My wife of 11 years has recently brought up bringing in another male for a 3 way. She says it's a fantasy of hers and she is willing to do a 3 way with me and another girl. She says it's a one time thing, unless I want to do another 3 way with another girl. Our relationship has been great, we never had any questions of cheating or anything. We have 2 children together and are a normal happy family. She just says she always fantasized about having a 3 way. She says that it wouldn't be like cheating since I'd be there in the room the whole time. Any advice on going through with the plans? From what I've been reading, three ways seem to actually ruin a relationship. To be completely honest, we have been very secure in our love for each other. The funny thing is, recently with this topic coming up, this has all even spiced/heated up our current sex life.

Any comments or suggestions are welcomed!

Thanks,

It's thin ice really. It's entirely possible that doing a 3 way would create jealousy problems for either of you. You may not think so now, and you may even think it's ridiculous... but it could and likely will happen.

You are probably better off just keeping it as a fantasy.

Hey Odinn, I hear you. The weird thing is, we've never been jealous of anyone at all. We both understand that we always come home to each other at night. We've been very secure in our relationship these past 11 years, and even the 2 years we dated.

Its hard to know for sure... you both may think one thing now... and find out you really feel something much different later... no one can guarantee HOW they will react after the fact... its a risk that goes with it.

I've had several 3 ways with two women before... but I was single then, and it was at the request of my girlfriends that were involved.

I honestly can't say it would have worked with my wife (and we never tried even though we've joked about it in fun)... we both can be a bit jealous.

And its one thing with a girlfriend... but another thing with a wife.

It's a double jeopardy... because if you have a MFM and a FMF three way, if EITHER of you develop issues, either time it might wreck the marriage.

I'm no stick in the mud... part of me says go for it... but the other part screams think about what might happen.

So she wants to watch you have sex with a man ? Sorry had to say that, first and foremost guidelines to what is gong to happen, and the third party should be in agreement with it..

Normally consider someone you don't know and won't see again, since if it is someone you see every week, it could be hard.

But it is like a bottle of wine, no way to put the cork back in, once it is taken out, once I happens, things are never the same.

Some dreams should perhaps never happen

So she wants to watch you have sex with a man ? Sorry had to say that, first and foremost guidelines to what is gong to happen, and the third party should be in agreement with it..

Normally consider someone you don't know and won't see again, since if it is someone you see every week, it could be hard.

But it is like a bottle of wine, no way to put the cork back in, once it is taken out, once I happens, things are never the same.

Some dreams should perhaps never happen

Being in the room is not the same as being a participant. If either of you fall asleep and the other person and guest continue, is that 'cheating'?

Do you consider it cheating? Does your wife already have someone in mind to invite into your bed or would you try to find strangers? Have you discussed the possible consequences such as sexually transmitted diseases or infections or what would happen if she or the other woman became pregnant?

If you decide to experiment, together agree on expectations and set boundaries for before, during and after that all three participants will stay within.

I will say this. My husband and I have shared the fantasy of having a threesome for over 25 years. It is one fantasy that will never become a reality for several reasons. For me it is mainly because my husband is the person who turns me on even in fantasy. Anyone we invited into our bed would be little more than a toy to me and I don't think that would be fair to the other person.

I think you need to have a very clear understanding of what you both expect. A true 3-way with another man involves contact between you and the other man - or else it's a 2-way with one person half participating.

I, in fact, would not be happy if my husband suggested it.

Love FrChuck's comment and insight!

I can't imagine watching my husband having sex with another woman in the same manner, with the same "moves" he has sex/makes love with me. I personally think it would destroy me - but that's just me.

Communication is key. Honesty is key. Me and my wife are very secure in our relationship. Absolute best of friends. We have experimented with having threeways. We first tried a MFM. She wanted us to do this before we tried adding a female. She is also Bi Curious. I am not. No MM play! We had a great time. We then had several FMF experiances with an aquantance. She got to experment. We both enjoyed it. BUT she found she was becoming increasingly jelous. I did not want to make her jelious. I however could not stop thinking about how hot it was sharing her and seeing her with another man. We discussed it thouroughly and found that MFM was the biggest turn on for both of us. This is by far the hottest sex I have ever had. And I we are like rabbits for weeks after every experience. We have been playing togather for about 5 years now. Our relationship has never been better.

My advise is to have completely open and honest communication with your partner. Jeliousy WILL have a negative inpact on your relationship. This will not work if either of you become jelous.

I am no expert on the subject, Just someone having a successful relalationship and regular three ways...