https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/want-him-back-but-dignity-68852-2.html?highlight=karan82

Hi all,

I haven't come on this web site for a long time, but my initial story is on the link above. Its been 6 months since my ex left me, but I still can't get over it. I have heard that he is totally happy with what he did to me... I don't think he has any respect for me after I aborted. Its like he has 'washed his hands' off me. He's changed his number and doesn't want me to know anything about him. I called him in April (I had a work conference in is area), he missed my call, but did call me back. We spoke for 20mins and I asked him if he wanted to meet, and he said no he cant. He asked me if I was seeing anybody else-what does this mean?

Im confused... I really want him back... how can I stop this pain. Its not like I'm a unattractive person, I use to be a model, but this man had broken my confidence and I am not willing to give anyone else a chance.

Leave the guy alone, and do things you enjoy and get over him. Don't keep holding on to some one who has moved on, that's such a waste of time and emotion. Stay out of relationships for a while, and just get some fun loving people in your life.

I am 5 months into my breakup. I was a very senseitive person when my ex fiancé kept breaking up with me. Up to maybe 3 weeks ago I still wanted her back. What helped me was everyday I would spend time just thinking about her intensely. I would think about the good times we all had together and the way it would have been when we would have gotten married. I still do this now and sometimes analyze things she still does with me with all the head games she is still playing with me. BUT, Once you come to terms that it is over this when the healing begins. The 6 other break ups I didn't do this. I kept want her to come back. This was the wrong thing to do because it's was me living in a fantacy world in my head. And on this breakup the only way I was able to start healing was what I mentioned above trying to stay NC and staying busy. That was up to 3 weeks ago I started listening to what people were saying here on this site. Reading other post and giving opionions here has also help me move on. I believe I'm almost healed but I don't think I will ever fully recover since she was my first love. And she did have a son who I love. But I'm OK and you will to I didn't think I would ever, I thought I would feel the pain inside forever. The only thing I feel is lonely for the love from someone new. And I also felt unatractive and had no confidence, this is normal. But I'm starting to get that feeling back.

Hey, I've been in similar situations myself (and am currently). I've been broken up for about 9 months and still think of him. I was doing all right until he came to visit about a week ago and I was thrown straight back into all those old emotions. The best advice I can offer is to let go completely (unless he's absolutely worth going through everything you already went through for him a second time. This could happen just as easily again) and let yourself feel all the pain of heartbreak right now. The hope of what-ifs is the worst part, but once you erase that longing in your soul you can be happy and regain all that you are meant to be! Hope you're feeling better and don't be afraid to seek solace in friends and family. That's what they're there for. Keep your chin up!