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It stands out when couples don't know how to talk to each other, whether it was that way when they were growing up, or a mistrust to open up. All the assumption can be eliminated just by honestly communicating with each other, especially when the problem is sexual in nature, and one partner will not open up to the other. It doesn't matter if this guy is gay or not, just the fact she doesn't know for sure is the problem. No communication, no relationship.
Hello again, Ruby:Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyPitbull
Quite contraire, Ruby my friend. Without ANY evidence to suggest otherwise, I assume he's a good man. Why would you not? Because he likes to watch gay porn? I think some of your prejudices may be showing.
In addition, I wasn't making light of her issue. Clearly, she believes it to be serious. I just don't think it is. What I was suggesting, is that SHE make light of it.
excon
PS> My measurement?? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!
I think we need to agree to disagree on this one excon.Quote:
Originally Posted by excon
My prejudices aren't showing at all. Since I do not know anything about this couple, I am not assuming anything. I will not assume that he has honored their marriage or that he is straight and just into gay porn. Just like I will not assume that it isn't anything more than what you are stating here.
It is obvious from her posting that she is upset and cannot make light of it, or else she wouldn't have posted. For us to tell her to make light of it, and assuring her that there is nothing to worry about, isn't constructive. If what you suggest is true, she needs outside help to teach her how to do this. The fact that her husband is saying he is not gay, and she is still questioning it, tells me there is a huge problem in their communication with each other. They have hit a roadblock in their marriage. Whether the problem is hers or his, is something that needs to be found out and then worked on. Thus, the suggestion to seek outside help.
Hello again, Ruby:
I don't think we disagree at all. In fact, as both you and Tal said, this is a communication problem, not a sexual problem. The sex is the easy part.
excon
Diseases aside...
I am 100% hetero, so is my wife. That doesn't change the fact she gets turned on by two guys going at it. She does however cringe at the kissing however. I'll watch it with her and entertain her fantasies... personally I'll pick a woman every time given a chance to do what I want with whoever I want. I've never done anything with a guy, and don't plan to. What takes place between a man and woman is between them. In our case we are open enough to try and discuss new things between us. Wife entertains my fantasies as well, FMF threesomes but that doesn't mean we have done those or that she is a lesbian, as she isn't. See my point.
I understand exactly what you are saying Smoothy. Maybe your insight will help love to relax and it will appear not to be as big a problem to her as she seems to suggest here in her posting, AND, as the love of my life, excon is saying.
Hello smoothy:Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Yes, and now we all agree. The point is, you DISCUSS it. THAT is the difference.
excon
I hope they get some good counseling, and if he won't go then she still should. Your right Ruby some people have to be taught how to communicate.
A spade is a spade no matter how you look at it
If You Cop A Woody By Watching Two Guys Getting It On, You Are Probably Gay... bottom Line
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