A while back I decided to get a surgery for breast augmentation. I was conservative, I just went from an A/B to a full B. But it's a real nice shape and they look beautiful.

Now here's the problem:
I started dating this guy who is also one of my old college friends. He is a super good kisser and he's cute, he's a laid off engineer, victim of the economy.

So one day we were out somewhere and the subject came up about some girl in a magazine or something and he says, "oh I HATE fake boobs, they are the biggest turnoff to me! They are so disgusting!!! I don't want to grab a handful of silicone..." Of course he has no idea mine are "fake" (I prefer the term "enhanced", because my boobs are real they just stick out a little more than they used to.)

I just figured after that I should just break up with him and leave it at that.

I tried breaking up with him and he kept saying "give me a reason"... He kept guessing, "do you have a kid, is there another guy?... I can't think of any other reasons that you could have..." Anyway, after a long talk with him, and I didn't tell him, I just decided to take my chances and date him a little longer. Maybe this is just a superficial thing.

So one day, there was that situation where we were alone and he was wanting me to take my shirt off, so I did, and he just says, "OMG, those are the nicest boobs I've ever seen in my LIFE! Wow you look perfect...you're so hot..." If he only knew.

I didn't really let him touch them too much, I know if he touches them and I'm setting up, he won't be able to tell, but if I'm laying down, I'm sure he'll know.

My implants are under my muscle, so when I'm laying down, my skin is stretched tight and my boobs feel like muscle instead of fat like they are supposed to be. Of course before I had my boob job, when I was laying down I just didn't have anything there.

So now this guy is obsessed with my boobs but they aren't natural and he hates not natural boobs. What's to protocol here?

Also, if I tell him, he does know other people I know, so I don't want it getting around.

Just tell him. There's a huge difference between B cup boobs and the sort of fake ones you see on many of the celeb magazines. Are they sensitive? If he touches them, do you feel it? If so, they are your breasts.

At the moment, the poor man is imagining all sorts of terrible things. He'd much rather you have a pair of enhanced breasts than a husband or kid.

That is a dilly of a pickle eh?

I would tell him that they're not real before you sleep together. I would be open and honest about it.

There are two reasons that he would say that he does like fake or augmented breasts. The first is that he has a true hate on for them. He doesn't like them beginning to end. The other reason is that he is trying to put on the façade that he likes women the way they are. He might be trying to say that he doesn't women to fit the predefined image that popular media has decided you should look like.

If he is the first he will probably find some reason to dump you after he finds out. If he is the second reason than he should be fine with them.

If he hasn't really said anything at this point... I wouldn't be too concerned that he'll dump you when he finds out. As well I don't think it will be something that he'll spread.

Just make sure he knows that you don't want this coming out.

Have you discussed 'enhanced cleavage' with him since that day?

If not, you both may be harboring misconceptions about what the other person is thinking.

His comment could have been an attempt to put you at ease about your breast size as compared to larger breasted women.

He may have been talking about the women who over-enhance and wasn't thinking about those who go for a natural look such as you did.

Bottom line is either talk to him about it or let him go. I have a feeling that somewhere in the back of your mind you are calling him a hypocrite because he finds your breasts attractive after his previous comments. I don't think that is a way you want to describe the person you are dating.

Tell him the truth and tell him that the reason why you haven't mentioned it was because of his comment.

Sooner or later he'll find out, if you keep dating him that is.

Honesty is the best policy. The longer you wait to tell him, the more this will gnaw away at you.

If he's not okay with it, then he's not for you. Better to find out now than later.

I'm not sure if I tell him if he will say it's OK and still date me. He might do that, but I think that later he will find some reason to break up with me down the road.

I think there are other guys out there who would be more understanding or who could still like me for the way I am. And yes, my breast are still as sensitive as ever and I don't feel like they are any different than before.

Problem is, when I try to break up with him, he'll say
"give me a reason" and then what should I say? I suppose I could always blame it one the fact we're somewhat incompatible and honestly, I don't think he's the guy I'd want to marry anyway. At least by breaking up with him, he'll still think I'm just super pretty and he'll never know. But I've half thought about telling him and breaking up with him just so he'll understand why I'm breaking up w him... but then he'd end up telling someone.

As it stands, he's likely to break up with you because you have some secret that is preying on your mind, but you don't trust him enough to share it with him.

Nothing in life is fixed. Chances are the breasts will be a very small issue for him, but there's no guarantee that in a year's time, you don't find other reasons to break up.

He's made one comment about not liking fake breasts. That doesn't mean he feels strongly about it. Men are not subtle. He's not going to say "Oh, that's fine", and then look for a different excuse to break up with you in six months. If it bothers him, he'll say so. And you can put your case about why you did it, and why you think it was the right decision for you.

Why would he tell anyone?

I would say tell him. Then explain why it took so long to get to the point.

If that is reason enough for him to dump you, would you want to be in a relationship with someone so shallow?

Although as mentioned he may be basing his opinion on the outlandish and obvious implants as seen on strippers , porn stars and women of questionable taste. (In my opinion) and he may see things differently once he knows.

I don't like the obvious fake boobs myself, but if I met a woman that had them, and she was fun to be with and a good person I wouldn't let the physical aspect override the rest of her personality I found attractive.

I think that reasonably it should be a non-issue. What the person is as does is what is important.

I would be tempted to wait until he's going on one about false boobs, then just turn to him and say, oh really, well guess what these here puppies are natures enhancements and you loved them.

Id love to be a fly on the wall.

I expect he will be fine, the way enhacements are done now it is very rarely noticeable, it is just that Jordan and others took it to the max by going from 36d to something like 48 triple f, but they did it for attention, OP you merely enhanced your natural attributes. Hardly a crime, if you've got it flaunt it.

One of my many brothers wives (have 8 brothers) had hers done many years ago, before the improvements in how they're done were made, however each time my sister in law had them altered in any way, they would call around to our home and he would say to her go on then show them the newbies, as she pulled her top up once he proudly said " look at those Ma, Tits on Tick" he had arranged to pay for them in installments, it's the standing joke now..

Good Luck with telling the b/f.

Are you looking for an excuse to break up? If it weren't the enhancement issue, would you be attempting to find another reason?

If you don't see the relationship going anywhere, be honest with him and yourself and move on. You don't need any more reason than you just aren't into him. The basic reason for dating is going out with people to find the one you are interested in spending more time with.

If you are distancing yourself from becoming closer to him because you don't want to deal with the subject of real or fake, then be honest with yourself about that too. If he is a great guy and you really do care about him, don't cheapen those feelings by turning them into sour grapes.

Think about women who go out for the night,lets start with makeup,enhanced eyes lashes,colour contacts,maybe hair extensions,different hair colour,fake tan,push up bra,the pull the tummy in and the bum up pants,high heels to lenghten the leg,the list goes on and on.

Not to mention if there is a big occasion coming up the diet and exercise may be upped a notch.

We all do things to enhance our bodies,either for ourselves or others.

There is no big deal here,and I'm betting at this stage he doesn't care he just wants to get at your boobs!

Tell him.

Short and sweet.

You never know,he might just change his mind about what he likes,the longer you leave it the harder it will be.

I dated a girl with a great chest job... she moved from a because to a full d. honestly, while there was a little more firmness perhaps, it wasn't at all a putoff. It wasn't "boobs on a board"... the doc seemed to have half clue, and she was happy with her form and figure, which translated into her mental state.

I don't care what cup size you are, confidence is sexy as sin. So it worked for her... worked for me too.

Sooo...

In the confines of Adult Sex... ill admit... nipples taste the same whether the girl is natural or enhanced. Lips feels the same. Fingers feel the same.

So... what to do with the boy who doesn't like enhanced ***s?

Educate him. Or walk. Both are acceptable.

I do not need to divulge my past sexual experiences to every new lover. Sure... I'm willing to give up some reasonable info, but some of the past is the past.

Likewise, I don't think you need to divulge all of your past to him.

Now... you know that you might need to address this in the future... implants are not for forever, and its reasonable to consider additional surgery in the future...

So... that known and said...

If you cannot be comfortable with him knowing this now, why expect it to be better later?

Again... I had a lover who was very up front about her enhancement.

While the nice physical form was nice, the real turn on was her mental state... the confidence that just glowed through.

So... sorry if your guy is too closed minded. He is clueless.

If you TRULY feel this way, then you need to break it off with the guy. Since you are fearful of telling him about your augmentation (it says a lot about what you believe his character to be... blabbing to everyone... trust issues shouldn't be happening this early in a relationship), then you have the other truths you have laid out here. You won't be lying. If you are incompatible, there isn't much more to say. If you want to avoid all the arguments, tell him that you simply don't envision the relationship moving to the next level, you don't see yourself married to him and that the longer this goes on, the more hurtful it will be for both of you down the road. So, you want to avoid hurting each other and maybe you can salvage your friendship before it is too late.

Frankly, I have never wanted to be with anyone who didn't want to willingly be with me. I didn't need a specific reason for a break up. We all know when a relationship isn't working out and it is better to go our separate ways. If he continues to argue with you and convinces you not to break it off again, I am concerned that he is exhibiting very controlling behavior. So, you might have another reason to get him out of your life without imparting your secret.

Eileen G. - I don't think he'd intentionally try to spread it around, but he might slip out one night if he's out drinking with his buddies... I think you're right, after thinking about it, if it's a big issue to him, it either ends there or it's OK. If a guy really likes a girl for who she is, it shouldn't matter so much unless it's just repulsive to him. I realize that by having my breast enhanced, I probably cut out about 28% of guys from my dating field (I saw a poll on this) who absolutely will not date a girl who has this done. However, I don't have raisin's for boobs anymore =o) So that 28% can just go... (My guy may or may not be in this 28%)

Martinizing2 - You seem like a very open minded understanding guy. And that's the kind of guy I am looking for. If he is going to hold it against me, we obviously have completely different ways of thinking anyway.

PositiveParent - That is hilarious, it made me smile. "I HATE hate fake boobs, omg they are such a turn off!!" "I HAVE FAKE BOOBS!!" I bet at first he wouldn't believe me.

Cat1864 - you give good advice. That's what I'm trying to do, trying to figure out if it is worth telling him or not. I'm thinking, 'now is this going somewhere in the long run or not'. I'm still trying to figure it out, if it weren't for the boobs I'd probably want to date him a little longer. However, I wanted to post on here because this is the first guy I've dated since I've had this surgery and I don't really know how to handle that. Also, I think if I leave this guy I may find myself in this situation again later.

For future reference, when is the right time to tell a guy something like that?

Redhead 35- I think about like you do on that subject. Breast enhancement is something you do to look good, like makeup or high heels. I did it because it makes me look and feel good, confidence. It's no secret that more attractive women get better jobs. I even notice a difference in how people treat me.

KP 2171 - I do have a lot more confidence now that I can take my shirt off and guys is going to say "wow, you got a nice rack, you look amazing" No one would have said that before. And the only difference I see is that my breast are a little more firm and look beautiful.
About not being permanent, I think mine are. I just had mine done Dec 2009, 275cc silicone. My doctor said they are supposed to last for life. (I believe saline implants, do need replacing after so many years.) Although, I think when I get older I may need a breast lift. When my skin starts to sag, my implants, which are placed under the muscle, will stay in the same place.
Anyway, it's nice to hear a guy with an opinion like yours.
Getting breast implants is part of who I am.

Just_another_Lemming - I think that's some good advice for this particular situation. Although I had to get some input on this situation whether he's the right guy or not. Askmehelp desk = great place to get advice on sensitive subjects you can't discuss with anyone else! I'm planning to have a long talk with him in the very near future so this won't eat away at me anymore. I mean, I halfway want to tell him to see how he reacts for curiosity sake, and then, the fewer people that know, the better. Also, for right now, I do enjoy his company. But I know how it is, get in a long relationship, end it, and then it's 6 more months till I'm even OK again =o/

I'll have to post on here and let you all know how this one plays out.

Firstly OP I think you should stop referring to your enhancements as fakes, they're not fake you said yourself they're augmented, therefore they're real, all you've had done is to help natures attributes to be more in the spotlight.

I would just come out with it, but when you tell him tell him they're not fakes, like those pistol shots, Sylvester Stallones wife had, now that's mainly the type of cosmetic surgery and boob enlarging that most of the guys who don't like them are referring to, they're obviously, pump ups.

Mother Nature gave you what you have its just that it was after a long busy weekend, so she didn't have time to finish them off but knowing how capable of doing this yourself she left that bit to you.

Hes no doubt enjoyed them for this long, and hasn't noticed anything to let him think they're enhanced, so if you're so worried say nothing, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, after all how is he ever going to find out? He won't unless you tell him, its not that you're lying to him, he hasn't asked so you haven't told him.

Im all in agreement of there being honesty in a relationship but why do you have to tell him about this you had them done before you met him, and he hasn't noticed. Let it be.

If you do decide to tell him, tell him he's had the exclusive so far, he should be honoured. I don't think you need to divulge this to him, he's enjoyed them so far so what's he got to complain about, they're yours you chose to have them done, it was before him.

What you tell anyone and when you tell them is up to you and how you feel.

I get the impression that you prefer to be honest in your dealings with other people. Does withholding this from him make you feel like you are not being true to your own standards and beliefs?

I am concerned that you are allowing his possible reaction to damage the confidence that having the enhancement done gave you.

Dating someone should feel good not like you are waiting to be 'caught' withholding information.

This kind of reminds me of brussle sprouts.

You couldn't have paid me enough to eat a brussel sprout. Nothing could convince me that they were delicious.

Until I tried one. I LOVE brussel sprouts now.

Perhaps this is a similar situation when you boil it all down. He hates what he 'thinks' he hates, not knowing any better, until he realizes just how good it is, after he has had it.

Now that you know he loves your boobs, and you are happy with your boobs, tell him. If he feels that you betrayed him by not telling him, simply tell him it is none of his business anyway.

If he feels the need to blab, deny deny deny. Nobody has to have a confirmation as to the authenticity of your cleavage, no more than confirmation of a little botox, or liposuction on the hips.

Remember too that, while this really is not an issue in the overall scope of things, you may wish to remind him that many brave women have had reconstructive surgery after cancer surgery, and would he be so stubbornly disgusted if he happened to fall in love with such a woman?

If something so minor brings out so much judgment, I'd send him packing along with a business card to the nearest penis enlargement clinic... just sayin'...

So here's what happened:

First I just ran some random questions by him one day while eating dinner at some Italian place. "So, would you ever date a stripper? .... What about a girl who has had a boob job?" His answer was just "no". And I said, "not ever?" Then he says, "Well, maybe, if it just a small one and it depends on the girl."

So finally about a week later we were a lone in my room and I asked him, "would you still date me if I had a boob job?" He gives me this strange look and says, "Why do you ask me all these weird questions? Your boobs are real... aren't they?" I just said, "you didn't answer my question..." He says in a sincere voice, "of course I'd still date you. See the thing with boob jobs is I prefer real ones...but wait a minute, yours can't be fake, I've felt of them, wouldn't you have some sack under there or something?" He looks at me and I don't say anything, I'm just staring back at him with a mischievous smirk. He continues, "If that is a boob job that is a damn good boob job. let me see, I want to check for scars..." And I'm laughing inside because I know I can just barely see those scares and only under bright light and because I know where to look. So he checks (of course in the wrong place). "No scars, they're real. You are really strange sometime."

He just wrote it off as another one of my weird moments and decided that my breast had not been altered. I will just let him think they are real.

I just wanted to know if it would ultimately make a difference to him or not. And it doesn't really matter.

Better tell him now, what if two years latter, a kid and it is a "BIG DEAL" for real and he finds out.

Are there any small scare lines that are visible naked?