So me and my boyfriend have been sexually active for about 7 months, and I can't seem to get an orgasm from him. He thinks its because I can't orgasm but I know I can because I've used a vibrator before. Anyway we try tons of position, with me on top, doggy, on the side, missionary,etc.. But nothing seems to work on me. We've done lots of oral stuff too, but nothing! He says its because I can't seem to relax..
HELP! P.s he's my first.

That is because he is not hitting the right spot he has to stimulate your clitoris, and he may be off, you need to guide him to the right spot.. obviously you can orgasm, that is not a problem, the problem is him stimulating the right spot.. hey check this link out
Why can't I have an orgasm?

Some would say that a female orgasm relates to mate selection. The orgasm is your body's way of telling you that you have chosen right mate. Try using a vibrator in the doggy-style position or a vibration cock ring.

He's your first lover.

I would guess that you are still in masturbation mode, and have not learned how to be passionate about couple-sex. Being orgasmic with a man and passionate is learned for most women.

Choux and jolienoire really both hit it. I think it's a combination of technique and that fact you have to get used to letting yourself go while in the presence of your boyfriend. If he doesn't have a problem with it, ask him if you can bring your vibrator into the mix with him, you don't have to use it for penetration, just use it on your clitoris while he is inside of you. Since you know the vibe works for you, it may be a good way to start.

Thanks for all the great replies!
My boyfriend doesn't know I have vibrators, I think he's against them. Haha. He says that he doesn't want something to do what he can't do for me. (give me an orgasm) I think I know what you guys are talking about when you say there's "no passion" I mean I love him to death but it does feel like something's missing. I know he knows it too cause he mentioned it before, he said that he wants me to orgasm so that they're more passion in our sex.
Anyway I read in some posts that being on top is the best way to receive an orgasm.. is this true? I tried it a couple of times before, but I just feel like I can't do it as good as him when I'm on top... but I'm going to try it again tonight ;)

Don't try to do it as well as him. Make your body feel good.

He doesn't sound very supportive of your problem. There in could lie the reason you can't orgasm is because he isn't supportive of you. Me and my hubby have toys we use a lot. On the night he can't make me orgasm but the toys can he doesn't play the "it must be you" card. You just need more clitoris stimulation and it isn't like you can flick a switch and make him vibrate you there. Also being your first... Is he getting you emotionaly and physically ready? Or is it OK get wet lets go? Women take priming. Have him give you an erotic massage. Kissing and touching you all over. My best orgasms are during foreplay.

If I want to get my partner off, and I have no restraints on time or schedules... meaning not rushing to work after, not trying to sneak something in while the kids asleep, etc... this is what works best for her...

Shell take a long hot shower to warm her body and relax. Whatever room we are going to be in should be warm and comfortable... this can be by the fireplace, this can be in the bedroom with the space heater running while she's in the shower. I want her naked and not hiding under covers to stay warm.

After the hot shower we might kiss and pet some. I like a lot more kissing than she does, so I tend to move on sooner. Using either massage oil or even body lotion ill work her body from head to toe... or sometimes from toes to head. If he doesn't know how to give a good massage, get a few books. A little reading goes a long way. There are tons of books out there that can get him, and you started. Tied into that, there are also good books that talk about sensual touching, which helps you build up tension and connect through skin on skin.

A key element is to take time. Guys rush things... I've done it and I still do if I'm not thinking. That said, time of day can be important... if I massage her at 10pm at night, she might nearly be asleep by the time I'm done. Earlier in the day and she can think about how it feels to have my fingertips trace her, and tie that into sexual energy... not just relaxation.

After that, there's more kissing and I work with my mouth and fingers from her neck, slowly down her chest, her abs, her hips, inner thighs, and then ill go down on her. If you haven't read "she comes first" do it. I'm getting tired of recommending it in nearly every post, but it's a great way to learn about your own body. Not to mention it changed a few things I've been doing, for the better.

Mkay... so oral on her to completion or close to it. Personally, to completion is great. Intercourse after.

With intercourse, yes you need to explore different positions. Woman on top, going through a "rowing" motion instead of up and down can change sensations, not to mention you can cause friction by pressing down your pelvis, getting pressure at the mons pubis and your cl!toris.

But even if you prefer other positions, such as him on top, do you self stimulate during sex? If he's uspet about your not having an orgasm, he might not want you to do this, but that's too bad. One lover I had got off almost all the time with me on top if she or I fingerstimulated her cl!toris. Without that, it was much, much less likely.

If he gripes, show him the anatomy... your cl!toris is at a lousy position compared to where the action is with penetration... not to mention different women like different stimuli. Hard pressure. Soft touches. Near thrashing. Light glances. Its just not as simple as saying once he is in you, you are going to get the right pressure. If he's unwilling to recognize this anatomical setup, he's probably just not going to be willing to help you the way you need him to.

Also multiple stimuli at different times can keep your body guessing. For ex, my partner likes my hands on her breasts early on, but wants my mouth on her in the late stages. Fingers drawn across her a$$ or thumbs pressed against the inside of her thighs if she's on top changes it. Hands gently around her neck or her finger in my mouth on my tongue, sucking can push her over the top when she needs that boost.

All that said... it doesn't always go perfectly.

If I had a gun to my head and was told to get her off or else, oral is the way id go. Intercourse, with all the above setups, can get her there, but not always. Sometimes her mind isn't completely free. Sometimes it feels great for her, but she doesn't get over the top. So... I don't want to make it sound like I know the ultimate answers in bed.

I know what works for her most of the time... and we got there through experience, effort, failure, communication, and an honest enjoyment of sex. If its all about the big "O" and you don't reach it, suddenly a wonderful act is a perceived failure. But still... that's not to say pursuit of that orgasm is something you should give up.

All you guys need is a few "wins"... if self stim got you off while he's in you, I'm guessing hed be more happy you got off than upset. I personally think its sexy when my partner does... I never think that she's compensating for some failure of mine...

So... get your mind in the right place. Get your body the right stimulation. Get your boyfriend to be patient and willing to explore. Educate yourself by reading books on sex and sensuality. Its all worth the effort. Just be patient and be willing to fail a little to get where you need to be.

OMG I HAVE TO LOG OFF right now great advice... lol...

Why does he always make me pant? It's darn embarrassing.

I thought I was reading a novel, then I start to feel some sort of way but I second that emotion, I better get home ASAP...

Lol

Me too. I've just got to stop for batteries. Lots and lots of batteries.

Are you attracked to him? Do you look at porn a lot? Usually people that look at porn have a really hard time getting off from sex cause they have to visualize everything. Next time you two have sex. Try and relax close your eyes and imagine him on top of you. Sometimes if I am trying to hard and not relaxing enough I can't either. So try to relax more and foreplay really helps too. Not to be nasty or anything but maybe some lube would get you going. I like the KY warming feels so good give it a try you just my burst!! Lol :)

Babyy,
First off RELAX! He is right becoming comfortable with a man is important to the orgasm process. I always make it clear to men that if I am not comfortable with you the sex is going to suck so give me time. Second, don't be afraid to use those digits for extra stimulation during sex. Personally I find rubbing my clitoris during penis penetration amazing. Just slide your hand down and rub your fingers on your clitoris and rub his penis a little bit. He'll love it

Oh god.. I think I just got off from reading your post

Oh I'm definitely attracted to him.. and sometime we watch porn togther, but its just for fun, not for like stimulation or anything. OH we do use lube, but it's just some regular stuff. But this one time we had a sample of this durex lube that was hot and tingly.. now that was nice.. I think maybe we'll go buy some of that tonight. But I'll definitely try and to imagine him on top of me more.. thanks for the advice ;)

Hahaa sorry, ill wrote more to this comment.. I just needed sometime to breath..
Anyway we never really spent ONE whole night on just being romantic.. we don't usually have a lot of time for it, but I think we'll try this next weekend.. with candles and massages and everything.
And about the self stimulation while having sex.. I think about doing it sometime.. but then I stop cause I think it'd be to awkward... but next time.. ill just go for it..

Anyway I think you should think about writing erotic novels... I'd def buy one..

Just try to relax. A "big weekend" can have stress and tension if you are too worried about making it "perfect"...

Don't be afraid to talk to him. Be willing to tell him to go slower, kiss you "here", etc... and be willing to guide him with your voice and your hands and your body. The more you can enjoy the experience of being with him, the closer you will get to where you need to be.

So have fun. Its not now or never. Some of my best sensual experiences happen long before orgasm, or happen when no sex even occurred.

Kp2171 - I got to spread the love so I can't give you a greenie, but MY GOD! I'm printing that post out and posting it on my fridge for my boyfriend to read. Now that's how you treat a lady!