Ask Me Help Desk - Anal Sex

Anal Sex

My boyfriend loves anal sex with me, I am not quite the same. SOMETIMES I am in the mood for it, but usually I just want to have vaginal sex.
Does anyone here like anal sex or no??
Any tips on enjoying it more?!
I really want to do it more because my boyfriend LOVES it.

Well, my husband is obsessed with anal sex. He says I have god's most perfect . Anyway, he is always pestering me to have it with him. We have been together for almost 5 years and I have only done it twice. I HATED IT! I just couldn't tolerate the pain (he has a big one!) He knows that when I do do it I do it for him alone. And he only gets it on the RARE occasion. Anyway, my advice is just tell him that you do like it... but you have to be in the mood. My guess is, he will understand. As long as he's still having sex with you in ANY way, he will be happy. Good luck, get back and let me know how the conversation went.

I really don't like anal sex. I've tried it once, for me it was too painful to want to try again. However I know a lot of people who really enjoy it. Don't feel weird if you don't like it, my boyfriend wants me to do it again but I tell him no and he understands why. Lol.

I don't like the whole idea of it , it grosses me out, I have to be drunk to do it. But I feel if I say NO to it all the time , I won't be satifistying him totally and he would want to leave me for someone who will. He LOVES anal sex.

Oh so he needs to have anal sex?? Well then you guys have to find some kind of happy medium. You shouldn't feel forced to do something you don't want to. And if he doesn't leave you for someone because you didn't want to have anal sex, then he wasn't worth your time in the first place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by statesgirl

i dont like the whole idea of it , it grosses me out, i have to be drunk to do it. But i feel if i say NO to it all the time , i wont be satifistying him totally and he would want to leave me for someone who will. He LOVES anal sex.

Does he satisfy you totally all the time?

In a healthy relationship a person shouldn't have to do something they don't want to do or doesn't like doing.

I am of the opinion that if you don't like it you should tell him so. If you fear that he will leave you for a woman that does like it then I guess you will know that he never really loved you.

How about suggesting anal sex with him receiving it next time... perhaps he may understand your "discomfort" a lttle better.

My husband likes anal sex too but I don't like it very much because of the pain... if you have a good lube it is A lot better... try a lube with it and only let him go in a little bit at a time until he can go all the way in you... good luck!

A good lube will definitely go a LONG way. We use Ky Warming Sensation jelly, whether anal or vaginal... but even though I don't like anal, and I've only done it a few times... the times I have done it the warming jelly makes it feel kind of good. Lol

Why not ask him if he'd like anal penetration and see what he says?

Read 3 posts above...

Sounds good, does the warming lube ever get like TOO warm and burn? Lol

I don't like Anal sex its too uncomfortable it kind of hurts but I think my boyfriends really enjoys it

Quote:

Originally Posted by statesgirl

My boyfriend loves anal sex with me, I am not quite the same. SOMETIMES I am in the mood for it, but usually I just want to have vaginal sex.
Does anyone here like anal sex or no????
Any tips on enjoying it more?!?!?
I really want to do it more because my boyfriend LOVES it.

Honey he is just your boy friend. I would not be doing anything I'm not comfortable with or try to make myself like something I'm not thrilled about just because he likes it.
This is your body, your butt that's being stretched.
When you are not in the mood, don't do it.
He LOVES it, but does he love and respect your wishes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by statesgirl

i dont like the whole idea of it , it grosses me out, i have to be drunk to do it. But i feel if i say NO to it all the time , i wont be satifistying him totally and he would want to leave me for someone who will. He LOVES anal sex.

Girl if he'd leave you because you wouldn't have anal sex with him, knowing you don't like it, he's a creep and you don't need him to begin with.
Girls, this is your body these boys want to mess with. Don't go through pain and doing things you don't like to keep a boy who will probably not be your boyfriend next year. If you don't respect your body, they won't.

I've done it before and once I liked it and if I just say NO now he will be upset. I don't mind doing it I just hate the first like 3minutes

Girl if you say No! And he gets mad, that's too bad. Why should you subject your body to something that is uncomforable? It's not like anal is the only way to have sex.
How old are you and your boy friend?

I am 18 and he's 19

I used to like it till I was hurt for three days from doing it. Now if anyone’s coming in the back door they are literally going to have to sneak in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by states girl

i am 18 and hes 19

Oh girl you are too young to be starting this habit of giving in to make him feel good. He is a 19 year old boy and can get off with a piece of liver, he does not need to abuse your anus.
Don't allow him to abuse your body, he does not have the right and your body belongs to you. Don't start the habit of giving in to things just to please a guy. If he cares more for you than he does your butt hole, he'll accept No! If he doesn't, he is not worth your time or your body.
Like I said chances are he will not even be around a year from now, and you're left stretched out. I'd tell him to go screw somebody else's behind.
There are other boys out there that are not into anal sex and if they are they know what No! Means and respects it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonewilder

I used to like it till I was hurt for three days from doing it. Now if anyone’s coming in the back door they are literally going to have to sneak in.

That is not what it was made for.

Anal sex is so unnatural. Your anus is meant for exiting and not entering. Some people enjoy it but if you don't why should you be forced or even made to feel guilty (which is what I know he's probably doing to you). U can really mess yourself up with that and that is a reality. The reason he probably enjoys it so much because it is tight and eventually with enough anal sex it won't be like that anymore. Your anus does not have that much elasticity to sustain that kind of treatment. Why do you think that your anus is not naturally lubricated? But your mouth and vagina are. If he is persistent with doing it make him a deal you find a dildo that matches the size of his penis and use it for anal sex with him and if he can agree to that every time he wants it get rid of him because he's homosexual just like I suspected.

^^^^
That, or he has no respect for you or your body.
I think you need to lose him anyway.
This is your body girls, don't let these young sex crazed boys abuse it. You deserve better.

She has to dump her boyfriend only because the poor sod enjoys anal sex? Riight...

First of all, the original question didn't really invite people to doubt the morality of anal sex. She was just asking for tips to enjoy it more.

There's nothing wrong with giving in to your partner's desires as long as it doesn't make you feel uncomfotable. She did say she was in the mood for it 'sometimes'. OK, suppose she doesn't get much pleasure from it. But does her boyfriend get much physical pleasure from giving her oral sex? I mean, both partners have to be giving, otherwise sex would suck.

In any case, there's lots of people out there who enjoy anal sex. Using lots of libe, going slowly, and with lots of foreplay, you might come to enjoy it too. If you don't really, but still don't mind indulging him from time to time, tell him about your preferences and do it less often. Make him realise it's a special treat. If you absolutely hate it, then just don't do it ever again.

As for the 'dumping' question... saying "you're not getting that ever again" might get him thinking. Saying "i don't really enjoy it much, how about we do it less often and focus on other things instead?" will hardly threaten your relationship.

I agree to a certain extent, but it is unfair to compare giving oral sex to taking anal sex which is painful. He is not in pain when giving her oral, but I understand what you mean, kirriky.

I tried anal with my wife a few months back and couldn't continue because I didn't enjoy seeing someone I love in pain rather than pleasure. Explain how much it hurts you and as previously said, tell him you like to experiment with putting something inside his anal, I'm sure he'll soon change his mind!

I believe that the anal is there so our toxin can come out of our system. It is porn who had introduce this type of sexual position where us woman have to suffer in some way because it is not pleansante for us! In the porn industry, they had to find new ways of entertaining the viewers. I myself did it 3 times and I don't consider doing it again. It wasn't painful for me because the only way to have pleasure with this is to relax as much as possible and have a patient pattern who will do it gently and slowly! There is a video which the porn industry did on how to do anal sex and it's very interresting! I believe all man should watch it because there's a way of doing it and be able to satisfy the woman at the same time! Anyhow, if you really don't want to do it then just don't. I told my boyfriend if you want to do it then I'm going to have to do it to you as well with a dildo so you can actually know how and what the feeling of it after it!
Best of luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirriky

she has to dump her bf only because the poor sod enjoys anal sex? riight...

first of all, the original question didn't really invite ppl to doubt the morality of anal sex. she was just asking for tips to enjoy it more.

there's nothing wrong with giving in to your partner's desires as long as it doesnt make you feel uncomfotable. she did say she was in the mood for it 'sometimes'. ok, suppose she doesn't get much pleasure from it. but does her bf get much physical pleasure from giving her oral sex? i mean, both partners have to be giving, otherwise sex would suck.

in any case, there's lots of ppl out there who enjoy anal sex. using lots of libe, going slowly, and with lots of foreplay, you might come to enjoy it too. if you don't really, but still don't mind indulging him from time to time, tell him about your preferences and do it less often. make him realise it's a special treat. if you absolutely hate it, then just don't do it ever again.

as for the 'dumping' question... saying "you're not getting that ever again" might get him thinking. saying "i don't really enjoy it much, how about we do it less often and focus on other things instead?" will hardly threaten your relationship.

While I agree with you to a point, we are not talking about adults in a loving relationship, these are basically kids. An 18 year old girl and a 19 year old boy who probably have not been dating all the long. This is about pleasure for this boy and I don't think young girls ought to get into the habit of doing things they feel uncomfortable with because they are worried the boy may leave them, and that includes any kind of sex.
"he'll get mad if I don't" This is not the kind of guy you want to be stretching your butt hole for.

Hello:

People, people, people. You make such assumptions... I guess everybody does about sex.

But, here's the truth: Anal sex, if done right, doesn't hurt a bit - NOT A BIT. As a matter of fact, if feels REAL good - and I mean REAL good.

Of course, if you're not interested - DON'T DO IT!! But, there are those who ARE, and because YOU don't like it, doesn't mean it ain't great. Cause it IS great. How do I know it's so great when I'm not on the receiving end?? Well, when your chick is squealing and panting, and coming her brains out, and begging for it, I can tell.

Ok, so when I say "right", I mean RIGHT. The guy can't just plow his way in. Just like he can't plow his way in to any other entrance. There is a technique. It involves a lot of kissing, licking and using your fingers.

If that bothers some of you, then YOU shouldn't do it.

excon

Have you been on the receiving end?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Have you been on the recieving end?

Hello Home:

I figured with my name, somebody would bring that up. I said above that I haven't been, and that's true.

But, there's more to the story. I'm not a homosexual. I'm not interested in some dude corn holing me. I DO however, along with my lady, have a very sensitive and erogenous anus. I LOVE it when she licks me. I love it when she uses her fingers during vaginal sex.

However, we've never gone further than that. Chalk it up to whatever you want to chalk it up to. But, in the right circumstance, with the right girl, I think I could enjoy getting screwed by her strap on.

excon

I was not refereing to your name nor was I questioning your sexual experiences. My point was until you have had an erected penis up your behind, how can you tell a female, "it does not hurt a bit"

I think that you could probably tell by now that I'm a woman--but just in case--I'm DEFINITELY a woman.

I like anal sex. I used to not--but then I found out that it was my partner that was the problem, not me.

Now that I've had partners that know how to do it right, there's no WAY I would leave anal sex out of our repetoire. Because--when it's done right--it is JUST as pleasurable as vaginal sex.

However--to cover Homegirl's point too--at 18, you shouldn't have to do anything you don't like just to make a guy happy. Screw that (or don't, in this case). There are better uses for your time and energy. If you WANT to do it, to make him happy, that's different. Use a LOT of lube, take your time, start with fingers, and go slow. I find that a lot of playing with the nipples and clitorus (basically a lot of foreplay) makes it fun, and believe it or not, I'm usually asking for it by the time it happens.

"pain" is interpreted differently in different situations by different people. For ex, hit a guy in the sack while he's walking along and you "rack" him... hurts like hell. But during sex the same stimulation is interpreted as pleasure... one of the reasons guys like coming from behind. Sounds silly, but when the "boys" slap against the woman that same "pain" is now pleasure. Its all in the mindset. Likewise, nipple stimulation, at the right time, in the right mindset can send a woman over the top. Do it at the wrong time and my parter will smack you upside the head.

As for anal sex, I've been with women who were at the extremes. One who loved it (when done "properly") and one who wouldn't ever do it, and most in the ive-tried-it-and-dont-like-it category.

The one who enjoyed it self stimulated while received anal, and as long as she could physically and mentally relax, especially in the first few minutes, she was fine.

I think a guys wanting it is common. I think a woman's not wanting it is common. And like any sexual practice, you shouldn't do what you are uncomfortable with. And like any sexual practice, education about what can make it better and safer is key.

Trauma to the anus can be real... those who enjoy anal sex attempt to avoid this my going slow and making sure the woman is mentally and physically able to relax the muscles. Women who aren't prepared mentally are perhaps unlikely and unable to have safe, painless anal sex.

One primary medical study I read cited that there was, in this study, a measurable difference in the strength of rectal contraction among persons who received anal sex versus those who did not. Key is, they found statistical evidence to say, yes, anal sex can lead to fecal incontenance in persons engaged in anal sex... but it didn't lead to it in all persons engaged... that there were persons who were receiving anal sex who also had just as strong contractions as those who didn't and who had no issues.

Childbirth, for ex, can commonly do a lot of damage to the muscle wall, and incontinence from this isn't uncommon.

So... like I said, his wanting it isn't uncommon, your not wanting it isn't uncommon. I consider this one of those areas where isn't a lot of middle ground. If you aren't interested and aren't comfortable, it probably isn't for you and that's that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miszulaki

I believe that the anal is there so our toxin can come out of our system. It is porn who had introduce this type of sexual position where us woman have to suffer in some way because it is not pleansante for us! In the porn industry, they had to find new ways of entertaining the viewers. I myself did it 3 times and i dont consider doing it again. It wasnt painful for me because the only way to have pleasure with this is to relax as much as possible and have a patient pattern who will do it gently and slowly! There is a video which the porn industry did on how to do anal sex and it's very interresting! I believe all man should watch it because there's a way of doing it and be able to satisfy the woman at the same time! Anyhow, if you really dont want to do it then just dont. I told my boyfriend if you want to do it then im gonna have to do it to you as well with a dildo so you can actually know how and what the feeling of it after it!
Best of luck!

I assure you that the act of heterosexual anal sex has been around way before the introduction of porn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xrayman

How about suggesting anal sex with him receiving it next time...perhaps he may understand your "discomfort" a lttle better.

I disagree strangely. This is a sure fire way to offend 95% of straight men. "responding to the u try it approach

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljb_brown

I disagree strangely. This is a sure fire way to offend 95% of straight men. "responding to the u try it approach

I don't know why they'd be offended, they don't seem to have problem going through the back door with her.
I don't want no man telling me it won't hurt or will feel good unless he has been screwed himself. But no matter either way, it's not happening with me.

You probably already know this, but keep plenty of lube on hand and make him reach around for some clitoral stimulation. That's what the woman I've been with made me do.