I am very new to this site. I have been on forums before so I am rather familiar. I guess I should start the issue.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. In the last 2 years he has told me that he wants to have a child with me. (I have three children from a previous relationship). Since this was discussed and I agreed I have tried to seduce him on the most proper time of the month to conceive. Last night as an example is my fertile time. I tried to initiate sex in a very sexy yet loving way. He pushed me aside. I felt terribly unwanted and very pushed aside. I am still trying with him. Sex doesn't seem to be as important to him in our relationship than it is to me. I am sexual and yet require intimacy most of all. Knowing that intimacy doesn't always mean sex he thinks it does. I have starved and am starving for affection and attention. And have even been jealous of our dog as it seems she is getting what I am starving for. I have tried talking with him about this in a very non confrontational way but it turns out that way. He in turn is the confronter. Using this to point out my flaws and my downfalls. I have heard him repeat over and over again that he doesn't want to talk about this. He actually doesn't want to talk about much of anything. I have feelings and when they are hurt and he is the one that hurt them I tell him. I am afraid that if I keep talking it will push him away. But I have been pushed so far away that if I don't talk I feel I will walk right out the door. We got into a big fight the other night and one of the things he said to me was that he no longer wants to have a baby with me. I cried and cried hard. It meant so much to me that he wanted me to have his baby, that it hurt so bad when he said he didn't want it anymore.

I am struggling with communication. He yells at me all the time and tells me how wrong I am. I can't have my own feelings without him taking them and using them as his own in one way or another. I use "I" statements instead of "You" statements and that still doesn't work. I need to communicate my feelings to him but I don't want to be yelled at or told that my feelings are silly. He discounts me and my decisions. Makes me feel as though my judgements are wrong and that he is the only RIGHT one here. He was raised by his father who was very strict and showed very little love. He even tries to instill his upbringing on my children now. We have lived together this whole time. Myself esteem is very low. I have tried sharing this with him to no avail. I have spoken to my girlfriend about it and she seems to be the only one that brings me up. When I finally feel confident again to speak my mind and try to have sex with my man it turns into a fight or I am now in the livingroom crying because I feel unsatisfied and frustrated. Help me talk to him. He hasn't showered in weeks either. So I am beginning to think that he is suffering from some sort of depression. I want to be with him and long for his affection.