Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Adult Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=370)
-   -   First time sex hurt? Stretch? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=831016)

  • Mar 8, 2017, 03:43 AM
    mitan0119
    First time sex hurt? Stretch?
    I understand the first sex needs to relax, wet and use a lot of lube to reduce pain. All the while, we only hear that it hurt when hymen break but my friend just lost her virginity told me that actually the pain from hymen break just hurt few second, the most hurt her is the feeling like vagina being stretch to it limit. Why nobody highlight this feeling before? Or just she is special?
    She also told me that her boyfriend penis is in small size but when enter, its felt so large.
    This make me worry as my boyfriend having a very thick and long penis.
  • Mar 8, 2017, 05:34 AM
    joypulv
    Your friend is unusual. Not super rare, but enough for concern, unless it was the first time and she just tightened all her muscles out of anxiety without realizing it. If it continues, then she should be seen by a doctor.
    Each woman's hymen is different, and some are even broken before sex, because of being very thin, or because of strenuous activity.
    Your boyfriend can help with relaxing you by using one finger, then 2, and not rushing, lot's of time kissing and hugging and stroking and just playing around.
  • Mar 8, 2017, 05:40 AM
    mitan0119
    Yes. It was her first time.
    Will it become worse if he is having a large size?
  • Mar 8, 2017, 06:30 AM
    talaniman
    It's perfectly normal to worry about a first experience, and important that you and your partner talk of this, so you can both work to make this comfortable as possible. Also consider that a woman can deliver a child, so has the ability to stretch.

    The key here is relax, communicate, and go slow.
  • Mar 8, 2017, 09:19 AM
    CravenMorhead
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mitan0119 View Post
    I understand the first sex needs to relax, wet and use a lot of lube to reduce pain. All the while, we only hear that it hurt when hymen break but my friend just lost her virginity told me that actually the pain from hymen break just hurt few second, the most hurt her is the feeling like vagina being stretch to it limit. Why nobody highlight this feeling before? Or just she is special?
    She also told me that her boyfriend penis is in small size but when enter, its felt so large.
    This make me worry as my boyfriend having a very thick and long penis.

    Good Morning,

    The majority of people will feel momentary discomfort if there is a hymen and if it needs breaking. Otherwise it won't hurt.

    The soreness afterwards could be just from not being used to sex, or her partner was a little rough. The vaginal canal is meant to stretch somewhat, larger then any penis you will find. You will not have to have a concern for yourself. Your friend probably was unconsciously tensing while having sex, doing something for the first time will do that.

    If the problem persists she should visit her doctor or OB/GYN if she has one.
  • Mar 12, 2017, 04:40 PM
    mitan0119
    Is it means that no being stretched open feeling at all?
  • Mar 13, 2017, 03:58 AM
    joypulv
    Are you asking "Does it mean that not being stretched means you will have no feeling at all?" No, you can still have plenty of feeling.
    Speaking as a woman, however, I think I speak for a billion women when I say that you can't expect a whole lot of nice feeling the first time, or maybe for several times. It takes time to relax your mind and all the rest of your body. And not all men are very good at appreciating what that is like, so they are a bit nervous too, and don't spend enough time just caressing the woman.

    Your vagina, remember, is built to let a baby stretch it, and no man has a penis that big!
    Don't go by your friend's experience. She could have any number of medical conditions, such as a prolapsing uterus (the uterus falls down into the vagina, and sometimes falls right out of the body). Usually would happen in older women who have given birth, but it's just one example of why she might have felt that a small penis was huge. She could have a cyst somewhere in her abdomen, and it's pressing on the side of her vagina. Cysts are common. They are often just filled with water and fat.

    We could go on all day about 'maybe' this or that. There are just too many reasons why one woman feels pain and another doesn't.
  • Mar 13, 2017, 10:14 AM
    CravenMorhead
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mitan0119 View Post
    Is it means that no being stretched open feeling at all?

    Not saying that you couldn't feel that. It is your body, you know how it reacts.

    What I am saying that you probably aren't going to be stretched, or the vaginal canal won't be stretched to the point of pain. While it is true that it can expand in size to fit a small child through, that process requires a LOT of hormones to occur. In addition, during child birth, the vaginal canal gets shorter but wider.

    You're getting used to the sensations of sex. It is something that is hard to describe. The important take away message is: If there is pain stop intercourse and see a doctor.

    Also, use lube. Seriously. Your body may or may not produce the proper amount of lube and you can never have too much. Some symptoms will disappear with the addition of lube. Also, it isn't bad or abnormal if your body doesn't produce enough natural lube. IT is one of those life things.

    Good Luck.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:53 PM.