I can't with you people... I got to get out of here.. lol

Internet Troll - perfect - that's Mike.

A guy who tries to get his jollys out on other peoples expense.

Hehehehehe... but he swears that he is a big help and DEMANDS respect.. lol

Just spoke to her again.

As I'm in this situation, I know it best. I know your advising but I'm taking your advice and ading it to my ideas.

I called her chatted about how busy id been this week and how busy I am going to be this week. Got her laughing about a few things, spoke for about 15mins. Once after I had her laughing again I said I must go as go work to get done and I said bye.

I think she'll be back ;)

I don't know dude. Seems kinds like Wuss behavior. You keep calling her -stop that. Ughhhhhhhh woma ndon't want you to contact them 5 times a day.

No man, I called first time she was like 'how are you? I'm having a meal with my friends' so I said yeah I'm cool. Ill call you back in a couple of hours once you've eaten.

I know its hard to resist but put the damn phone down... women HATE and I don mean HATE clingyness... it may be cute at first but then it gets old FAST and then she will start to talk to you less and less seem more irritated when she does talk to you and that my friend is the ball game... please let her call you... its not that serious.. very simple... resist the impulse to pick up the phone and find something constructive to do.. really its in your best interest because once you start being clingy its hard to get back what you have forced away..

PLEASE stop calling her for now. IF you want to get back together. This isn't a game. She blew you off on that call.

I have a feeking you may have ruined it.

No more calls - see if she calls you - period, end of story - she may not cal lthough.

I have a feeling you've been calling her all along - AND 4 freaking days is NOT very long - I am talking wait WEEKS.

Message deleted

Pretty blunt, but what we were saying before.

HI all I got to serious question and I feel really stupid for asking this so just bare with me. I'm 17 and my girlfriend wants to take our relationship even further for the past few months we've been together and we've gone as far as performing oral on each other. Well she want to have sex now and I feel real dumb but I've never had regular sex and I was just wondering how do you find the hole where you stick your penis in. I mean I've looked at it plenty of times I just don't want to mess up and look stupid by sticking it in the wrong hole please reply.


Thxs ahead of time for any fuure replys I'll be checking daily :confused:

Dude - it's easy - just ask her to put it in. It's usually more comfortable for her to do it anyway. Seriously. Take your time - go slow.

No worries.

You'll learn where it is - it not a big deal

Just practice SAFE sex ALWAYS!

There's a first time for everybody. It will probably be a little awkward and not like in the movies, but if you two care about each other you'll figure it out together. Go slowly, be safe and enjoy it. But only if you are BOTH sure you are ready for this; don't do it because you feel pressured or because it seems like everyone else is doing it.

Erm yeah tip from me get her to sort out directing it in for the first few times :)

Anyway thought I'd give you an update, she called & text me today to see if I was OK, because I work right near where the explosions in London were. I spoke to her for a bit and then had to shoot because I'm at work and were very busy.

She knows she has an offer of dinner on Friday. Do you guys agree I should keep silence and let her call again. (she put kisses in the text and seemed quite sincere on the phone) :)

I agree. Leave it alone. Thank goodness she called after the explosions; she'd kind of be terrible not to. Let things settle. I know this is hard, but you can do it. It's worked for me. You find out if they really care or not. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or out of sight out of mind? Sounds like the first one, but you'll need some more time to tell. Tough with what you Londoners are going through, but give it a month anyway.

Good luck.

Auto -

Glad everything is OK for you - terrible what happened in London.

I would wait on this - I don't like the fact she was playing games with you and that Old Dude - although it may have been a test to see if you were jealous or not.

Don't do the dinner - YOU SHOULD NEVER and can't BUY a woman's affection. How about just hangin gout and having a drink and chatting. Most guys don't understand that a dinner can actually back fire on them - there's no need to pay for expensive dinners and a lot of woman lose respect because they feel like the guy is trying to IMPRESS them, when the guy doesn't need to.

Forget the dinner - and wait for her to call.

Thanks for the concern guys. Couple of my colleagues were on the tube but there OK just a few scratches.

I just find it the oppposite of what I'm trying to achieve, I feel if I don't contact her shell think I'm not interested & thus loose interest herself. Still I trust you lot and I will stick to what you say :)

See dude - what you don't get is woman think DIFFERENT than us. Different. You need to understand that they are in the bizzaro-world. MEN totally think in logic - WOman feel!! They need to feel attraction...

You do all these 'nice' things and dinners and are always available to her... she loses those feelings! She WANTS a challenge - especially early. It does not seem logically that you should NOT call her and that you should always show your interest - BUT, to create those 'feelings' she needs to think there is some doubt that you don't like her or you may see someone else.

These aren't games.

She does not think like you at all - you want to make her miss you, think about you, feel, reflect, wonder. You always calling gand making plans every day and she can't do those things.

Make simple plans with little pressure - meeting for coffe, or a drink - nothing - THEN if you want to go grab some food - do so.

The weekend is out. I haven't heard from her since Thursday now. When I went away on holiday she couldn't bear the thought of not seeing me for 2 weeks now I haven't seen her for 1 week. Its ridiculous, I'm missing her. I'd love to know what she's thinking right now.

Over the week I've kind of accepted that I probably won't hear from her again, so now. If I do. It will be a bonus.

The whole should I text / not text thing is buzzing through my head again.

Im going to see how this week goes but I'm unsure.

You're being insecure here - clingy-needy. This is what drove her away. Woman are repulsed by that. You need to learn to have other things in your life - quit thinking about her. No contact.

AND Text messaging is for WEASALS!! - Quit the text messaging. Woman want to be called. TEXTING is Wuss Boy behavior - ESPECIALLY in your spot where you drove her away.

Learn to be independent - especially early on. Woman love the chase. I know you contacted this gal WAY too much. AND it hasn't even been a week -

Give her space and it MAY rapir some of the damage you created.

I think she definitely sensed jealousy as well - woman know this.

Unfortunately you keep putting the ball in her court - bad news.

If you lay low, you will hear from her. You contact her and you STILL are NOT a challenge - she has you. Woman, initially need a chase, be in doubt - you seem to have surrendered to her WAY too early.

OK - early on you can NEVER put your egss in one basket - you need to see other woman. She most likely will see one other guy. This is for the first couple months.

You can never be concerned with one gal OR you will have heartache. Early on your just getting to know each - YOU REALLY KNOW nothing gabout her - maybe she is a chaeter and doesn't care. Or has a serious boyfriend she isn't telling you about and is cheating ON HIM with you.

You have to be causcious early on - BUILD BARRIERS. Don't fall. Things can turn quickly and IF your interest level is too HIGH, you WILL make stupid mistakes - no question.

Powerful Rule of Attraction: You need to behave with the person you don't like the way you've been behaving with the person you do like. You need to behave with the person you do like the way you've been behaving with the person you don't like.

Guys especially can't be too nice - you can't buy things - FEW and far between fancy dinners. This can come later on. Woman don't want to be bought UNLESS they are looking for a Sugar Daddy - and you don't want that.

Yeh its just quite hard. I had a really good weekend this weekend, went out all nights, been out with mates. I think its just a pain in the week at work, I seem ti think about her a lot. I will get over it, its just such a suddern turn its more of a shock than anything.

Friday evening all cuddled up happy on the sofa, Sunday eve all ed up.

Ah well :) Onward & Upward

Hi you guys, I'm on a slight high here because I got home and my mobile which I left at home had a voicemail from her.

She's just seeing how I am and sais was seeing if id had a good weekend and that hopefully id call her back.

Now... can I call her back :p I'm sure I can but I mean this is quite important. I should be defiant really, she's called me back for a reason here, I'm not going to lay down and let her come swanning back here.

Should I just call up & chat, go with the flow play a few cheeky moves, don't get whussy & .

DON'T CALL. Do not call. Don't call her. Do not call her while you are still on your high. Wait. Think about it tomorrow.

Hehe OK TurtleGirl Chill out :)

U don't think not calling will have a negative affect though?

No seriously. I'm not saying NEVER call, but don't call right now while you're all giddy. It's the only 'game' that works. It really does. Be patient. It works all the time. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice as always.

I actually wish someone had taken my phone away from mw once or twice in the past. It's tough, I know. But don't call yet... I'm actually (not) doing it right now... :)

DO NOT CALL!! DO NOT CALL!!

THAT'S WUSS BEHAVIOR!!

DO NOT CALL!!

LESS IS MORE. Yo udon't understand woman do you. You needs to 'miss you', reflect, worry, etc. Give her time to do this - WONDER WHY YOU DID NOT CALL.

You're still not a challenge - you're being all needy IF you call her. YOU HAVE A LIFE!! I wouldn't cal lher for 2 months.

CALL HER THURSDAY. No sooner. You're deal is a little different because this was NOT a long-term-relationship - you were NEVER exclusive - you're trying to get sort of to the exclusive level.

DON'T BE INSECURE - CALL ONE OF YOUR Buddies.

I know you won't do it though.

WHEN YOU DO CALL - be very funny, light, tease her, IF she asks WHY din't you call sonner - BUST ON HER "WHY DID YOU MISS ME?" Tease - nothing serious - NO Pressure - NO ASKING DATES. TELL HER IT'S OK FOR HER TO CALL YOU - TEASE.

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! END THE CALL EARLY!! PLEASE!! Like AFTER 10 MINUTES - BE BUSY!!

GET YOUR FREAKING POWER AND CONTROL BACK!!

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - LEARN ABOUT WOMAN AND RELATIONSHIPS!!

QUIT BEING A NICE GUY!! SYOP BEING SO AVAILABLE!!

Just PLEASE listen to us! Don't be needy!

Sorry I wimped out and called. It was a good chat, just like when we first hooked up. I finished the call on a good note as well, now I know your going to go mad but I looked at my phones log and I was on for 40mins. Sorry but we did have a lot to talk about :p and it did seem like 10mins anyway she was hinting that she had Friday free and I was like oh right cool. I think she wanted me to ask her out, no chance!

Sorry, but your loss - you're officially in the friend zone.

That was a weak, insecure and needy move and she knows it.

Too bad, so sad. Stupid.

Oh come on that's ridiculous! "Friend Zone" ?

We'll see eh.