Could someone clairvoyant tell me what is happening with my life?
This is all I can say. Thank you.

It appears to me to be a relationship issue. Both of you have the same energy in your backgrounds in regards to being hurt before. Not by previous lovers or even by each other. But from a parent or both parent that were not there for you like they should have been ,when you were growing up. Terrible pain caused by this event. This is also his energy.
You both have been hurt deeply and do not trust in general any relationship that you are involved in, let alone the one you are in together.
You are both very independent people. Born into this world independants. Meaning you did not need the energy of a mother or a father(regardless of what society says) to make it all right for you.
You are both healers believe it or not. And that is how you were drawn to each other, to help. Soul mates know in what ares the other one needs to grow in. So they push each others buttons, because sometimes we get stuck in our growth, complacent. And don't grow don't move on like we are supposed to. So our soul mates give us that extra push or shove when we need it. Puts the fire under us ,so to speak to get us moving in the right direction. Its hard ,its difficult, but slow down, stop pushing your will. I don't see either one of you involved in anything or any one that you should not be.
Both have very strong wills, both have been very hurt.
But you both made a pack in a previous life that you would work it out get it right this time. Each time you were together in a previous life,each time your relatioship did not quite work out it failed. This is the life time you both decided to get your #### together and work it out. Sorry for the french.
Healers have led very hard lives,lots of trauma,pain, so that you could help other people, so you would know how to help someone when they came to you for help, they have to have all experience. Sadly.
Both of you are sensitive very, I mean very and should not be talking to each other the ways that you do. Meaning you are both psychic to some extent( whether either of you believe it or act on it or not) and you pick up on the other ones energy, you feel it even when the other says nothing is wrong,you both know ,you can feel that something is. Why ou pick up on each other nervous energy and bang the trouble begins.chilllllllllll
You are going to have your way in this lifetime. But it will not be like the typical, I call the Donna Reed version of life, picture perfect. Marriage,2.5 kids,a van in the garage. No you will have partner , you or they already have kids and maybe she supports him, she is the main bread winner. You will have it just not societys version of it, but it works for you 2. so stop listening to so calle well meaning friends and family. It is your relatioship not theirs. No one but you knows what goes on behind closed doors and it is none of their business. Peace ranieri

You are so right about us... Thank you very much. Now is very important to me. Yes there is a parent involved... I don't understand this so well. Hope to hear about my kids I want the best for them... while they are so young. I just want them to be happy...

They are healers also. I see them so much alike, and at the same time so different. How they handle things in life will be so different. The one is so carefree and lucky just like a little boy. And the other down gloom sad depression. Feels older like 35yr old woman, because this one watches everything going on in your house. Everything nothing gets past this one. Feels you everything you feel this one feels, almost like a mini you. Hears all arguments in the house and takes them so close to her heart, like it is her own relationship at stake. Very earthy very gounded this one . But sometimes to grounded too much thinking,dwelling.
They are both super intelligent.really. They probably wear you out by 3pm with all the questions about the universe and life and god. They will require extra schooling and activities because of there intelligence because they get bored easily. Even t.v. only works so long because they are not bumps on logs. They need to keep their ever growing minds stimulated. Both have gifts, maybe more than one that they are here to work on.
Life will at times be hard for them but they actually love the challenge and do not see the hand of god in their lives as hardship. They also pick up on every body around them. Out of the mouths of babes... and may find themselves at odds sometimes with people around them especially adults, that don't appreciate their honesty or the fact that they really are more intelligent than the average bear.
There will come a family business from these kids, if one is not already up and running or trying to get started by you and your mate. Outdoors and religion play a big part in their lives and sports keeps coming up for some reason. Maybe that will make sense in the years to come or maybe that already makes sense to you. Peace ranieri

I have a question for you. Does my husband had a secret life? Please don't hold back.

Choklatte 1 haven't we covered this from before. He may very well take off and leave but only to get away from the bickering. Stop pushing your will where he is concerned. Go exercise, go for a walk, when you feel the need to know,know,know. Stop. Pick another activity this cycle of argueing needs to stop. Take your kids to the park, the pool, its summer time and the living should be easy. Row row row your boat gently down the stream. Back off he willlll come around . Patience is not you virtue. You are bored ms intelligent extremely mind. Maybe your parents didn't teach you other options but I know and you know there are other options to fighting all th time. Remember the children.. make up apicnic and gooooooo.
The kids will love you for it and so will your big hunk of a man. Ask him to go on a walk with you around water,river,a lake near you. When is the last time you did something romantic for just him and you? No kids, get the kids out or get you 2 out on a regular basis, even if you have no money. Go to the park and just hold hands. No pressure.
Take the kids to grandmas house for the weekend older ones send on overnights. Even if the two of you don't spend the whole weekend together you will have some alone time to yourself. And this seems to be in big demand right now! You need some time to do your own thing too. Its not happening and is pushing you over the edge. Go out dancing with your girlfriends. It doesn't mean you're up to something you shouldn't be. Just the need to let off some steam.weekly, book this time. For you, alone time. For youand your husband, some together time. The kids rule all the other time. Yes you love them dearly, and you want to be with them a lot. But we all need regular time out. Alone.
Your kids go places with out you. And sometimes so does your husband. This will feel like the family is pulling apart at first or like you are breaking up. But actually you wiil find everyone happier and healthier because mom is taking time out to remember the woman she was and her dreams she had before you took on all these extra human beings to be resposible for. And they are a lot to be responsible for! Your kids demand a lot of your attention any good job done well requires a lot of attention.
But even ceos know when they are getting crusty and stale and take a much needed vacation. ALL THAT WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY even choklate1 gets burnt out from time to time. I know you think you can do it all but not without a vacation.
As for significant other if he loved you any more it would be sickening for the rest of us. You 2 used to feed each other and every thing get some of that back! Romance is not long forgotten. But it does get pushed aside for the daily fight the grind routine. He leaves that's all. He's yanking your chain because he knows he can. Used to be when he started to act like this when you were just dating you would tell him to go f himself and go do your own thing. And he would wake up out of his own funk and smell the coffee and come back around. And you didn't worry about him because you were busy with your friends or what ever. Peace ranieri

Ranieri,

How can you write so much about someone simply from these words:
"What is going on?

Could someone clairvoyant tell me what is happening with my life?
This is all I can say. Thank you."

You get no visual clues nor do you ask any questions yet you spout off 250 words with ease. How can you do this?

I do back off, I go out and yes I do a lot with the kids too. We live with his mother who dominating this marriage. I hope everyday we can just get our own house, but I do not believe this will ever happen. I am a very intelligent woman and I am not jealous or obssesive. I just don't want to waste any more time out of my life. Its differcult to find a job here. I ask myself all the time, is this really worth it in all that I do, or do I just leave. I am a good person and I can not let someone's mother change me and who I am. Yes they both have taken advantage of my finances but it is time for me to put my life back in order. I am suffocating here... is this because I really love my husband and I am blind in love with a man who has not touched me in over year, I am an attracted woman and a bi*** I am not. When a husband puts his mother before his wife... well HELLO>>>>>> why does he need me. Am I just a front... I take care of my kids.. and see that is my point... I take care of my kids... they have much more than other kids don't. I feel they both have gambling problems... I don't. I was blinded into a relationship with the issues and my thoughts were to help... but isn't it that adage... You can do bad by yourself. Mind you giving this woman over 3-4 k a month when I can be in my own house... use too not now. And they say they love me... but I have to pick up what they mess up... bad doesn't last forever and I am very young for my age... I say no more, I hope you see my point. I was happy before this. I was already celibute and its been so long I am afraid to get intimate with my own husband... the part that bothers me, just what is going on with him. This is 2005 not 1958 where woman just excepted a mans behavior... I had a life that I can very well easily get back. Raineri, from day one, his mother even stays in the same hotel we get, my husband does not have it any other way and I am not suppose to feel something... in hopes that he will come around... this is new to me and trust me, I can handle anything these days... No we don't fight all the time... he fights hiding the truth about things... now it does not matter what is really going on... I am about to walk out of this... but for the sake of my vows I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Sincerely... When am I important and why are simple things in life so difficult for anyone to handle... its called happiness, either you want it or not. Can anyone understand this without the fight, argue and otherwise violence... I don't promote it. Never did and never will... I am not that type of person but I will defend who I am... not a thief in the night. I hope you understand how hard I have worked all my life and thank god I have the health I do... like a 30 yr old and so thankful for that. Since when did you get married and your wife was the last thing important to you in every decision. It does not feel right to me.

Another thing, any man would love a woman like me... and maybe that is the trouble I am not a slut, prosti, or complain... maybe I should... its not my bickering that is all his mom does and my husband confuses me with her. She doesn't like anything but take take take... it feels like he should be married to her not me... no I am not jealous, but if you don't really love a person why waste any more time out of your life when you only want to be happy... She even tells him to go to the bathroom if he needs too, now you tell me, this man is 43 years old and can not do nothing without his mom... then you makes sure no one is happy when we do include her. They only time I see her happy is when she is spending my money at a casino... my kids don't deserve this. You must know the frustration I am had been going through and at least now I can control that a little better. So please don't be hard on me, I am only and have tried nothing but be a wife... not a Heckler. Its hard to get into a relationship but one sided relationships I am so sick of. She even decided when we got married, not us but her... even marched us to the preacher... what was that about... to prove her son isn't gay or something... I don't care now, I only and beginning to get my life back on track.. where it should be.. . I hope you understand. But its my decision to make the best decision for me and the kids.

Thank you. I am not bitter... we all make mistakes sometimes but we don't and can't keep repeating them... NOOOO I don't want sympathy... I have taken care of me all my life... I wish someone would take care of me for a change instead of me recruiting gergenerates who just want something for nothing.

I feel that there is more your husband perhaps has some trouble which is causing you to pull away.you are trying to hide your children from him specialy the boy,your worried that your son is changing,and this is upseting you even though you have faced it in your mind it still hasn't happened yet I need to stop now

Yes to a degree you are right. You see all my life I have shared my heart, it seems to relate back to that old adadge; "Many people take your kindness for weakness". Yes at that time a lot happened around me which has sadden me so now. It seems again all is repeating myself. I am still with my husband, I do believe he is trying so hard right now to do the right thing. But what I am running out of patience with is his mother. She dominates him so much totally I believe he is now getting ill in health, yet I don't understand why he sacrifices happiness in being her slave. If she was a good woman, I would be completely understanding. But let me give you a for instance. This lady has nothing but smart remarks with my kids. So bad that yesterday while my husband and I went to the store, Devon told her he could get clean sheets for his bed hisself. She told him that, that was wrong and blow up how my son talks to her. I made Devon apologize if he did get smart with her. She resented this so much that last night he did sleep with any sheets on his bed. Does a 12 year old boy deserve this? I don't think so. But it does not mean anything to her. My question is "How long can I take putting up with this woman? My husband does not see what she does because he is hearing impaired and she would never let him know how much she despies me for trying to be there for him. Everything we do is what she wants. We do nothing on our own.....nothing. We dont spend time together as a man and wife....and she does everything with him except sleep with her son. She dominates his money, his time and drives him to no end. How long can he take this...from her. I pray everyday she will release him from her clutches.....I use to see her talk to him like a dog after thousands of dollars she still boost at us, "She wants it her way or no way". Three times I had to call realtors back to say "No my husband is not ready to move". So now I don't know how much of this I can stand by to see. I wonder why would God send me to someone so heartless and selfish. She does not pay any bills, her son pays them all and me when I was working. She leaves us nothing. My husband is a good man and it will take him to see how destructive she is. All she wants to do is gamble all the money away and make him pay for her life after his father gave her everything. I just don't know what to do anymore. You can not talk to her and I believe she is much healthier then she lets him believe. So mind you I can take care of myself but I love my husband and I think he deserves the very best. He does work hard. I help when I can but she even makes plans for my money now in addition. I don't hate her I just don't understand any of her actions. If we leave she will be left alone. I don't want to be responsible or have my husband resent me if she pulls some kind of antics to get him to stay home. She will protect that at any cost if it even means me staying here under her raft. His cousin even called and told me that she would never let him go. So I just try to not worry my husband and do things on my own. He is a good person. I just want to live a quiet life without all her drama, day after day. I clean, I cook, I take care of the yard so she don't get on my husband so much. I even do most of the washing now. In the kitchen, she does everything but burn it down and expects me to clean up her mess. OH well I pray that God steps in.

I have been out of town. Im sorry to hear you are still having so much trouble. Your letter says it all, honey. You are VERY SMART, EXTREMELY INTELIIGENT WOMAN and you are feeling this way because you are right! The other woman is his mother. And no you do not have to deal with this.
She obviously runs the show and with his relationship to her the way it is, his marriage , his loyalty and his balls. You must stand up and get out. No ultimatums, no threats. Can you go stay with friends or relatives. Even welfare at this point will be a blessing so you can use your own free will again. You FEEL this way for a reason you can't take it any more. You are not happy, you are not being fulfulled, you are not being made to feel like a woman. And only you can decide how much more of this you can actually stand. He may actually stand up and realize how much you did mean to him, after he gets into a nasty fight with his control freak mother and will eventually stand up to her and put his man pants back on.
Rent the movie "Living Out Loud" with Danny Devito,queen Latifah is in it and the moovie will speak volumes to you. No the significant other or monster in law will not appreciate it, but its

For you not them take it in another room and watch it.
Monster in law is miserable. In her own way. . And no kidding your sex life is down the toilet. Who can relax and let down your defenses and get romantic with that going on.
The only way you two will come together is to get away from mil(monster in law). By getting out or by some freak of nature they end up arguing and he confides in you again.
He rebelled against her and her wrath some time ago and that is when you came in to the picture. She has never forgotten that. She needs to cut the umbillical cord already. Didn't she see the Oprah show about overbearing moms still invading their children's boundaries long after they've left home. And he feeds the sick relationship too, don't think he doesn't they enable each other.
It's a matter of money. She has it, and he has never strayed far from it. And him standing on his own two feet would surely p*** her off. She is perfectly aware of the position she has you two in. She is aware of him slowly turning away from you, because he has no balls to stand up to her. And he and you both feel( because you are living there right now) a certain obligation to her. Which seems to me to be taken care of if you are paying her this much money. To me it would appear you are more than meeting you obligation to her, don't let her take over your family too.
Yes, there are many fish in the sea. Im glad you aren't so far gone yet that you ve lost track of just how lovely you are. And boss lady mil knows that next to her you are the best thing that ever happened to him and she is jealous. Yes jealous. Why else reek so much havoc on you life? She's bored and lonely just like you. And you both are waiting for husband/son to stand up and smell the coffee.
You both have made it easy for him, spoiled him in a way. With behaviour. Both women are strong and are willing to take over and see to whatever he doesn't. He knows this too. Its like he doesn't have to care because one of you two will see it through if he doesn't. Sheer laziness.

You can try and try. It is not up to you to make it all right for him. He has to do this for himself. All you have to take care of is yourself, 1st. And your children 2nd.
And it is not up to mil to make it all right for him either. She has her own junk to worry about. Either he quits acting like a irresponsible little boy and takes up for his family or he stays forever with his mommy and never grows up.
He feels helpless in a way towards dealing with her on one hand because she strips him of his manhood with one fell swoop. In an instant he's back in high school again running, hiding, rebelling like he used to. Old habits die harddddd. But he only needs to stop that old cassette playing over and over in his mind and remember,"IM AN ADULT NOW and have out grown the need for a mother and her dysfunctional words have no effect on me now. Im not a coward, I am a man and my mother has to obey my personal boundaries and my wife's and children.
And you would not let one of your friends treat you like this so do something about it. What would you do if a close girlfriend neglected you so.
She wouldn't be your best girlfriend any more would she? You would stop going around her.
I know is tuff out there. But because times are hard we feel bad about ourselves, think we are not worthy of better treatment, or we have to take it. You are not a bad person because of financial difficulties. They can happen to any one at any given time by the grace of god.
You had boundaries and you are holding fast to them, she is ripping away at them fast and hard, but don't you let her.
There will come a time when one of his children will say something that will be very hurtful to him. But the child is speaking honestly about the situation. If it hasn't happened all ready. He will moan and groan about how wounded he is. But this is the 1st in a long line of red flashing light statements for him to wake up! And it takes the words of the children to wake him up. And he will.
But it wiil take his pulling away or out of this living arrangement for him to fully comprehend his love is still for you. Mil is confusing himm and she knows it. She played these sort of head games on him when he was younger. Peace ranieri

Ranier,

You could not have said this better, I always knew but was never sure, so yes its up to me now. Gosh you described her to the T. Well the kids are away for a few weeks so they will get a break from this. I just wanted you to know I want to thank you so much and thank you for not thinking that I am so harsh. I just wonder at times why do I repeat this cycle, I suppose I will never know. I wonder now what can I do from here but you already said and I just have to put it in action. Can I take my car, with me. Hahahahaha. I paid for most of it and he says its his way of paying me back for what went on... but I am not so sure. Now she even indicates she is going in my purse in which I keep it locked in the car... isnt that something... she is bold alrite... I want to say so many times Lady give me a break, but she will never do that.

Well take care and thankkkkkkkkkk you so much. I feel better now that someone understands me. Thanks again. No I am not bitter or jealous... no way, no time for this. She wants me too, but I refuse.