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Bobbynmegs · Apr 19, 2008, 09:08 AM

[F]My friend's daughter is 18 yrs. And has two kids. She is pregnant with her third child. My husband and I are unable to have our own children and the girl wants to give the baby up. She wants to let us take and raise the baby as our own. I don't know where to search and find the steps of adopting at birth. Is it possible or do we still need to go through an agency? :confused: I am frustrated because she is due in three months and I feel totally clueless on the matter, especially not having much time!! :eek: PLEASE HELP!!

Synnen · Apr 19, 2008, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Bobbynmegs

[F]My friend's daughter is 18 yrs. and has two kids. She is pregnant with her third child. My husband and I are unable to have our own children and the girl wants to give the baby up. She wants to let us take and raise the baby as our own. I don't know where to search and find the steps of adopting at birth. Is it possible or do we still need to go through an agency??:confused: I am frustrated because she is due in three months and I feel totally clueless on the matter, especially not having much time!!!!:eek: PLEASE HELP!!!

Get a lawyer. One that specializes in adoption or in family law.

You don't necessarily need an agency, but you DO need to make sure you take EVERY legal step, including (if you're in a state that allows it) the contract with the birthmother regarding contact with her child and updates.

Make SURE you outline ALL of the costs that you will supply for the birthmother-- all legal costs, medical costs, etc.

Some states do require that you have a background check to adopt, even if it is a private adoption.

If you get a lawyer in your area, they will be able to walk you through the steps you will need to take to adopt.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2008, 09:19 AM

Yes, it can be done privately but you almost for sure needs an attorney.
And it is great you want to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

Make sure that that you get not only the mothers permssion to adopt but also the fathers permission.

Bobbynmegs · Apr 19, 2008, 09:31 AM

The birthfather is unknown. In that case he wouldn't be there at the birth and not on the birth certificate. Would that make things smoother or harder? Also with a private adoption can it be settled with out going to court?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 19, 2008, 09:49 AM

It makes it a lot harder, since there is a father, and he does not have to be on the birth certificate to have rights. So there is requirements for a search for the father, and if it is found latter that there was a father and he was known and just not notified, he could file to have the adoption over turned. So your attorney will have to clear the adoption though the courts by search, news notification of adoption and more.

Synnen · Apr 19, 2008, 09:52 AM

Chuck answered your questions really well, in my opinion.

You will have to go to court, even with a private adoption. Adoption is a LEGAL process, and must be approved by the courts, much the same as a marriage.