I liked this girl(now girlfriend) for over a year and she liked me too but I didn't want to ask her out because she was always partying, drinking, smoking weed, doing mushrooms and ecstasy and that's a big turn off for me. Sometimes I would try to make out with her or have sex with her she wouldn't do it and she would say no I can't do stuff like this with friends, I only do it with a boyfriend. So I asked her out one day we got into a relationship. We would do everything in bed but sex she wouldn't do it. After 3 weeks she told me she is a virgin. I really like this girl and I trust her but that is just unbelievable she's 22 years old and doing all these drugs and still a virgin anyway She decided to have sex. When we did it she didn't bleed or anything and she didn't even get nervous. The way she performs in bed is just more than experience girl. Should I believe that she never slept with anyone else?

Are you only with this girl for sex? You made it sound at the beginning like you pressured into it. There's no reason not to believe her. She's told you she was, that's how it is. Does it matter to you that much? You're making it sound like if she were a virgin, it would be a disappointing piece of news to you.

You should only have sex when in love, that's my opinion.

X Dani

Yes you believe her, since that is the story she wants to share now. Perhaps that is what she thinks you wanted or expected or it is the truth, Either way, she is not now, you made sure of that.

And unless you are keeping score of the number of virgins you can get, does it matter ? Sounds like you were going after her for sex to start with anyway?

If two people have done a lot of sexual things, and if she perhaps masterbated with toys, or other things, she would not bleed, many women don't bleed in socieity today

Exactly what Chuck said. Not to mention tampons have been known to break hymens as well.

Why is it so important to you? Does it really matter that much?

Wher you virgin before having sex with her? It sounds that you just wanted to have sex with her not to be her boyfrind.

John

She was experienced in sex even if she hadn't had intercourse before you. Oral, mutual masturbation, anal, toys, whatever else you were doing in bed before you had vaginal penetration were forms of sex. Why should she be nervous or not have an understanding of what intercourse entails?

I just hope you are both being careful about birth control. My standard caution to couples just starting to have sex is to remember that no form of birth control is 100% effective. Even multiple forms correctly used can fail.

Is she still 'partying'?

If you are in a relationship with her, you should trust her unless you have proof that she isn't being trustworthy. Though you may ask yourself why you are questioning her 'virginity' at this time. Are you looking for an 'out' or does it really matter?

Yes at first I just wanted to have sex with her and leave her because I thought She just sleeps around whenever she does all the drugs but When she told me She's a virgin I was just shocked. She's been doing ecstasy for over a year and off course if a single girl that is 22 partying, smoking and doing ecstasy would diffidently want to have sex. My question is should I believe her or no? I'm just confused

I think it's out of the question whether you should believe her. You tried to use this woman. And whatever she's done in her own life, drugs, sleeping around, it's wrong.

Dani

And I agree - you are trying to use her because you think other people have used her but her virginity (or lack therof) is upsetting to you.

If you can live with her history of "partying, drinking, smoking weed, doing mushrooms and ecstasy," you can live with her "virgin" status.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DaniCalifornia

I think it's out of the question whether you should believe her. You tried to use this woman. And whatever she's done in her own life, drugs, sleeping around, it's wrong.

Dani

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This deserves both an agree AND applause.

You still haven't given me a reason to question what she told you. She didn't have to tell you she was a virgin unless she was one. It doesn't sound like you were expecting her to be one so why lie?

It seems you may have to think about and get past your own preconceived notions of what a party girl is like. Very few people fit into neat little, well-marked boxes.

I think it is interesting (and you want to think this through a bit more) that you wanted her because you thought she slept around for the same reasons/things you said you found to be a turn-off. Have you learned to respect her as a person and to know her as an individual or are you still trying to make her fit into the box you think she should be in?

If you don't trust and care about her instead of what you think she should be, then let her go.