I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years now. I am 12 years younger than him and have recently moved in with him.
Before him & I were in a relationship I had only had sex the one time, & he had 20 years of experience on me.
At the start of our relationship we had a great sex life as any other relationship but after being together for a year I noticed he became un-interested and stopped asking for it like a dog wagging for a bone. I was confused as to why, because the only time we saw and spent time with each other was during the weekends, so I began snooping and found that he had porn stashed under his bed and in drawers, this hurt because he was jerking off and leaving me out of the fun. So after a year of only having sex twice or less a month I couldn't take it and broke up with him to make up for never getting any. But since getting back together 6 months later after my sex escapade and me telling him about it because I felt like I had cheated on him even though we weren't together he has watching porn more times than having sex with me. This I know because I have checked our search history and seen what he has been up to because I've heard him jerking off while I was in the other room, this he has done on numerous occasions. I have confronted him about it and he's shrugged it off saying I shouldn't be investigating him & I'm the one with the problem... I'm not so sure about that. The only time we get close to having sex or have sex is when he's drunk or we're both drunk and I enforce it...
I wouldn't say we have a healthy relationship because we are forever fighting about stupid things (because of me) and I'm forever nagging at him, trying to control him & everything else because I'm missing out and scared he will stray. I have tried everything from joking about him watching porn and me watching porn, seducing him, ignoring him, when he wants it trying to say no but it doesn't work. It's messing with my head because he says he loves me but doesn't show me any love. I now have low self-confidence, low self-esteem, feel like he doesn't want me anymore. I need help... PLEASE! I need my sex-life back.

Okay, as the person with the lower libido in my relationship---there is NOTHING that is a bigger turn off than pushing and pushing and nagging for sex.

The fact that you try to control him and are constantly snooping is another reason I'd push you away.

You need to get out of this relationship and get healthy YOURSELF. Masturbation isn't about you at all--it's scratching a quick itch.

And it's hard to feel in the mood for someone that makes you feel bad about yourself because you don't live up to THEIR expectations.

This isn't a healthy relationship for you. You should see a counselor about how to back off and have some trust.

@Synnen: Thank you. Your reply has truly hit home.