Okay, I'm 12 and in gr.7. I'm around 5'3" and I weigh an approximate of 135 pounds. At school, I'm called "porker" and "fattie" by people, behind my back. I own a mini trampoline and one of those circular spinning things. I know I am average but I want to be below average. I dance 8 hours a week and eat fairly healthy. I just want to be skinny, I want the boys to like me.. Please help me!!

Sorry but you need boys to like you for you. During life you will find that the ones calling you names now are not worth being with anyway, who would even want to be with boys who are so mean as to call others names.

If you are averge than you are great, and need to learn to be happy with yourself.

I know all this, that's exactly what my mom says. You adults don't understand the pressures of middle school.

Yes we do, we were there- but we have the benefit of perspective. The pressures do not go way- sorry- but you can become better at dealing with them. The way to deal with this problem is to become happy with yourself and improve yourself esteem as Fr_Chuck says. An eating disorder will only make you less happy. Thin never means happy.

12 is much too young to be thinking about what boys think. You only have one childhood don't waste it trying (and failing) to be grown up.

Here is something I have realised about the mean things people say. Someone will tend to insult you with what would insult them the most. The girls calling you fat are worried they are fat! Pity them if anything that they are so insecure they have to put others down to make themselves feel better but don't comply- it won't make any of you happier.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Although the words may hurt to hear them, don't let that upset you. Be yourself and let your inner beauty shine through, that, the inner beauty, will take you further in life than the outer appearance could ever even dream of taking you. As you get older, you will see that the true friends like you for YOU, that has nothing to do with weight, it has to do with what type of person YOU are.

Hello This:

I don't think 12 is too young to start taking care of your body. There's only TWO things that will make you lose weight. Less food, or more exercise. If you exercise plenty, then eat less food.

I've seen some pretty ugly girls at 12 turn out to be BEAUTIFUL women!!

excon

Thx for your replies, but as I predicted the main message was "you're too young" and I only received one (slightly) helpful message, posted by excon! I was looking for an exercise plan or some healthy eating tips.

Welp, I'm 19 and by the time I was your age I was overweight also at your age people might say your too young but that's the perfect age to start that's the age I started at. I started getting into sports but I HATED it so bad and I finall stuck to football which was the one sport I hated the most because it was so much work. No matter how much I wanted to quick I knew it would pay off in the end. Through sports you get better and better stronger and faster MANY MANY more friends especially in High School sports. At your age I started playing football, all through high school my life completely changed I had so many friends I was getting extremely strong people accepted me and I'm actually here at UT playing football right now. Never think your too young to start planning ahead :)

Hang on a little bit. It's altogether possible that you'll "thin out" on your own over the next few years; it's not uncommon.

Your dancing is a good exercise plan. You can also try jogging. As for healthy eating, stick mostly with fruits, vegetables and lean meats ; limit fats, sweets and carbohydrates. Drink water and fruit juices ; limit milk and soda and, obviously at your age, no alcohol.

Thanks! And this time I truly mean it! s_cianci, strangely enough I actually am supposed to thin out by 16, and I have been over the years while getting taller! I'm just extremely impatient and don't want to wait until I'm 16 to be skinny! Also, about that alcohol remark, you'd be surprised (and disgusted) at how many 12 and 13 year olds I know who have gotten drunk. (or high, but that's a whole different story)

Hey, Thisby, I agree with most of this. But I would stay away from the juices and not drink any soft drinks at all. (Obviously no alcohol, which is full of calories and makes people eat more, aside from everything else.) Just drink plenty of water or milk. Most fruit juices are nearly pure sugar water. Juice is better than soft drinks because it has vitamins, but you will do even better by eating the fruits instead. Because juice has no fiber in it, you absorb the sugar really fast, which apparently makes you more susceptible to gaining weight. I don't understand how this works, but I've been reading about it recently.( I'm writing a diet book with a professor of nutrition.) It's much better to eat oranges or apples than to drink orange juice or apple juice. If you do drink juice, drink the kinds that are full of pulp. Like carrot juice or oj with as much pulp as you can stand...

Make sure to get LOTS of fiber, especially "soluble fiber," like the pectin in apples. Fiber fills you up, so you don't feel so hungry, and makes the food go through you faster, which means you don't extract quite as many calories from it. Fiber makes you lose weight and reduces your risk of diabetes and heart disease. It will make you live longer if you get into the habit of eating lots while you are young. You can get lots of high fiber cereals now that are great for breakfast. But don't eat them all day, as too much cereal may cause weight gain (I'm not sure about this, but the scientific papers seem to say that). And look on the side of the cereal package and make sure that at least half the fiber is the soluble kind.

Eat raw foods because they are harder for your body to digest and will tend to give you fewer calories for eating the same amount of food, so you are still full. Like raw carrots vs cooked carrots. If you like salads, eat the kind that are green (versus just iceberg lettuce) and don't put too much dressing on it, as that is high in fat and often sugar too.

I also agree about the exercise being good for you and your growing out of your round stage in a few years (try to be patient). My two sisters and I were all plump when we were teens and we all got skinnier when we got older. My older son did the same thing.

Another thing, Do Not Diet Strenuously! I mean don't try to lose actual weight at your age, just try to grow into the weight you are. You definitely need lots of nutrients and energy for all your activities and growth. So don't go around starving all the time.

Also, Get Plenty of Calcium for your bones, because this is the age when you can make your bones really dense. You are building the bone in your back and hips and legs that will last you the rest of your life and you want them to be really dense and hard. You do that by getting lots of calcium, lots of vitamin D, and by stressing the bones by jumping and running and dancing. Bones are actually made of living cells that build more bone the more you stress the bone by shocking it. If you sit around doing nothing, your bones become thin and bubbly, like a sponge and also more brittle. You don't want that!

When you are old you will be glad you drank lots of milk and danced now because you won't have broken hips like some of your friends and you'll still be able to jump around and dance.:) (It sounds weird now, but NOT having a broken hip is a fabulous thing when you are 80.) You can get calcium from milk, yogurt, and cheese and also many green vegetables and sardines if you like them (you can look all this stuff up). With all the exercise you do, you probably don't have to drink non fat milk, but maybe stick to 1% or 2% milk for cereal and don't eat too much cheese or ice cream.

Be moderate. Eat lots of small meals, and stop as soon as you aren't hungry any more. You can always eat again later if you get hungry. But don't let yourself get so hungry you want to eat a whole lot at once. Pretty much eat as much fruit as you like. Nuts, like almonds, are good too, but treat them as high protein, high fat food. They are good for you, but they are not low calorie. Avoid fried foods and high-fat, high-sugar things like donuts.

And I still agree with all those people who said not to worry about boy friends yet. That can wait, really.

But I don't blame you for not wanting to be called names. If it were me, I'd feel awful and want to go home and cry. If you would feel safe doing this, talk to one of your parents, or a counselor or a teacher at school and ask if the teachers and the administration can't do something to educate the other kids about not calling each other names. More and more schools are open to the idea that verbal abuse is not acceptable. Names CAN hurt. There are programs--people can come in from outside and give presentations, things like that.

You probably don't want to be singled out as the person who complained, but if there's someone you can trust, maybe you could say something confidentially and get something started. I bet you aren't the only kid this is happening too and everybody would benefit from some kind of anti-name calling program. Otherwise, just keep your chin up and have faith that you'll get through this happy, healthy and beautiful before you know it.

Good luck!
Asking

Here's the kind of thing I meant. It's about bullying in schools.
http://www.nwrel.org/nwedu/spring_99/article1.html

One great program I know about is KidPower. I have seen them give classes and they are really good. http://www.kidpower.org/Teens-Preteens.html

They give self defense classes, but they also teach about name calling.

I think loseing waight iis stupid unless you relly need to when I lost waight my scool found they put me down as an anorexic because I wayed 5st and I was 13 I now have to be wayed every week but I did feel much happier when I weighted less but I looked ill I was allways tired

Exercise. You should only exercise every other day and don't over do it. Here are some exercise plans.
Workout Training Plans

Exercise Synergy

Avoid foods that are bad for your metabolism and thyroid. Junk foods, fast foods, greasy foods and prepackaged foods are the worst. Avoid things like Lunchables. You need to eat good homecooked foods that cleanse your digestive system and eat plenty of fruit and veggies.

If you follow a good diet you probably will thin out as you get older but it is good to lose some excess weight for your heart and healths sake.

Hey I'm 14 and went through excatly the same stage as you did. I found though when I ended year 7 and started year 8 I lost a lot of "puppy fat" and became normal.

I agree with thematrix12 in a few years you will lose that kid weight. Plus and more importantly you are only 12 and 5'3" so you are probably going to be tall and thin by the time you are 16 or 17. Then when all the guys who made fun of you want a date you can tell them sorry you are just a little to short and fat for me. Keep dancing have you ever seen a overweight dancer? Don't get down on yourself sometimes you just have to patient with nature. Just eat right you have to eat do not starve yourself and Drink mostly water.

I no my parents are like middle school is no tbad they don't no what we go through now ah days back then it was easy in school now they have no clue