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    Phelps20's Avatar
    Phelps20 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 8, 2010, 12:02 AM
    How come I cant get in the mood to have sex anymore?
    My husband and I have never had a problem having sex and now for about a year and a half its so hard for me to get in the mood. Once we finally get me in the mood we have amazing sex, I just wish I could get in the mood more often, Im sure my husband gets tired of hearing that I don't want to or I'm not in the mood. Im extremely happy with my husband and very attracted to him so I don't know what the problem is, can anyone pleaseee help!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Dec 8, 2010, 06:22 AM

    Any kids... stress at work... money worries... other distractions that occupy a big part of your life?

    Also... issues with Depression or are you on any mumber of prescribed medications that might reduce your libido?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 8, 2010, 07:05 AM

    To find the solution you are going to need to find the cause or, more likely, causes.

    How old are you? Could menopause or perimenopause (perimenopause - Bing Health) be a factor?

    How you perceive yourself can affect how in the mood you are. Allowing yourself to feel sexy can go a long way toward increasing your libido. It can be a learning process to balance all the aspects of our natures and not bury sexuality under all the other more public aspects.

    Certain forms of birth control can lower a woman's libido.

    There are several medical conditions and medications that can cause problems.

    Stress, concerns, exhaustion, etc. tend to distract from physical intimacy. Children, family, job, school, finances, etc. can be difficult subjects to put aside to focus on being aroused.

    Sometimes, we get caught up in doing the same things the same ways at the same times (Tune in Tomorrow. Same Bat Time. Same Bat Channel. If you remember the ending of the Batman episodes.) Changing time, trying a different room, getting new lingerie or perfume, doing your hair differently, etc. may not seem like much but can make a huge difference in how you feel. Sometimes, taking time to lie together just feeling each other's presence and talking (not expecting sex) can develop into sex because the pressure has been turned off.

    Do you masturbate or allow yourself to fantasize? Erotica (I lump everything from Romance Novels and, so-called, chick flicks to porn in this category) can help you get new ideas and into a more aroused mind-set. Sharing with your husband can help you both get mentally aroused.

    Last thought, women tend to be more mentally oriented when it comes to arousal. While he needs to be aware of that and possibly find ways to stimulate your mind, so do you. I think of it as mental masturbation. If you can allow yourself to think about how your favorite food tastes, feels and smells, why can't you do the same with memories/thoughts of your husband?
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #4

    Dec 8, 2010, 08:22 PM
    smoothy and cat took my Good Questions.

    So...

    Answer them please.
    summer_girl's Avatar
    summer_girl Posts: 146, Reputation: 48
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 26, 2010, 06:55 PM
    Erotica is a great idea. Sometimes it really helps if you can get your mind excited for it.
    chocolateemamii's Avatar
    chocolateemamii Posts: 26, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #6

    Dec 28, 2010, 01:52 PM

    Get some lingerie, sex toys, or something like that. Think of the things that turns you on, and try to make some type of interest in that.

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