Why doesn't my boyfriend EVER seem to want me sexually?
Other than the sex thing, I believe I really do have the world's greatest boyfriend. He is extremely nice to me, always telling me how much he loves me, always wanting to cuddle in bed, always doing anything to make me feel loved, always telling me how "cute" or "hot" I am... he even will tell his friends right in front of me how cute and amazing of a girlfriend I am, which in my past experience is something guys do not usually do. They are usually afraid of being viewed in a negative way by their friends. But not my boyfriend... he will announce to the world how much he loves me. Also, on a daily basis, he tells me how much he wants to marry me. He tells me he has never loved anyone like he loves me and how he would never leave me, cheat on me, or betray me in any way. I really do believe he loves me and I so completely love him as well. However, when it come to sex, there is a MAJOR problem. Now I may not be the hottest girl on the face of this earth, but I have also never had a guy turn me down for sex either. I have never had a problem in my life with someone wanting me sexually, whether it be a boyfriend or otherwise. With him, it has always been a huge problem. At first, I was still technically married, so we both agreed we would wait until the divorce went through. But then, about 2 months into our relationship, we had sex. The night we did, he had a huge problem getting himself to do it, but eventually, it happened. After that, we didn't again for about 2 weeks or so. Then it was a solid 2 months before we did again. At this point, we have been together about 8 months and I swear, I bet we have had sex no more than 10 times. I have tried making advances toward him, in fact, not 2 hours ago, he stood in front of me and I tried to undo his zipper to give him oral sex and he said, "If you want to play, that's fine, but just give me a minute or so"... um, okay, I'm still waiting. No, he is NOT into porno, and NO he is definitely not gay, and NO there is no other girl involved... I am with him almost every second of the day. We never get sick of each other, which is something we just discussed the other night. He always has a different excuse though for not having sex. Some of the excuses have been: Just give me a minute, I have had a traumatic sexual experience a few years ago (but won't say what), I have a problem with getting it up due to my medication, I'm too tired, I'm too much in pain (he has major problems with his back, even has rods in it), and I didn't know you wanted sex (later the next day when discussing it). I am at a loss here. I love this man more than anything. I know he loves me. But I will not marry him when we have this issue between us. I don't think I am asking so much. If I could even get him to have sex with me once a week or so, I could live with that. I know I have a huge sex drive, but I don't think once a week is a lot at all, considering I could handle with ease 1-2 times a day. Am I being selfish here? Is sex really important enough to lose a guy that I know loves me wholeheartedly? I have tried talking to him about this and what it is doing to my self-esteem, but he just assures me I am beautiful and says it's not me. It doesn't change the fact that it is ruining me emotionally. I just don't know what to do. Other than this, everything is so fairytale perfect. He is everything I have ever wanted, but I need to feel WANTED sexually too!