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-   -   Long time to achieve orgasm (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/long-time-achieve-orgasm-633503.html)

  • Feb 5, 2012, 05:01 PM
    tracylynn30
    Long time to achieve orgasm
    It takes for a very long time lately to have an orgasm with my husband. What can I do?
  • Feb 5, 2012, 05:13 PM
    JudyKayTee
    I'd talk to him about the issue - and tell him what you need, like or want. In fact, show him.

    Experimentation is always nice.
  • Feb 5, 2012, 07:46 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Are you having at least one with foreplay before starting sex? Are you showing him and trying different positions.
  • Feb 6, 2012, 03:22 AM
    DaniCalifornia
    It's all about the foreplay. If you've built up the desire over the day, you're more likely to orgasm quicker. For example, if you have a day off, and he's at work. Spend some of the day preparing the bedroom. Get dressed into something that makes you feel sexy. And when he gets home, surprise him. But don't stop there! Assure him you want prolonged foreplay as you're enjoying it. Also, there are a lot of good books out there that give great tips on how to spice it up. I have shelves full, myself!

    And stop worrying about it, if you're relaxed and not concentrating on orgasming, it'll feel better when you do.

    X Dani
  • Feb 6, 2012, 01:39 PM
    Cat1864
    If this is a recent development, what has changed in your lives?

    We aren't machines that behave the same way every time for all of our lives. Changes in timing of when you are having sex or where can affect how you respond.

    Other factors that can affect your libido and how into sex you are:
    Pregnancy and children
    New residence
    Fear of interruptions
    Fear of being overheard
    Stress
    Medical issues
    Medicines including a change of birth control
    Weight loss or gain
    How you perceive yourself
    How tired you are
    Concern about your partner's health
    Even being worried about your partner's fidelity

    Age and general changes that come with getting older. As our hormones change so do our needs and responses.

    Doing the same thing over and over again. When you get to intercourse, is it the same thing every time? Do you vary tempo, angle and position? On the other hand, if you do, is there too much variation and/or too often? Just when you are getting into it, he changes pace.

    Do you both become focused on the 'goal' of climaxing or are you enjoying being together and the journey?

    If this is a major change and most factors have remained the same or if you are concerned, talk to your doctor. Talking to a neutral person may help you clarify what could be bothering you.

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