This is my worst fear. My sister is 14 and I see older guys looking at her all the time. Honey, the reason this guy is going to be in trouble is because what he did was wrong. I don't believe for a second he did not know how old you are. I could tell your age from your post! A guy who is 20 should not be hanging around 15 year old girls. Its not normal and a guy who is twenty and sleeping with a 15 year old girl is doing so because he can't meet girls his own age. This should be a big warning to you. I do understand that a young girl will want to be with older guys because we all thought we were so mature at that age, so this is not your fault. I admit I was 15 when I met my first boyfriend and he was 17, but I was almost 16 and we waited 8 months to have sex and it was everything it was meant to be. I was old enough to discuss contraception and stay over night regularly and we were together for years. This is different, a quick fumble is such a seedy situation is him taking advantage of you. You may not have said no but he obviously didn't ask you if this was something you wanted and were ready for, did he? You should not lie for him, he needs to face the consequences of what he has done. He is old enough to know what he was doing was wrong. He won't go to prison for just touching you but he will learn not to do things like this again and your friends family will know not to leave him alone with you. Why was he there by the way? He wasn't your friends brother or relative was he?
As for your attitude about you not thinking he should pay the price for not raping you, I find this scary! Not raping you was not nice of him, nobody should be even remotely even thinking about doing anything to you that you don't want them to. Are you saying other people have forced themselves on you in the past?

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Originally Posted by EnglishRose

This is my worst fear. My sister is 14 and I see older guys looking at her all the time. Honey, the reason this guy is going to be in trouble is because what he did was wrong. I dont believe for a second he did not know how old you are. I could tell your age from your post! A guy who is 20 should not be hanging around 15 year old girls. Its not normal and a guy who is twenty and sleeping with a 15 year old girl is doing so because he can't meet girls his own age. This should be a big warning to you. I do understand that a young girl will want to be with older guys because we all thought we were so mature at that age, so this is not your fault. I admit I was 15 when I met my first boyfriend and he was 17, but I was almost 16 and we waited 8 months to have sex and it was everything it was meant to be. I was old enought to discuss contraception and stay over night regularly and we were together for years. This is different, a quick fumble is such a seedy situation is him taking advantage of you. You may not have said no but he obviously didnt ask you if this was something you wanted and were ready for, did he? You should not lie for him, he needs to face the consequences of what he has done. He is old enough to know what he was doing was wrong. He wont go to prison for just touching you but he will learn not to do things like this again and your friends family will know not to leave him alone with you. Why was he there by the way? He wasnt your friends brother or relative was he?
As for your attitude about you not thinking he should pay the price for not raping you, I find this scary! Not raping you was not nice of him, nobody should be even remotely even thinking about doing anything to you that you dont want them to. Are you saying other people have forced themselves on you in the past?

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You.other people have forced it but he was sorry for it later and he thought I was l6 because my friend is and that's why he was over there be because we were so bored at her house with nothing to do... what would happen to him though?? If I told them the truth (they don't have enough info to do anything yet)

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Originally Posted by sweetblood_15

if a 20 yr old guy fingers a 15 year old girl and she lies to the cops and said she had no problem with it, what would happen??? what can she say to NOT get him in trouble.....and to possibly not get her parents to find out?:confused: :(

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What is meant by what state are you in is literally that. Mississippi, Vermont , Utah, etc. Local laws vary and in many of them a 15 year old can't legally have sex with a 20 year old period. Others there is no problem. Consensual or not , Its at the least statutory rape in most of the USA worse if it was forced.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

What is meant by what state are you in is literally that. Mississippi, Vermont , Utah, etc. Local laws vary and in many of them a 15 year old can't legally have sex with a 20 year old period. Others there is no problem. Consensual or not , Its at the least statutory rape in most of the USA worse if it was forced.

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Well.this is CT... and yeah that sucks for me doesn't it?

I'm not even going to conribute any answer to this question, since it contains a child. A man should never touch a child, doesn't matter how old the child may think she is.

Age of consent in CT is 16. What he did was a Class C felony.

There is nothing you can say that will keep him out of trouble without getting you into trouble instead. Once the authorities know, they know, and you've said yourself there is another witness. They don't need any statement from you to prosecute.

I have a daughter that is 13 and if this man ever touches her so help me god I will... well, my answer would get deleted if I said what I would really do.

Sweet, this man is sick and needs to be stopped. He is a child predator and needs to have his balls cut off.

Sorry, you don't want him to get in trouble, but do you want him doing this to a 9 year old? Well, I betcha he will eventually if he is not stopped.

Ok, I know I will be really unpopular here. Please don't slate me, but 20 and 15 is not the same as 20 and 9 is it? She said herself he thought she was 16 and we don't know that she doesn't look it. At 16 I looked 18-19 easily. I don't think this guy has to have a thing for little girls to find a 15 year old attractive. What he did was VERY wrong, he should not have acted on the impulse, but its not in the same league as child abuse, is it? I know she is somebodys baby, but she always will be. That is, provided he did not force himself on her. If that were the case I would hand you the scissors J_9. In England I am sad to say he would probably get off with a caution if she said it was not forced as she is over 14. It is possible that he has made a mistake, that this was a one off and that he believed she was 16 and she wanted to do this, but I think this really is down to the police and social services to look into. I think she should tell the whole truth because if they think she is lying they could read more into it than really happened, and he should face the consequences for his actions. It worries me though, that at 15 you have been in two situations where something so awful can happen to you. Honey I really think you need to be learning from these things. They were not your fault at all but please try not to let yourself get in such dangerous situations, not just while you are under 16 but ever. As women we are unfortunate that we are so much more likely to fall victim to sexual attacks and they can happen at any time with any man. Putting yourself in a situation where you are alone or as good as with a man you do not know can end up in some scary situations. Please be more careful. Your friends parents should have known better than to let this man in their house and be alone with two young girls. Out of interest, how did your mother respond?

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Originally Posted by EnglishRose

Ok, I know I will be really unpopular here. Please dont slate me, but 20 and 15 is not the same as 20 and 9 is it? She said herself he thought she was 16 and we dont know that she doesnt look it. At 16 I looked 18-19 easily. I dont think this guy has to have a thing for little girls to find a 15 year old attractive. What he did was VERY wrong, he should not have acted on the impulse, but its not in the same league as child abuse, is it? I know she is somebodys baby, but she always will be. That is, provided he did not force himself on her. If that were the case I would hand you the scissors J_9. In England I am sad to say he would probably get off with a caution if she said it was not forced as she is over 14. It is possible that he has made a mistake, that this was a one off and that he believed she was 16 and she wanted to do this, but I think this really is down to the police and social services to look into. I think she should tell the whole truth because if they think she is lying they could read more into it than really happened, and he should face the consequences for his actions. It worries me though, that at 15 you have been in two situations where something so awful can happen to you. Honey I really think you need to be learning from these things. They were not your fault at all but please try not to let yourself get in such dangerous situations, not just while you are under 16 but ever. As women we are unfortunate that we are so much more likely to fall victim to sexual attacks and they can happen at any time with any man. Putting yourself in a situation where you are alone or as good as with a man you do not know can end up in some scary situations. Please be more careful. Your friends parents should have known better than to let this man in their house and be alone with two young girls. Out of interest, how did your mother respond?

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Thank you! Where did all this "child abuse, predator" come from?? I'm not a child! "child" is more like 5-11 yrs old... what gives? And what would happen to me if I do lie... the people at my school haven't seen me since Tuesday and now it's almost Saturday morning... I've only been absent once and that was yesterday... so they could have found me if they "needed to talk"... so is it over for now... or are they going to bring it up again?? And my doctor knows thanks to my loudmouth mother! Just friggin great!:D :mad:

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Originally Posted by J_9

I have a daughter that is 13 and if this man ever touches her so help me god I will......... well, my answer would get deleted if I said what I would really do.

Sweet, this man is sick and needs to be stopped. he is a child predator and needs to have his balls cut off.

Sorry, you don't want him to get in trouble, but do you want him doing this to a 9 year old? Well, I betcha he will eventually if he is not stopped.

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Well guess what... I'm not nine!! He would not rape a 9 yr old... omg... he's not stupid and a sick twisted freak that needs to get his balls cut off.. thats what someone who's not in my situation would say!

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Originally Posted by sweetblood_15

if a 20 yr old guy fingers a 15 year old girl and she lies to the cops and said she had no problem with it, what would happen??? what can she say to NOT get him in trouble.....and to possibly not get her parents to find out?:confused: :(

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Oh yeah... by the way people... I'm probably going to be hanging out with him again soon... can't wait for that to happen... and I WILL BE SAFE!! He won't do anything if I tell him not to... maybe you people don't get that part of the story well enough... :cool: hahaha... more info for us! But mainly me! And he did say he was really TRULY SORRY for what he did which is the main reason why I don't think he should get in trouble... I told him I was l6, I never said no, and I did pretty much want it... soooooo... the only problem is the short time frame age difference... had this happen after August 7, 2007... it would be fine... but it happened April 7 instead...

Nice mature answer... you can tell by your posts that you are only 15. Also by any state or even morals that it young. You probably won't be hanging out with him because he will be in jail... or he will be banned from seeing you. I hate to burst your bubble but that is probably what is going to happen. You need to think about your actions, because I hate to say it sweetie a twenty year old isn't going to be happy with fingering for long. There is no short-frame age difference you two are six years apart. Before you can engage in sexual acts you need to mature more, because from the sound of it sex is just an act. Sex has consequences.

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Originally Posted by robertsqueen

Nice mature answer...you can tell by your posts that you are only 15. Also by any state or even morals that it young. You probably won't be hanging out with him becuase he will be in jail...or he will be banned from seeing you. I hate to burst your bubble but that is probably what is going to happen. You need to think about your actions, becuase I hate to say it sweetie a twenty year old isn't going to be happy with fingering for long. There is no short-frame age difference you two are six years apart. Before you can engage in sexual acts you need to mature more, becuase from the sound of it sex is just an act. Sex has consequences.

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Uh yeah... I know that... I'm not some mentally challenged kid who might not know better... I didn't make him do that... and if your going to write crap you know I don't want to read, then don't bother!! And I'm the last person you are going to talk about sex having consequences... you must not have read my other posts because THEY CLEARLY SAY THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME WITH THIS SH!T, AND THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE!! And with the way guys have treated me... I've only seen sex as an act that guys do to make themselves feel better, while they're hurting me! Read what I've wrote and maybe then what you say might make a small, small, very very small... difference.. and there you have it!

Either way he's probably going to be persecuted for Statuatory Rape, no matter what state he is in. Sorry!

First of all you don't need to get rude.. you are the one that got yourself in this position and are asking for adivice. If you don't want it don't ask for it. Also you have some problems that you need to work through before you contiune with this habbit you have of making men feel better. YOU DESERVE BETTER. You shouldn't be using your body to make someone else feel better when you yourself don't feel right. You aren't the only one that has had problems with men hurting them. I too have had problems but I worked through it. I seriously think that you need counseling to work through these issues y ou have. But as you say it is you life. I stand by my post because it is all true... have a great day!

Sweetblood, you have apparently made up your mind so I won't waste my words since they won't make a difference.

But, hun, please, please know that you have been warned. You are putting yourself at more risk than you need or can handle at this age. I need more convincing to see that a 20 year old has only good intentions with a 15 year old. (What is he doing hanging out with 15 year olds and not people, especially women, his own age? ) Please pay more attention and see all the blaring warning signs. 15 is a ripe, perfect age for many predators so please don't think you are immune in anyway (have you even heard of the t.v. show "To Catch a Predator"?)

Anyway, you've been warned and be prepared to face the consequences. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by manimuth

sweetblood, you have apparently made up your mind so I won't waste my words since they won't make a difference.

But, hun, please, please know that you have been warned. You are putting yourself at more risk than you need or can handle at this age. I need more convincing to see that a 20 year old has only good intentions with a 15 year old. (What is he doing hanging out with 15 year olds and not people, especially women, his own age?!) Please pay more attention and see all the blaring warning signs. 15 is a ripe, perfect age for many predators so please don't think you are immune in anyway (have you even heard of the t.v. show "To Catch a Predator"?)

Anyway, you've been warned and be prepared to face the consequences. Good luck.

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Yea... sure

I guess to answer your question "what can I say to NOT get him in trouble." I would say there is nothing you can do. Cops are pretty good at smelling a liar. The more you lie, the more they are going to think he did more than "fingering" and you will get him in more trouble - which is apparently what you want to avoid. You need to be honest - because you will not help him by lying.
As, others have said, there is a witness and your testimony might not even be needed.

Under the law, you are a minor, he is not - so there are serious consequences to his actions.

Suddenly its obvious why young girls need protecting. Honey, your attitude is seriously messed up! Until you learn, probably the hard way, things like this will keep happening to you. I made the mistake of asuming you were mentally in the same place as I was at your age but you clearly are not. Everyone on here has tried to help you but all you want is someone to tell you how to lie and cheat your way out of your problem, which nobody here will do!

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Originally Posted by NowWhat

I guess to answer your question "what can I say to NOT get him in trouble." I would say there is nothing you can do. Cops are pretty good at smelling a liar. The more you lie, the more they are going to think he did more than "fingering" and you will get him in more trouble - which is apparently what you want to avoid. You need to be honest - because you will not help him by lying.
As, others have said, their is a witness and your testimony might not even be needed.

Under the law, you are a minor, he is not - so there are serious consequences to his actions.

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Thanks... but how can they smell a liar? They could find out that I'm lying easliy... but they can't prove that I'm lying... I could just say I was lying about the whole thing just to get attention...