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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

- or introduce her to my friends because she's not up to my standards as a humble man, "the kind of person that gets compliments and women try to contact me quite frequently without trying," without vanity, considerate of others, gifted in bedroom-associted activies and good at "pleasuring" women.

Must be a rough life, trying to find someone worthy.

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She's hung out with my friends, I've hungout with hers on multiple occasions. I'm no longer looking for advice here, but this is interesting what assumptions you are projecting onto me. And I don't say anything out of vanity, it's like being a good sprinter or being good at math, saying it doesn't make you a selfish narcissist. In fact I'm done defending myself to you, you aren't going to convince me I'm a selfish person because I'm not and I know it. You are confusing self-confidence with vanity.

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Originally Posted by Mike R

well it's just not true, maybe that's your experiences in life, but it's not true one bit and I'd get into the bio-psychology but it's clear what your stance is here.

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I'm a professional counselor. I'll do a lit review for you, if you wish. No one can make anyone happy.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm a professional counselor. I'll do a lit review for you, if you wish. No one can make anyone happy.

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Out of "likes"!

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Originally Posted by Mike R

I find it quite offensive to be labelled as completely selfish when it's the farthest thing from the truth, I've gone to her grandparents house and played with her nephews, in what world is that all about me? I see this as talking to a woman who has been treated poorly by selfish men and is projecting that onto me.

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There is something here that are being danced around and I am not sure is being addressed properly.

You're afraid of hurting her by breaking up with her because of her looks. Also afraid of what people will think of you because you're doing this. You're afraid that your reputation, such as it is, will be tarnished and you'll be seen as shallow because you dumped a girl because she was getting fat.

We've been taught from a young age that true beauty is on the inside and that is what is important. That we shouldn't be concerned about what a person looks like because it is their personality that is beautiful. That is true for the most part. Personality is important. I know some Beautiful women with ugly personalities and vice versa. Both can be deal breakers.

The kicker is that we're only told part of the story. We are told all this happy horse without being told that biologically and subconsciously we discriminate based on looks. We don't do this in a professional sense, but in a personal and romantic sense we do. We're constantly judging people about how they look and their suitability as a mate. We just don't really realize it. It is okay. It is called personal taste. There is nothing wrong with it.

The other thing is that you're seeing a lot of her habits when it comes to lifestyle. She is sedentary and you're not. It isn't a huge conflict but could be a problem.

What you're also missing is the validation of the belief that it is okay to break up with you about this. It is.

The sooner the better. If you wait longer than it will hurt more for the both of you. Just remember to spare the poor girl when you do break up with her. It is you. Remember that. You're going to hurt her. It is just how much at this point. Don't be a douche about it.