Ok, this may be long so please bear with me. I have a 7 yo son with my ex. I am now remarried and have a 10 mo old son as well.

My ex and I did not have lawyers for our divorce and I filed all of the required paperwork myself (we both live in the state of SC). In our divorce decree it states that I have full custody (both legal and physical) of our son, he pays $200 a month child support through the court, and that he is allowed visitation every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. Although we do not get along with one another very well, we have been quite cooperative with one another when it comes to his visitation with our son. He was in prison when we separated and when he got out he would get our son every weekend. That was until the divorce was final and we started the every other weekend thing beginning the weekend after the divorce became final. We have been keeping up with that same schedule even through his 2 weeks (in general, he gets our son for around 20 days instead of 14 during the summer and the date changes yearly). This year my youngest son turns 1 on August 4th which happens to fall on what would normally be my 7 yo weekend with his dad. I called to tell him he needs to pick him up Saturday afternoon instead of Friday because of 1 yo party and that he could keep him until Tuesday as well... that is 3 1/2 days instead of the normal 2 days.

He says that he can't do that because he bought tickets to a Braves game for that same weekend for them to go to and how he promised our son he would take him 4 times during the summer (2 of which during his 2 weeks). ALso that he can't get the tickets changed for different days etc. And suggested that I have my 1 yo party on Sunday so that he can take our son to the games. My family goes to church on Sunday's which is part of the reason for the party being Saturday, that and Saturday IS his birthday! It is not even an important game, like playoffs or the World Series, they are playing some no name team. He can take him to another game anytime but my youngest only turns 1 once.

My question is this... Can I refuse him taking our son that Friday afternoon? I am not refusing him from seeing him just changing the day he picks him up. There is no set day or time listed on the divorce papers.

Who would I call to find out this information if no one here knows the answer?

I don't know the law, but the 1 year old is not going to cry if he isn't at the party, but the 7 year old might cry if he doesn't see the Braves game. You can make the choice but it is VERY VERY clear to me what I would do in this situation! Good luck.

Start is very right in her thinking. Also, the 1 year old doesn't even know what a birthday is... Can't you have the party the week before the 7 year old leaves or the week he comes home?

There may be no set time for the weekends but if it went to court you have a hard time explaining how Saturday afternoon to Tuesday is the new weekend. A judge will not see your situation as a valid reason to deny dad the time he is accustomed to having and in all reality you have always agreed to as being the standard weekend. You have set it as Friday to Sunday in that is what you have been doing and have so established. So if you try to change it you will likely been considered as the one who is frustrating the other parents visitation.

I am sorry but I also agree with the ladies above and I also share custody with my ex's. Sometimes you do have to move things around to work with the schedule you agreed to, especially because it is a court order. You can't change it because it happens to be inconvenient for you from time to time. A judge will not see it your way. Trust me. They will not see him as uncooperative they will see you as controlling and that could cost you. It sucks, sometimes it's our birthdays, sometimes it's even their birthdays, siblings birthdays, 4th of July etc. The most important thing it seems here is that you want all the members of your family to be there to celebrate your 1 yo's birthday and that can be done. It will just have to be on a different day. When your 1 yo wakes up that day you go in and say good morning love it's your birthday, tell him/her the story of the day he/she was born and how special that was to you and you say I love you. Then when his brother can be there you have a family party. Your 1 yo will not know the difference.

Heck unless both of your kids birthday's fall in summer then you should know that even some birthday's are spent all day in school and you have to have the party some other day. They don't care as long as you celebrate it at some point.

In the absence of a court order and you having full legal custody, you can refuse anything you want. However, do you really want to do that? If your son is really looking forward to going to this game with his dad I don't think you should deny him that. That's not to belittle the importance of your son's 1st. Birthday but it's not like the party will be ruined if your 7 year-old son isn't there. Perhaps you should let your son pick what he wants, birthday party or ballgame with his dad and respect his wishes and plan accordingly.

In the absence of a court order and you having full legal custody, you can refuse anything you want. However, do you really want to do that? If your son is really looking forward to going to this game with his dad I don't think you should deny him that. That's not to belittle the importance of your son's 1st. birthday but it's not like the party will be ruined if your 7 year-old son isn't there. Perhaps you should let your son pick what he wants, birthday party or ballgame with his dad and respect his wishes and plan accordingly.

That is one of the first things I did was ask him. He wants to do both. He wants to go to the game and wants to be at his little brother's birthday party. So instead of changing it because my ex asked me to, I am doing it for my son NOT his dad. I hate that he has to choose between things all the time. The bad thing is that I think he tells us both what he thinks we want to hear so not to hurt our feelings.

Thank you all.

As time goes on, he will have to choose between many things, because he will have ball practice, soccar games, boy scouts, school events and so much more that will start hitting on "dads" visit days.

And often I see one parent with custody knowing their child is suppose to be with dad, but they try and schedule things to make the child hate to go with dad.