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-   -   Why would my husband want me to sleep with his friend and watch? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=112367)

  • Jul 22, 2007, 12:21 PM
    MCurious
    Why would my husband want me to sleep with his friend and watch?
    I'm 31, My husband is 37. We are a typical american family with two children living in the suburbs. This past weeken my husband had a few friends fly in to visit from all over the US. Some that I've never met before. The first night they were in, somehow we ended up in a oral threesome. It was fun but I felt very weird because I was unsure if my husband wanted me to enjoy it or not?? He then looked at me and said, It's OK, have fun with it. So I did. I couldn't believe it. We have always been very open with our sexual fantasies, I just never thought that they would become reality. Then the second night, He asked me if I would sleep with his friend and let him watch. I've never me this friend before (same on as the night before) but I knew he was married with three children and they had a great life! Why would the two of them want to do this?? I can't figure it out? I did what he asked and it was incredible, but I really only did it because he really really wanted me to. I try to fulfill some of his fantasies and couldn't believe this one! I just don't understand what this means. I couldn't watch him or even want him to do something like that and his friend said the same thing. So why would my husband be OK and want this?? I know he loves me more than anyone would ever know, so I just don't get it? Any thoughts on this??
  • Jul 22, 2007, 12:42 PM
    kp2171
    Maybe its some kind of voyeur fetish? For example, I've seen my wife naked, but when she's in the shower and I pass though as see some skin, its exciting. Now, I could see her ten minutes later, comeplely undressed in the bedroom. Yes, I still find that attractive, but there is something about seeing her in the shower that amps up the excitement. Don't know why. Wired that way.

    So... he's attracted to you. You don't make it seem like there's any major issues with your sex life other than this new development. So, like I said, maybe he's combining a voyeur fantasy with his love of seeing you and watching you during sex. Just one possible spin.

    Was the oral threesome one of your fantasies?
  • Jul 23, 2007, 05:55 AM
    smoothy
    I've heard of guys that like this... I however can't understand his logic since I get real protective when it comes to my wife.

    However since he asked you for this, you tried it and enjoyed it as well as did he then don't worry about it. You both got a thrill from it even if you never do it again.
  • Jul 24, 2007, 09:22 AM
    shatteredsoul
    Why would he want to do this? Because he is a freak! He obviously likes things kinky and doesn't have any hang ups about sharing his wife. How do you feel about it now, since the only reason you did it was to please him? Do you resent him or feel guilty in any way? It is difficult to be married forever and not try new and interesting things, but it is always dangerous when you add other people into your sex life. You don't surely believe that was a one time deal do you? He will want to do it again and again, now that he knows he can get you to do it. I don't know if you are OK with this, but I imagine you might want to think about that. I hope you are being safe too, because you don't know what diseases that guy may have, or how many other people he does this with. It is quite a tangled web you are weaving. Be careful!
  • Jul 24, 2007, 10:50 AM
    smoothy
    If they are both OK with it then maybe its something they get to enjoy together. Its definitely not something that would work for just anyone however. Its not for me. I know my insanely jealous side would come out.
  • Jul 24, 2007, 11:13 AM
    Lowtax4eva
    This sounds very familiar

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ight=threesome

    It's up to you, if your OK with it I guess it's OK, but it sounds like he's very into other guys, I for one can't see any other reason why he would want to watch you do anything with another guy, another girl seems to be a common fantasy for guys though.
  • Jul 24, 2007, 11:24 AM
    shatteredsoul
    Well. That is an interesting perception, although I don't know if he INTO guys. Maybe he is into kinky sex and watching his wife BE with other guys. I guess I never thought about it from your angle. I guess you should consider that. Yes, it does seem pretty common for men to fantasize about seeing girls together. I guess whatever floats your boat. The reason I commented was because she said the only reason she really did it was because he wanted her to. That is different than wanting to do it yourself. What kind of relationship will this turn into because of this behavior? That was my concern. If she is OK with it, than it is between the two of them. If she was really OK with it, I don't think it would have been on her conscience to ask the question on here. Maybe I just read too much into it.
  • Jul 24, 2007, 12:23 PM
    MCurious
    To answer all of your responses, What I meant by I only did it because he wanted me to was that I would never have ever needed to have sex with anyone else in my life. My husband and I have an amazing sexlife. We talk about fantasies a lot. He of course is dying to see me with another woman, we just didn't have that opportunity. Over the past three days things have been great. No resentment, no guilt from either of us. We have had incredible sex everyday since. We talked about it and decided that we don't want this to be our lifestyle and that it was just a fulfillment of a fantasy. If I ever had the chance to be with a woman in front of him, I probably would. I love to make him happy. He makes me sooo happy. It's not that I did not enjoy any of this, the two of them were very sweet and made sure that every thing was OK with me everyminute. I guess I was just confused on why or maybe more like how he could be OK with this and never think about it and get jealous. I wouldn't be able to get it out of my head if it were him. Maybe it is OK and he is just a freak!
  • Jul 24, 2007, 12:29 PM
    shatteredsoul
    WEll you are two consenting adults. So it doesn't really matter what any of us think. If you are OK with it and it isn't hurting anyone than who are we to judge? I understand your point of view and even if I don't have the same one, I am continuously learning from those that think differently than me. I will say again, to be cautious. I don't think anything is wrong with fulfilling a fantasy. It is only you that has to be OK with it. Yeah, you have a unique situation but maybe yours will last forever. I am glad there hasn't been any tension between you. I think you two are more mature than most people who try this stuff. I don't know if I could handle that.
  • Jul 24, 2007, 12:58 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MCurious
    To answer all of your responses, What I meant by I only did it because he wanted me to was that I would never have ever needed to have sex with anyone else in my life. My husband and I have an amazing sexlife. We talk about fantasies alot. He ofcourse is dying to see me with another woman, we just didn't have that opportunity. Over the past three days things have been great. No resentment, no guilt from either of us. As a matter of fact we have had incredible sex everyday since. We talked about it and decided that we don't want this to be our lifestyle and that it was just a fulfillment of a fantasy. If I ever had the chance to be with a woman in front of him, I probably would. I love to make him happy. He makes me sooo happy. It's not that I did not enjoy any of this, the two of them were very sweet and made sure that every thing was ok with me everyminute. I guess I was just confused on why or maybe more like how he could be ok with this and never think about it and get jealous. I wouldn't be able to get it out of my head if it were him. Maybe it is ok and he is just a freak!

    Well, you both enjoyed it then... so don't sweat over it. Count it as a experience you can both think back on and enjoy even if it will never happen again.

    Some guys are jealous... some guys aren't. Maybe he was cool with it since he was there and knew about it. But if you had snuck out and did it behind his back he might freak out and be the most jealous person you ever met. Two different situations. Everyone is different, the fact everything is still cool shows there is no reason to worry or overthink this.
  • Jul 31, 2007, 08:33 PM
    qpidzchokehold
    Either he wants to play the role of a cuckold husband or the role of having a hot wife. Both roles are becoming more common in marriages. As long as both husband and wife knows how to separate love from lust I promise your marriage will blossom to the fullest. Think about it... There is no lies, nothing to hide he or she knows who your having sex with. For Pete's sake he is there watching and enjoying you with another person. Trust me you will have this open channel of communication. Usually when a husband or wife can't be honest, 90% of lies has to do w/ cheating. Again, you and your spouse have to be prepared mentally for something like this just not anyone can do it.
  • May 26, 2008, 06:13 PM
    bigpapa420
    Just tape u guys having sex and let him watch it... then you won't feel awkward having sex with one of his friends
  • May 26, 2008, 06:33 PM
    Choux
    Variety in his sex life, I would think.
  • May 26, 2008, 07:08 PM
    kp2171
    Dear Lord. This post is almost a year old and the OP hasn't been back.
  • May 26, 2008, 07:32 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Post closed

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