I was going to put this as a reply to Superfly's joke, where did it disappear to? :confused:

Anyway!

Two horses are stood in the paddocks after a big race, chatting about how they did, one turns to the other and says;

"Well, I just don't get it - I'm fit, I'm healthy and I'm fast, I'm way, WAY ahead at the start of every race, but I'm ruined by the end, and I never win!"

His friend turns to him and says;

"Yeah, I know what you mean, I get the same thing, and I'm just as fit and healthy as you are!"

While they are chatting away, a wise old sheepdog happens to be wandering past and hears their conversation, he sits and listens for a while, and then adds his thoughts to the discussion;

"Guys" He says

"What you need to do is pace yourselves! It's no good using up all your energy right at the start of the race, if you start off at a steady gallop, you'll have plenty of steam left at the end where you can really open all pistons and hammer it over the finish line!"

One horse stares ... blinks ... turns to his mate and exclaims;

"Bugger me, a talking dog!"



( *Hopes the word 'bugger' doesn't offend anyone* :rolleyes: )

It was removed as it was seen offensive by some. But LOL that horse must have been like WHATTT? Tisk tisk though should have listened to the dog with his good advice instead of thinking how in the lol

lol here is a corny one but I got a small chuckle out of it

How to Catch a White Elephant
=============================
Submitted By Niels Kristian Jensen

Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a
muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,
drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will
be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like
muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row.

After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin
(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffin
without rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds
out that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger.

And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.