Hey

I've been with my partner for over a month and all we seem to do is spend time in her bedroom cuddling. But I want more.

I want to tell her she isn't satisfying my needs as a man and that I need relief otherwise I really get stressed!

In fact, I noticed when she has (on the odd occasion) given me relief that straight after I felt much more comfortable and actually started talking to her loads and wanted to do more for her!

I don't know how to approach the issue delicately without her thinking I'm a sex freak and just like every other guy.

Oh and by the way... she doesn't seem bothered about me giving her relief. In fact whenever I try she usually just lays there like a limp dead dog until I ask if I should stop and she says she has a headache or stomach ache or something :S
... But once she has said it felt absolutely amazing and told me I was doing everything right and it felt like she just needed to "explode" but couldn't. Says she thinks she's never had an orgasm.

Am I just useless in the bedroom? I know she's had abit of experience but doesn't look like it because she doesn't "use" it!

Don't force the girl into doing stuff until she wants to. If she feels pressured into doing something, she's definitely not going to enjoy it. You can talk to her about the situation, tell her how you feel without coming across as a horny sex freak lol, but listen to what she has to say about it. You're just going to have to wait until she wants to get more intimate or move on to someone else. If you decide to stay with her, in order to get "relief", that's just something your going to have to resolve on your own lol.
Good luck! =P

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Originally Posted by mwilliams15

Don't force the girl into doing stuff until she wants to. If she feels pressured into doing something, shes definitely not going to enjoy it. You can talk to her about the situation, tell her how you feel without coming across as a horny sex freak lol, but listen to what she has to say about it. You're just going to have to wait until she wants to get more intimate or move on to someone else. If you decide to stay with her, in order to get "relief", thats just something your going to have to resolve on your own lol.
Good luck! =P

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No I'm definitely not staying with her just so she can give me relief... but for me I do need a healthy sex life in my relationships.

I haven't forced her to do anything in the bedroom at all! That's the point I don't force her to do anything... I want her to tell me when she's ready but I don't think she ever would since she's pretty shy and we have never really talked about anything sexually, and she kind of gets shy if I bring anything like that up.

The other day we sat on her bed playing hangman and squares. I love hangman and squares... but not so much when I've been ready to explode in my boxers all damn day long! ;)

Haha.. well.. the more you talk about it, the less shy she'll become. Just continue doing what your doing (being open with her) and maybe she'll come around to wanting to do more. Other than that I don't know what to tell you.. As long as you aren't rushing her and you're telling her how you feel about it, you're doing the right thing... so just hang in there lol.

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Originally Posted by mwilliams15

haha.. well.. the more you talk about it, the less shy she'll become. Just continue doing what your doing (being open with her) and maybe she'll come around to wanting to do more. Other than that I don't know what to tell ya.. As long as you aren't rushing her and you're telling her how you feel about it, you're doing the right thing... so just hang in there lol.

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Well another thing is that I don't want her to get too "comfortable" with just hugging on the bed and nothing more. Also, I don't want her to think I'm boring in the bedroom because to her it must appear like that's all I want to do... but I don't see how she could think that really because its mostly me that goes to kiss her, and do other things...

Excuse me? ONE MONTH, and you're expecting sex? You ARE a horn dog like every other guy!

How old are you, anyway?

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Excuse me? ONE MONTH, and you're expecting sex? You ARE a horn dog like every other guy!

How old are you, anyway?

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Well... It's not actual sex that I want... but anything that will give relief. In fact, with my ex we didn't have sex for about a year because I respected that she didn't want to, but we still did other things and I was content with that!

Oh and guess I am a horny dog... I am 20 after all! ;D

Geesh... Tough crowd. I get frustrated not having sex in the first 2 dates. Anyway you need to continue to communicate with her and find out where she stands, and be sure to find out what makes you both sexually compatible. It's not forcing anything if you only want to communicate your desires to her and see what she wants from you. A month is a long time when you are 20.

Rule number 1) Never take advise from women when it comes to relationships. It seems like she has conditioned you like Pavlov (You know, the scientist who trained dogs to salivate on command). She has become keen to the way you act. You are too predictable in other words. Hellooooo... women love the unknown, mystery, and a challenge. She holding back on you because she knows that she can get the most out of you when you get some, and I bet the longer she waits the more intense your reaction toward her is when you do get some, right? Here's what you should do. While in bed with her don't give her any signs that you want anything. Be cool, relaxed, and content that you are just there laying in bed. Don't act like the horny dogs that the women who have responded to your post have called you. Act like what she is doing does not affect you. Come on buddy, she's a grown women and I'm sure she knows that what she's doing is wrong. She's doing it because you are allowing it to happen. When you do get some, don't be super nice and talkative. Women hate wussy men. Don't talk her and don't change who you are for her. You need to keep her off balance. If I was in your shoes, the next time I got some I would make up some story about having to be somewhere or having to do something. Just make sure you don't tell her this before you get any. The reason: She's expecting you to be her bit*h after sex. Flip it on her. Either tell her she has to leave or you leave. If you guys live together than you leave and if she calls you wondering where you're at, don't pick up the call. Wait one or two hours then return the call but make sure you are vague about your answer (remember... mystery). I know this sounds like a game but you also have to keep in mind that women love games. It's the same reason why women love drama. Drama is a game to them and games bring excitement which is something that seems to be missing from your bedroom. Last but not least... you're the man. You need to run sh*t. Women love a man that can lead and right now she is leading your a*s anywhere she wants.

Just one more thing: You have all the right to be a horn dog. Just make sure you protect yourself and do it right. Your 20 so don't let some women whose sex drive peak when they are 40 get to you. I'm 23 and yes, I am a horn dog... hahahaha

That's HORRIBLE advice!

Look... if she doesn't want to do anything sexual after ONLY a month--that's her prerogative. You have a hand, right? Frankly, it's YOUR problem, not hers.

Kissing and cuddling is about where you should be at after a month together.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to do anything just for you, either. It doesn't sound like you're making it about HER, really. Have you offered to get HER off, with nothing in it for yourself? That's what you're asking her for, after all.

If you want a serious relationship with this girl, believe me, making sure the cuddling and the talking are there BEFORE the sex is really important.

Sorry any woman with any shred of self esteem, self respect or self love is not going to dive into a sexual relationship with a stranger. After a month you know NOTHING about each other and have barely established a relationship let alone hollowed out an opening for her to give you oral sex. If that's all you want then pay for it instead of trying to use this girl.

We should get this guy and thoughtiwastheman to post these opinions up on the threads where a 13 year old thinks her 20 year old boyfriend just likes her for the conversation!

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Originally Posted by Synnen

That's HORRIBLE advice!

Look...if she doesn't want to do anything sexual after ONLY a month--that's her perogative. You have a hand, right? Frankly, it's YOUR problem, not hers.

Kissing and cuddling is about where you should be at after a month together.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to do anything just for you, either. It doesn't sound like you're making it about HER, really. Have you offered to get HER off, with nothing in it for yourself? That's what you're asking her for, after all.

If you want a serious relationship with this girl, believe me, making sure the cuddling and the talking are there BEFORE the sex is really important.

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I'm not sure why you are so hostile about this? You have completely misunderstood almost the whole situation and are escalating this into making it look like I'm a heartless bully who doesn't care about her feelings. Your pointing all the fingers at me.

And yes I have tried to get her off. She said I was doing everything right and it felt like she needed to explode. But most of the time when I try she says she has a stomach ache of headache which is fine, but seems she has a headache pretty much all the time.

I would NEVER force her into anything... that's just not who I am. :)

But its very frustrating when she's just rubbing around your crotch, over your jeans, and doesn't go the full way because says she doesn't want the mess. Imagine almost wanting to explode then just being left... It's extremely frustating and leaves me feeling stressed.

Can no man relate to this? I know its hard for girls to understand what its like to have around 20 times greater testosterone levels ;)

Oh brother

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Originally Posted by aaii

And yes I have tried to get her off. She said I was doing everything right and it felt like she needed to explode. But most of the time when I try she says she has a stomach ache of headache which is fine, but seems she has a headache pretty much all the time.

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Her lack of response is telling you that she doesn't really want a sexual relationship with you, at least not yet. If you can't wait a month, you're in too much of a hurry. Being a lusty 20-year old guy is hard (no pun intended).

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Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

Her lack of response is telling you that she doesn't really want a sexual relationship with you, at least not yet. If you can't wait a month, you're in too much of a hurry. Being a lusty 20-year old guy is hard (no pun intended).

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Haha yeah it is! I think a lot of people, particularly girls, have really misunderstood me in this thread, so allow me to clarify myself.

I am in no way forcing her to do anything. If you look at the subject name its how to tell her I want sex... not forcing anything! I want to communicate with her that I would like to have a sexual relationship, but do it in a way that makes her not think all I want her for is sex, because that just simply isn't true. I love her for who she is and if she says to me she doesn't want anything too involved (sexually) right now I would 100% respect that.

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Originally Posted by aaii

If you look at the subject name its how to tell her I want sex... not forcing anything! I want to communicate with her that I would like to have a sexual relationship, but do it in a way that makes her not think all I want her for is sex, because that just simply isn't true. I love her for who she is and if she says to me she doesn't want anything too involved (sexually) right now I would 100% respect that.

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I'm sure she already knows that you want sex, so how to tell her that isn't really the issue. Your real question is how to make HER want sex. Well, you can't, and she's already told you, by her lack of sexual response, that "she doesn't want anything too involved (sexually) right now". So you can start to "100% respect that" immediately, without telling her anything about what you want.

Here is the truth. If you don't know how to ask for what you want then you are NOT ready for a sexual relationship with this woman.

Also PLEASE read the forum rules on assigning agrees and disagrees.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

You should read the rules before blindly assigning negative feedback to people just because YOU don't like what people have to say.

EDIT

Also I said that if all you want is oral sex then PAY FOR IT meaning hire a hooker NOT ask your girlfriend for money. Read the answers FIRST then respond. If you have something else to add then create a new answer NOT assign disagrees.

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Here is the truth. If you don't know how to ask for what you want then you are NOT ready for a sexual relationship with this woman.

Also PLEASE read the forum rules on assigning agrees and disagrees.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

You should read the rules before blindly assigning negative feedback to people just because YOU don't like what people have to say.

EDIT

Also I said that if all you want is oral sex then PAY FOR IT meaning hire a hooker NOT ask your girlfriend for money. Read the answers FIRST then respond. If you have something else to add then create a new answer NOT assign disagrees.

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Thanks for pointing this to my attention but I think your original post didn't help in the slightest, so I'm not going to agree with it, right?

Telling me to go pay a hooker for sex isn't constructive advice.