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    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #1

    Jun 5, 2007, 12:54 PM
    How to break things off with a married man
    I have be sleeping with a married man for the last 2 1/2 yr it may be 3 but anyway I really like this guy and I'm trying to hang in there cause when I try to ask him about us he always say lets see how things go. Also when he goes on family vacations the day he comes back he comes see me. I don't know if he is say this because he miss me or just want to sleep with me. I would like to know if I should cause him is this going to go anywhere and have him think about it why he is on vacation with his family.
    fix-what-you-broke's Avatar
    fix-what-you-broke Posts: 305, Reputation: 61
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    #2

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:04 PM
    He goes on vacation with his family because he is a married man with a family.
    I have no sympathy for you and I'm not sure you will get much here, maybe because people don't like homewreckers. (thats what you will be known as if this gets out... and it will get out.}
    Has it sunk in yet? I'm not getting at you, I don't know you, you can sleep with whomever you like, but at least make it a single man and not somebody else's husband.
    He says "lets see how it goes" to keep you sweet for the next sex session he has with you, think about it, if he turned round and told you he is never going to leave his wife for you, you are not exactly going to put out for him are you?
    Im guessing he has also told you that him and his wife don't sleep together anymore/shes put on weight/they are not compatible/they fight a lot/he has to stay with her for (insert excuse here)...
    Call him, tell him you either want him with you perminantly, full time, by the end of next week or you will walk away, I'm betting you never hear from him again.
    At least think of his wife in all this, as its bloody obvious nobody else is. How would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another woman's bed?
    What goes around comes around... if you are dishing it, at least know if you can take it when it happens to you.
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:05 PM
    What other reason do you need than HE'S MARRIED!? He has a family indicating children maybe? He's using you for sex by the way or he would have left her already. Maybe on their vacation he falls off a cliff and his poor wife and children don't have to put up with his loserness any longer. One can only hope.
    fix-what-you-broke's Avatar
    fix-what-you-broke Posts: 305, Reputation: 61
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:07 PM
    You can't just blame the man though, it takes two to have a 3 year affair
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #5

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fix-what-you-broke
    how would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another womans bed?
    Agree, how can anybody do this you're not all to blame but I'm a guy and that guy is a pig and as far as I'm concern you and him belong together. That so hurtful to do this to another person espically his wife. Don't you have any morals?
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:15 PM
    Yes, it was like this him and his wife was not together and his sister got us together and that was that after that.
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #7

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:36 PM
    OK, what should I do , should I seat him down a tell him scent it does not look like they thing are not going will for me with use my be we should end it before someone should get hurt.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #8

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:36 PM
    Going into the third year and you are still waiting to "see how tings go"? Can't you see yet? Women can be so blind, and usually because they want to do be that blind.

    If this were your husband and you found out about his mistress, what would you do? Maybe you would put up with it and say it is okay and "see how things go".

    Wake up. How can you leave this man? Easy. Do not, under any circumstances, be there for him. Do not answer the phone, an email, a tect message, or a knock on the door. Cut off all contact from him and force yourself to not contact him either. Then get the rest of your life off the shelf and back into living.

    You have cheated yourself for almost three years into believing this man really cared for you. He cares allright, he cares that his booty call is still there waiting for his whim and fancy. Just ask yourself this - he cheats on his wife and family - who else does he cheat with beside you? IF, by the sheer stroke of luck, this man would leave his family for you, you can bet he would be out and about cheating on you. Also, he would most likely be as poor as a mouse and need you to support him. His wife's attorney will make sure he is picked clean. Between alimony and child support and property, so much wonderful things to look forward for you and this guy.

    This is the truth. Unvarnished. The real deal.

    Please take back yourself respect and make a new beginning for yourself. You do deserve to be treated better, by a man who only has you in his life and not afraid to show it.

    Good luck.
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #9

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:43 PM
    I don't what to not answer his phone calls. I told him no before.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #10

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:47 PM
    You do not pick up the phone. You let the phone ring. Walk away when the phone rings. Leave the apt or house if you have to. Shut the ringer off so you do not hear the ringing. Sooner or later he WILL get the idea.

    You can write him and tell him that you will not be his entertainment any longer. Tell him that if he does contact you, you will expose him. Go to the police and tell them that you had the affair, you broke it off, and this man is harassing you now. Get tough with the s.o.b. Want me to come and help you? I would, for free.
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #11

    Jun 5, 2007, 01:51 PM
    I can not do that cause I'm good with his people and some hoildays and birthday I will have to see him so all of that is can not do. Sorry
    Megg's Avatar
    Megg Posts: 421, Reputation: 53
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    #12

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:05 PM
    First I think you need to learn how to write properly or a bit better. Your writing is horrible and I'm sorry but I want to give some advice but I can't understand anything your saying.

    You're a homewrecker, the other women. Your having sex with a married man, you're a bad person and you clearly have no self-worth. If you did you wouldn't have degraded yourself in the first place. Grow up and get your own man. Doubt that will happen any time soon, because a REAL man doesn't want a women like you. Hopefully you'll grow up a bit and make some changes. Then later down the road maybe you'll be worthy of some real love. Other then that I think you deserve to be alone (without a relationship)

    If you can't understand why he goes away with HIS family then your clearly in need of some professional help. You may have a screw lose upstairs. I suggest getting some help from someone professionally because they can help you understand what clearly your not. Also, they may be able to teach you better speech. Good luck. You need it. Ohh, and what goes around comes around. Years from now, if you get married and think life is good, I bet your husband will be out having sex with a women... then you'll feel tough love. Watch out for Karma, kicks you in the ars.
    fix-what-you-broke's Avatar
    fix-what-you-broke Posts: 305, Reputation: 61
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    #13

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by help82
    ok, what should i do , should i seat him down a tell him scent it does not look like they thing are not going will for me with use my be we should end it before someone should get hurt.
    I'm sorry I really don't understand this at all?
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #14

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fix-what-you-broke
    he goes on vacation with his family because he is a married man with a family.
    i have no sympathy for you and im not sure you will get much here, maybe because people dont like homewreckers. (thats what you will be known as if this gets out...and it will get out.}
    has it sunk in yet? im not getting at you, i dont know you, you can sleep with whomever you like, but at least make it a single man and not somebody elses husband.
    he says "lets see how it goes" to keep you sweet for the next sex session he has with you, think about it, if he turned round and told you he is never going to leave his wife for you, you are not exactly gonna put out for him are you?
    Im guessing he has also told you that him and his wife dont sleep together anymore/shes put on weight/they are not compatible/they fight a lot/he has to stay with her for (insert excuse here).....
    call him, tell him you either want him with you perminantly, full time, by the end of next week or you will walk away, im betting you never hear from him again.
    at least think of his wife in all this, as its bloody obvious nobody else is. how would you feel if your husband was out sneaking around in another womans bed?
    what goes around comes around....if you are dishing it, at least know if you can take it when it happens to you.
    I went around with a married man and you can never know their intentions... but am glad I got out of it pretty quickly than I assumed I would, though I was married too... but knew what I was doing was unethical... each to his own... and when I thought of his wife, I wondered what she would go through if she ever got to know... think about other people involved and not always about yourself.
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #15

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:25 PM
    This is what I wrote the last person told me that I should not answer his phone call and if he keeps calling to call the police. And I said I can not do that because I'm cool with the family and we have some of the same friends and I would have to see him on holidays and birthdays.
    help82's Avatar
    help82 Posts: 7, Reputation: -3
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    #16

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:32 PM
    And to RAYNEFREAK I don't need help I understand why his is going on vacation so you are miss reading what I'm writing so thank you. Look who is call themselves a freak.
    Greg Quinn's Avatar
    Greg Quinn Posts: 486, Reputation: 85
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    #17

    Jun 5, 2007, 02:44 PM
    I think you are very vulnerable. I believe you are in love and in your heart of hearts you know exactly what is going on. Do you know if his wife knew what you guy's were up to he would LEAVE you in a heart beat! That's not love. If you like sitting in the cheap seats and observing this and playing the part then go ahead, but you are in a lose lose situation. Don't get me wrong though... He loves you, and cares for you and would be really jealous if you hooked up with someone else. Just so you know that is an obsession that never works out. I bet you are pretty, are you English or do you have another background?
    I think you could do better, you have to face the facts that it's not going to end well. Rent "sidewalks of new york" that's a good movie to show you the inevitable outcome of an affair with the family man. Raynefreak... That was a harsh comment to post on here about litteracy, people can understand her even if you can't. It's a site for people of all educations and languages, I admire her for reaching out and asking questions even if there is a endless book of excuses to stay with the user.
    Megg's Avatar
    Megg Posts: 421, Reputation: 53
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    #18

    Jun 5, 2007, 08:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by help82
    and to RAYNEFREAK i don't need help i understand why his is going on vacation so you are miss reading what im writing so thank you. Look who is call themself a freak.

    I think your completely childish. You clearly can't take constructive criticism. As for my name, I'm not calling myself a freak. Show's how little you know about people. Why do you call yourself Help? Because you need it? Come on, childish comment's. Their's nothing wrong with getting help from someone or talking to someone. I think that was a cheap shot, and for the record the name stems from a video game called BloodRayne. I don't know about you, but I play video games like an adict. Good luck to you. I think you took my words too out of context. Merely was advice. Take it or leave it.
    littleme123's Avatar
    littleme123 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Jun 5, 2007, 10:05 PM
    Yeah I'm in the same boat only I'm new to it... ive been seeing a married man for 3 months and I already don't know what to do... 3 years is a long time though... and its not all your fault or my fault... and its not all about sex either... its so confusing... im very curious to know what happens...
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #20

    Jun 6, 2007, 10:26 AM
    Bottom line, you are postitioning yourself where you are not wanted. A commitment has been made this man and his wife. You have no business in this relationship.
    You don't know what to do? Leave him alone. Respect the commitment of marriage. What goes around comes around. Some day you will know the pain that you are causing his wife. It's not pretty.

    As for anyone else that is doing the same thing - the same advice applies. Get out and find a man of your own.

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