Ask Me Help Desk - How to tell her I want sex?

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CornDog disagrees: "You ARE a horn dog like every other guy!", Some how I don't think that's helpful, In fact its just sexiest..
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I was quoting his original question, CornDog. I certainly don't think that all guys are ANYTHING, any more than I think that all women have the same attributes.

Good to know I'm sexiest, though. Much better than being sexist, which is probably what you really were accusing me of.

Thanks for the red dot, though. At least I know people are READING all of the answers given, before just posting an answer to the original post.

I have set here and read all of this and it is mind blowing with all that has been said here. Listen you are young and so is the relationship. Your girl sounds to me to be a lot like most girls. A lot of girls don't think they can start sex , talk about it or act like they want it. With her saying she doesn't feel good and saying this to you all the time. Would be telling me that she isn't wanting to go all the way yet. I don't believe it is anything you are doing wrong. She just isn't ready. Now about her rubbing you or more less teasing you. We can look at this in a lot of ways. Girls love to tease in the first place, we also love the control we have over men. I can keep listing a lot more but you get the point. If I was a man and I was being done this way. I wouldn't let things get to the point that I was so turned on by her that I would become stressed. Talk to her about this. If you two love each other you should be able to set down and talk about anything. I hear what you are saying about not wanting her to think that all you want is sex. But come on. You are young and this is normal. Why not tell her what you are saying to everyone else on here. If you say it the right way and at the right time she will understand. You have gotten a lot of feed back on this, some good and some not so good. But you can take from each one and learn from it.good and bad. So just take your time with her. Avoid the times that you two have the chance for her to get you horny. Life will guide you both and it will happen if it is meant to happen.

Hey Dude First Of All I Had The Same Problem With My Girlfriend Of Almost A Year. We Are Both Still Virgins But Still Fool Around Which Is All I Need. Your Own Hand Isn't The Same I Know And It Kind Of Feels Like A Disrespect To Her When You Use It. And I Love Pleasuring Her No Matter What I Get Out Of It. But Anyway We Sat Down And Talked About It And She Understood Me Completely. We Made A Compromise Where We Fool Around More Often And I Take Her On MOre Romantic Dates. And That Girl Who Knows Your Name Might Be Her You never Know Or It Might Be Your Mom So Make Mamma Proud!:D

I like going back to my posts to see what I had written or missed to write, and I realized that I should have asked a few questions to the people who disagreed with my answer. Hey Kadehadaire, don't YOU think that aaii is being treated like a dog or a toy? I certainly think he is and that is why he needs to do something drastic. If the relationship is driven into dust then, guess what? Good. If the relationship is driven into dust she obviously wanted someone to control and since she couldn't get what she wanted, for her everything else would have to be destroyed, right? Aren't relationships about compromising? Hey AAII, guess what? She is not compromising with you. Secondly, how can you (aaii) say that what I have put forward to you as a plan to take control and get what you want out of the relationship is a bad idea if you turn around and say that she has you wrapped around her fingers? It doesn't make sense. You know, I was talking to a buddy of mine recently and for some weird reason we ended up talking about why some people kill themselves or do really stupid things after one partner decides to leave a relationship. We both came to the conclusion that these type of people have such low self esteem that when they finally end up with someone and get involved with them, that they cannot imagine being without them because it was hard for them to get anyone to be with them in the first place. More was obviously said on this topic between my friend and I but I sort of get the impression that you can't see yourself with anyone else besides this woman. All I have to say is that if you get a "pair," that she will like you more and give you what you want if you respect yourself. I know it's a scary thought to break away from what may seem normal, but you have to make the changes within yourself if you want her to change too. This is so cliché but, remember what I said about compromising? She will compromise with the changes you make if she truly loves you. Just wondering, are you guys still together? If so, are things still the same or have things gotten better? Or has it gotten worse? Get back at me on this one, will you? Thanks

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlexJ24

Hey Dude First Of All i Had The Same Problem With My Girlfriend Of Almost A Year. We Are Both Still Virgins But Still Fool Around Which Is All i Need. Your Own Hand Isnt The Same i Know And It Kind Of Feels Like A Disrespect To Her When You Use It. And I Love Pleasuring Her No Matter What I Get Out Of It. But Anyway We Sat Down And Talked About It And She Understood Me Completly. We Made A Compromise Where We Fool Around More Often And i Take Her On MOre Romantic Dates. And That Girl Who Knows Your Name Might Be Her You never Know Or It Might Be Your Mom So Make Mamma Proud!:D

You take her on more romantic dates? Man, how this upsets me. I always wonder why guys overdo the whole romantic thing to get what they want. Don't you know that women like having fun and being excited than doing the candle light dinner in a quiet restaurant with someone constantly coming by to ask if, "everything is okay?" I'm not saying that that is bad but such things should be for super or really important events, not because a woman compromised with your sexual needs. I've discovered that by treating a woman that I am interested in like a buddy of mine that she will like me more. Go shoot some pool, let her hang out with your friends, go lase tagging, workout together, go for a walk, rent a movie and stay home, cook a meal together, go bowling (and talk trash to her the entire time your beating her) etc. that these type of things are more appreciated by women. In fact I hate to take a woman to a restaurant because it is sooooo boring. I'm not saying that that is what you do, but I will admit that you need to stop doing romantic cliché things. Forget all that, she should be compromising with you because you are that fun, exciting, adventurous guy... not the other way around. Since all these "romantic things" that you've been doing, have you gotten any?

After reading this and your other post, I have to go with my original advice and that was communicate. At 20 I was a horney guy to but if a relationship is to work well you must know each other well. You've known each other for 5 years, 15 years old as kids, now your into adult territory, so do adult fun things, as the previous poster has suggested, and showing your love, patient, and fun side is where your at now. Dude you have to do a lot more than just cuddle on the bed, and I suggest you stay out of the bedroom, and get more in the public, and find out what she enjoys, and where she enjoys being. See her in another light and give her time and leave the sex for when your both ready. You may need relief, but don't expect it from her soon. Show her a good time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aaii

Hey

I've been with my partner for over a month and all we seem to do is spend time in her bedroom cuddling. But I want more.

I want to tell her she isn't satisfying my needs as a man and that I need relief otherwise I really get stressed!!

In fact, I noticed when she has (on the odd occasion) given me relief that straight after I felt much more comfortable and actually started talking to her loads and wanted to do more for her!

I don't know how to approach the issue delicately without her thinking I'm a sex freak and just like every other guy.

Oh and by the way... she doesn't seem bothered about me giving her relief. In fact whenever I try she usually just lays there like a limp dead dog until I ask if I should stop and she says she has a headache or stomache ache or something :S
... But once she has said it felt absolutely amazing and told me I was doing everything right and it felt like she just needed to "explode" but couldn't. Says she thinks shes never had an orgasm.

Am I just useless in the bedroom? I know shes had abit of experience but doesn't look like it cos she doesn't "use" it!

Make her a romantic candle light dinner with the door locked the phone off and a sweet aroma in the air, make her food and listen to music, then give her a slice of sara lee chocolate ghetto cake and then take her to the living rom and stat to watch a love story cuddle her throughout the movie then walk her to her door, make sure you pick a day when everyone is out then as you get to her doorstep kiss her, she should invite you in as soon as you get in snog het and genually start to take her top off and take your shoes off, after that its up to you... this always works

I deff agree with acting like you don't care because I know my girlfriend reacts a lot more when I act like I don't care what she is doing