I'm hoping somebody can please help with my problem... I have 2 beautiful little girls with my ex-husband, when we got a divorce I got full custody and he has visitation rights. I recently got married in July, my husband wants to adopt my daughters and want to give them his last name. One problem... my ex does not want to give up his rights. He does not see my girls, calls once in a blue moon to see how they are doing. My oldest who is 5 years old never wants to talk to him because of the way he used to treat her. He neglected my youngest when she was in his care; she was constantly dirty, had diapers rashes and was always sick. His court order for child support is $25 a month because he had no job at the time. My husband loves my girls as if they were his and he treats them the same... I was wondering how can I change my girls last names to my husbands without my ex's consent? I currently reside in Kentucky and am in the military as well as my husband. My ex lives in New York.

You can't.

You cannot change your children's last names without your ex's consent... but you said he wouldn't sign over his rights to allow your husband to adopt... these are 2 separate issues.

Your children do not need to be adopted by your husband in order to change their last names... while you still need your ex-husbands consent, it would just be consent to change their last name, not to adopt.

First, a person can use ANY name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. So when you can have the kids start using your husband's name if you want. But their legal name remains unchanged. Its also possible, that your ex could force you to use his name if he brings suit.

As Macksmom said, your husband is not going to be able to adopt them without their bio father's consent. But there may be a way to convince him. If his child support was set when he wasn't working and is working now, then file for a modification. If he's faced with increased support payments he may be more willing to relinquish his rights in favor of your husband, since that would also relieve him of a support responsibility.

I have already filed for modification but there is a big problem with that since my ex states that he went to court yesterday and the case was postponed for January, apparently my rep didn't show up... I wasn't aware that I needed representation since all they needed was the docs that I supported them with. I've asked him to give up rights by telling him that I would drop the child support order... and nothing. My husband even told me that he would pay my ex to give up rights. Still nothing. He doesn't do anything for the girls and I'm not sure what else to do, just waiting I guess. My girls call my husband daddy and their biofather by his name. If I file for name change for my kids... is it possible that the judge will grant it even if biofather doesn't consent? Are there any grounds that I can persuade the judge to grant the change?

You needed to show up in court or have someone representing you there. You can't file for a modification and not have both parties represented. Someone dropped the ball not informing you of that.

The possibility of a judge involuntarily terminating rights is EXTREMELY small. If you can show that a) your ex has had no involvement with the kids for an extended period and b) he is refusing to relinquish out of spite, a judge might do it but only to clear the way for adoption. So you would have to have the adoption papers all ready.

I know my ex is doing it out of spite, that's the problem... he constantly talks to me about his personal life and he calls when he's drunk, he doesn't just call for the girls. There is no problem with adoption since my husband wants to adopt our girls. I guess there is no possible way then... thanks anyway

As Scott said, your children can use any last name... it just won't be changed legally. When I got married I went through the same thing (wanting to change her name)... and I didn't even give her her dad's last name! She has MY last name, and I still am not able to legally change it unless he consents!
I never let her use my husbands last name just because it seems a lot for a child. I mean their LEGAL last name is one thing, but they are using a different last name... just seems kind of messy to me.

It is HIGHLY unlikely that you petition to change their last name to your husbands without the father agreeing and the judges agree. :(

Also, start building a case. If you can prove the bio father doesn't support or have a relationship with the children, it is possible that his rights can be terminated. But keep in mind, you are in for an uphill battle if he fights it.

It's funny, I too am going through a similar situation myslelf, almost to the 'T'. My daughter's father won't allow my finace' to adopt her when we marry, states he won't consent to me changing her name when I get marrid although her last name is the same as mine, and he's not on the birth certificate anyway. He did however say he would consider it if I hyphenated her name vs. changing it completely to my "soon-to-be" husband's.

I have however found out that you can change the last name of a minor child if you have legal custody of the child. Have you considered filing a petition for custody? That's the bridge I'm getting ready to cross.

This may apply where you live... but I know firsthand it does not apply everywhere.

I am in Ohio, I have full/sole legal custody of my daughter and have had so since birth. I still have to get consent from her bio-father in order to legally change her last name.

I have full sole custody of my 2 kids and there is an order of protection against biological father and I want to be able 2 change their last name but he will not sign off rights but my kids want nothing 2 do with him what can I do

I have full sole custody of my 2 kids and there is an order of protection against biological father and I want to be able 2 change their last name but he will not sign off rights but my kids want nothing 2 do with him what can I do