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Originally Posted by Stac33

If you are the one that wants it more, how do you NOT take it personally?

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I am assuming you're referring to a current situation then.

In which case I must ask: have you considered why the other half isn't interested?

Someone before mentioned spicing things up and I would imagine that would help.

I was a virgin until last May/June and he has been my only "lover" and it wasn't exactly an experience which has me dancing around wanting more sex.

Of course, I also got pregnant from the experiences and had 9 months of celibacy anyway. XD

My point is: had the sex been actually great, I'd probably have more of a sex drive. Guess it'll depend on when a guy actually helps make it enjoyable. =)

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Originally Posted by EnglishRose

Lol, I remember those days fondly!!!! Not with Qwazi obviously lol

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Are you sure ER? I was with a lot of women before I married!:D

Of course you wouldn't know me by the name Qwazi, back then I was known as Mr. Studly the woman pleaser:D

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Originally Posted by Qwazi

First of all, your name makes me uncomfortable.

Why would you stop having sex because your wife is pregnant? Did the doctor tell you it was dangerous for the baby for some odd reason? My wife and I had sex up to the day before she gave birth with all 4 of our kids. No problems.

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For some odd reason. Okay now you have me boiling mad. Who the ---- are you to judge me for the username I have.

For some odd reason. Every situation is different. For you to base what is normal on your own experience is wrong.

No problems for you. Congratulations.

Good for you.

Not everybody has that luxery of no complications.

You're such an ignorant ---.


Joe

I think what you see is the amount of sex is not a thing normal for anyone. A lot of couples even in the newly wed state would say that 2 or 3 times a week is a lot or normal for them.

And it is not wrong for couples to only have sex a few times a month or less for busy couples, or ones that put their overall relatonship as the most important thing.

For others it is never, I have of course many religoius frineds who are celebrate and will never have sex. And for them that is great and normal

After a few years of marriage over all I would say a 2 or 3 times a week is a norm if there is any real norm.

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Sex is not gross.

perhaps you are young (which is fine, so ok to think that way if you must) or you have some major hang-ups from a cold or overly religious upbringing.

Sex is serious though.

No matter what people say, it does affect someone's feelings when we engage in it. so, try to be with someone you respect and is not married, cheating, or sexually confused,and it will be a stronger and safer experience.

And I would say - 2x a day is what i really like, but not always what ensues :-)
i would guess 2-3x a week for long term couples
and 5x a week for 2 year and under couples -
And ZERO for a lot of broken couples that often find themselves here on this site :-)

(huge generalizations, but hey I think people like concrete thoughts - so there ya go.)

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I've been married for 16 1/2 years and its still 5-7 times a week. :D And my wife initiates it at least as often as I do. And its never repetitive or boring. And my wife has never been with anyone else other than me. I do take the time to find out what gets her excited and what doesn't, and try new things to keep it from getting boring. Nothing is worse than missionary year after year, after year. No wonder some couples never do it very often. Its give and take. You have to be open to stuff, BOTH of you, and then you can keep it exciting. Actually I have found its much better now than when we first married. And I am sure she agrees with me as well.

My husband and I have sex about four to five times a week.. on a good week. But factor in a child... school... and jobs it varies. If we had been up with our sick son.. like last night then we don't usually feel up to anything the next day.

My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years and normal for us is about 1 or 2x a week. Most of the time our urges are off. One night I want to and he's tired or vice versa. And then you factor in crying child right before you... and it throws the whole night off.

Our drive has gotten a lot better though since I turned 30.

And to respond to one of the post about having sex during pregnancy - We were put on "restriction" when I was 7 weeks pregnant and couldn't do anything for the rest of the 1st trimester. When we were allowed again - we found out that I was having a girl and it kind of freaked my husband out. Plus, I was huge and did not feel sexy at all! So, we didn't have sex during my pregnancy either!

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Originally Posted by smoothy

I've been married for 16 1/2 years and its still 5-7 times a week. :D And my wife initiates it at least as often as I do. And its never repetitive or boring. And my wife has never been with anyone else other than me. I do take the time to find out what gets her excited and what doesn't, and try new things to keep it from getting boring. Nothing is worse than missionary year after year, after year. No wonder some couples never do it very often. Its give and take. You have to be open to stuff, BOTH of you, and then you can keep it exciting. Actually I have found its much better now than when we first married. And I am sure she agrees with me as well.

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Super!

That's why I put hard (pardon the pun) numbers up.
To give people something to react to...

What age did you get married?

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Super!

That's why I put hard (pardon the pun) numbers up.
To give people something to react to...

What age did you get married??

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I was 29 when we got married and she was 26, I had been with a number of women over the years, most were very forgettable for their performance in bed, wife had no history there till we were close to being married. I'd say the first few years were sort of blah, till she became more comfortable with her sexuality, And right now I would not trade her for anyone I had been with before we got married. Oh that's not to say some old flames did not have their special traits, a few were good at certain things. But averaged on the whole my wife is far better than any of them had been. And that's ignoring other parts of the relationship that being married brings to you. Do we have our fights... most certainly. This isn't Disney. Will I stray due to lack of effort on the wife's part, or her performance? Not on your life. I'm quite happy at home. And trust me I do have a good imagination. I am not a stick in the mud type person.

Communication is everything in a relationship, married or not.

Smoothy, do you not think that , although I'm sure your wife has her talents, that it is the connection you have with her that makes it so good these days? A magic that you had never felt before?

Quwasi - I'm sure if we had, I would remember! Lol. Although, I think I may have been a little young before you were married hun x

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Originally Posted by EnglishRose

Smoothy, do you not think that , although I'm sure your wife has her talents, that it is the connection you have with her that makes it so good these days? A magic that you had never felt before?

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Yes... because that is something you will NOT have with casual dating. And sadly many people who are married do not have. You can say after several years of marriage we got on the same sheet of music. We found what we enjoy in common and both are willing to try things the other likes at times.


And that all comes down to that connection. And the fact neither of us really had any "emotional baggage" or sexual hangups that got in the way of our relationship. And like I have mentioned, that doesn't mean we have the perfect marriage were nobody ever gets upset or angry. We have our share of those like most couples. But that we never let it get in the way, and we don't ever say or think, "we'll he or she ticked me off so I just am not going to do that for them"... what fights we have and their topics never ever get brought into the bedroom.

I'm 26 And I Have Sex 1-3 Times A Week. If It Were Up To Me I Would Have It Every Day But As My Boyfriend Has Pointed Out It's Better To Wait And Build Up Sexual Tension Between Us. It Makes The Sex Even Better And It Doest Get Boring. So It's Not Always About How Much You Get It But How Good It Is!

My girl is currently living out of town. We only get to be together every couple of months for now so our situation may not be typical. When we are together it's maybe 15-20 times over 2 weeks. Making up for lost time?