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-   -   Boyfriend= no sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/boyfriend-no-sex-45560.html)

  • Nov 29, 2006, 08:51 AM
    marylander
    Boyfriend= no sex
    Hello,

    After reading other posting about women also getting no sex I didn't feel alone. Me and my boyfriend have been together avery long time and at the start the sex was great. Could ask for better.:p But after time and putting on some weight in addition having to coped with his porn and ogling everything that walk down the street, Im getting tried.:o

    Some had mention that with the internet and easy assess to porn that it tear a part allot of marries and couples, I agreed with that. Getting back to my boyfriend he had said so many excuses to me" Im tried, someone home. Or he will make a excuses to say let go out.
    I have talked and ask what wrong, and even comforted him. Like I have caught him buying new sex DvD's. Told him oh! You can buy a new sex DvD BUT you can't touch me.:confused: Finally, My friends have told me Loses that weight he'll touch you again.

    But what scare me is he will after the weight is gone and then it will hurt my feeling's:(
    Because I'm a person that believe you love the whole person weight and all.if you love and care about then:D

    My friends have told me I need to be moving on... Cuss after you lose that weight others will come around. One more thing I have ask my boyfriend our you sexual attraction to me? He usually look to one side that oh yea I am BUT after that he will just drop it... :eek:

    I just started school (nursing school), and seem to be more worry about after I finsh school. Because I will be making more money then he will.

    Anyway, my question do you think the sexual attraction is there or should I move on?
  • Nov 29, 2006, 08:55 AM
    Krs
    You lose weight for yourself and no one else, do it to please yourself!
  • Nov 29, 2006, 09:39 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    I would lose a lot of weight, a dead beat boyfriend who would rather watch porn than be in love.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 10:09 AM
    PITTBOSS
    Move on... the weight thing is another issue... he has other issues so stop wasting your time. Now weight, your in nursing school, it is important to stay fit.
  • Nov 29, 2006, 10:45 AM
    kp2171
    I agree with fr chuck, you probably need to lose weight... his dead weight.

    Look... each person to their own thing. My fit cousin is married to and more attracted to women who aren't as thin. I can tell you my wife and I both picked up some weight early in our marriage and we were probably less sexually active during that time... when we both got back into shape we were both more driven and seemed to seek it out more than before.

    So it has been said that being more fit can increase your sex drive (piece in the paper about that just in the last two weeks)... but if all sex were was about physical fulfillment then we could all self stimulate to get off and be done with it. It is also about mental fulfillment.

    What ties into that? Well... it is true that being more fit can do some things that might help your sex life. Certainly feeling sexy and more confident about yourself can help you, not neglecting issues like stamina or the issues of things like high blood pressure, depression, etc... and then each person has their own "ideal" qualities they find sexually attractive

    I'm walking two lines here... on one hand, striving for physical fitness is a personal responsibility that pays dividends well beyond the bedroom. On the other hand, like I said, to each their own. The problem with the live and let live attitude is you need to extend it to him too. If he's only interested physically in fit people, how can you tell him its wrong for him? He is, of course, missing out on what you've already mentioned... that sex is much more about mental satisfaction, and he isn't there mentally...

    But what's "right" for him doesnt need to be right for you. If you think he's just not attracted to you because of physical issues, then you probably know this issue is a conflict that isn't likely to get resolved. So what if you do get fit again? Then what?. don't ever get older cause he only likes younger women?

    If you lose the weight do it for yourself. And DO NOT worry about whether hell touch you then or not. I'm sorry... if he doesn't, he's gone. Better to know reality. If he does, he still might need to be gone, cause the reality is he's still only interested in you in this one state.

    Do what's right for you. Based on this one issue, id probably lose him and focus on your studies and your health. Better your life in all ways you can... but this is a narrow view of your relationship.

    If you aren't sure if you can walk away, make some mental lists. What does he give you, what does he fail to give you? How is he working to make his life better for the future? Are there other issues, such as stress or depression or other problems in the relationship, that could be hindering his drive? Sexual compatibility is just one important issue here. Think about it, talk it out with yourself or here if you need to.

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