My wife and I have been married 19 years in California. She had one son and I had three children prior to our marriage. We subsequently have one 18 year old son together. We want to make a trust to provide for inheritance. She wants a 50 50 split. I would leave half of our estate to my four children and she would leave half of our estate to her two children. In this way her son would get 25% our son would get 37% and my three children would get 12 1/2 percent each. I have been the major wage earner and owned the house before we married. (the house is now in Joint Tenancy). This seems unfair to me. I want to leave each child 1/5 or 20% sharing equally. But CA is a community property state - Do I and my three children lose?

I agree with you, all children should get equal parts...

Have all the children lived with you? This could be a matter of perception... if "your kids" only were there every other week, I can see that they might not really feel like "family" to your wife. I know that I don't really consider my brother's step-daughter to be as much family as his kids, simply because I hardly ever see the girl.

On the other hand, you can point out to your wife that, once you two are dead, the only thing that the kids will have to rely on is each other. And nothing is as likely to cause lifelong rifts and dissension among the kids as being left different amounts. Because it's hard to see that as anything but "they loved you more".

I would think everyone would get an equal share but family dynamics and history play a big part in these decisions and every situation is different.

All the children should be equal, but be concerned, if you die first, and she gets everything, she can write your kids out completely.

They may have thought of this - they are talking about a trust instead of a will. Of course, if the wife can invade principal you're back to the same problem.