That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.

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Originally Posted by Justellme

I'm actually English, I'm just beside myself in this and I thought I could ask questions without someone being RUDE about it. Thanks for adding to it!

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Is this how you talk to your husband?

I will add that Viagra is by prescription, not over the counter. A PHYSICIAN prescribed it. Your husband went to a Physician with a problem or concern and the Physician prescribed it.

Viagra doesn't cause an erection. Viagra enables an erection when there is stimulation - which he apparently is still looking to you to provide.

Have you read up on the drug? "It's simple: When it works as intended, Viagra causes a man who is sexually stimulated to get an erection."

I don't understand your upset. He's taking (apparently) Viagra in order to have sex with you. I'd be flattered. Women post here all the time that their husband doesn't/can't get an erection and don't know how to approach him. He's already taken steps to assist him in what appears to be a problem with his erections.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.

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Thank you so much, I trust him, and love him no matter the circumstances, I just couldn't talk to him without questioning all of my emotions and unanswered questions first. I would never want to hurt his male ego or anything like that, thanks again!

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Is this how you talk to your husband?

I will add that Viagra is by prescription, not over the counter. A PHYSICIAN prescribed it. Your husband went to a Physician with a problem or concern and the Physician prescribed it.

Viagra doesn't cause an erection. Viagra enables an erection when there is stimulation - which he apparently is still looking to you to provide.

Have you read up on the drug? "It's simple: When it works as intended, Viagra causes a man who is sexually stimulated to get an erection."

I don't understand your upset. He's taking (apparently) Viagra in order to have sex with you. I'd be flattered. Women post here all the time that their husband doesn't/can't get an erection and don't know how to approach him. He's already taken steps to assist him in what appears to be a problem with his erections.

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I needed questions I had, answered before speaking with him to avoid hurting him. The male ego is a huge thing and he's so gentle and easy going I just couldn't slip and say something to hurt him. Thank you for you knowledge on this though.

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Originally Posted by Justellme

I needed questions I had, answered before speaking with him to avoid hurting him. The male ego is a huge thing and he's so gentle and easy going I just couldn't slip and say something to hurt him. Thank you for you knowledge on this though.

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Can you tell me why finding out that he is taking (if he is) Viagra is upsetting to you and why he didn't tell you? Why do you think he kept it secret?

My guess is male ego but usually there are sexual problems first, and the wife is well aware that there is something changing.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Can you tell me why finding out that he is taking (if he is) Viagra is upsetting to you and why he didn't tell you? Why do you think he kept it secret?
I hear about marriages falling apart all the time and I would never want that to happen to us. I was just shocked. And also very impressed that he did something like this on his own. He's Is wonderful and I am very lucky to have him. If he feels the need to have that as a backup then so be it.
My guess is male ego but usually there are sexual problems first, and the wife is well aware that there is something changing.

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I hear about marriages falling apart all the time and I would never want that to happen to us. I was just shocked. And also very impressed that he did something like this on his own. He's Is wonderful and I am very lucky to have him. If he feels the need to have that as a backup then so be it.

Talking with him will be joyful and full of smiles, not full of fear and tears. Are you feeling better about this?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That's why I want you to think about this now, so you don't get weird about it.

This is about him, not how he feels about you. I strongly suggest that, if and when you talk with him, be upbeat about your marriage and your sex life. It sounds like you two are the love of each other's life, so don't get hinky about him having affairs or whatever. I really think this is all about him and his insecurities about aging.

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Thank you so much.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Talking with him will be joyful and full of smiles, not full of fear and tears. Are you feeling better about this?

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Yes, thank you so very much.

Any questions? Any insecurities still hanging there?

Are you smiling and eager for an active and fun-filled sex life with the man you love and who loves you?

Don't be confrontational. Listen a lot more than you talk. Really listen and let your love shine through your body language and your facial expressions.

And be sure to let us know how things are going. :)

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Don't be confrontational. Listen a lot more than you talk. Really listen and let your love shine through your body language and your facial expressions.

And be sure to let us know how things are going. :)

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Will do :) I feel a lot better about ALL of this-he and I talked about the what ifs and we both agreed that our relationship is more than just sex and it always has been and will always be-i will update you on our conversation when it occurs(I'm sure it will be soon enough)

I will be here and waiting.