I am almost 50 and am not satisfied sexually in my current relationship. There is none and he has issues. I like my partner--lots of fun and a stitch to be with. But how can one prepare for the idea of Causal Sex. I am not in the best of shape but I need this very badly. Thanks. Sandy

Are you saying that you are with someone and are going to have casual sex with a differnet party?

Boyfriend of three years is bi and claims has ed.
I need something! Bi fellow does not know I know and I am not ready to walk.
Need outlets.
Thanks.
Don't judge.

Hard not to judge in this situation, hon

If you want the relationship to last, you need to talk to him about options to get your sex life going. It's not really fair to him to cheat, now is it? How would YOU feel if it were you in his shoes?

You don't just get in the mindframe for casual sex. I think really, that part of where you and I will have difficulties relating is that for MY generation, casual sex can equal death. Those of us under 40 can't really remember a time without AIDS. Are you willing to risk your LIFE for sex?

My suggestion is to get some toys and learn to use them.

So you have a "roommate" and you want casual sex with others?

This means you are willing to use him emotionally while sleeping with other people.

Believe me, I think sexual compatibility and intimacy is important. I think that he doesn't seem interested in satisfying you is a shame... but that, under any circumstances, does not make right the deliberate attempt to sneak around.

He might be wrong to not step up for you. You would be just as wrong to step out on him.

Get a pair and either deal with this through conversation or step away from the relationship. It isn't OK to seek out other sources of satisfaction just because you don't want the trouble of difficult conversation.

He's a human being, with all his faults. If your needs are not being met you should give him the chance to meet them. If they still aren't met then you have a decision to make.

Sneaking around isn't a respectible option.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by YellowBrickRoad

bf of three years is bi and claims has ed.
i need something! bi fellow does not know i know and i am not ready to walk.
need outlets.
thanks.
don't judge.

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Honestly... Why don't you break up with guy? If you're not sexually satisfied than it's not fair for you to cheat on him. I would break it off with this guy that way you can have meaningful sex (which is much better than casual sex) and this guy that you're with won't be hurt...

I understand that your partner's issue is physical and he may or may not be able to helped with that by a medical doctor, but why is this stopping him from pleasing you or you pleasing yourself? I agree that you shouldn't cheat on him... that would be mean in my opinion (not to mention dangerous in many different ways). Good luck.

Casual sex is hot and good but it is not for keeps, I would suggest that you openly talk about it with your husband and tell him the things that would turn you on well and make you alive when you are with him. You might find he doesn't touch where you want and yet you keep quiet about it. To achieve good sex, you need to openly have serious talk about it and tell him what you like most and do the same to him. Try to spice it up and my dear you won't need casual sex attall. Goodluck.

Thread closed because it is a YEAR AND A HALF OLD.