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justaskchefnic · Apr 19, 2007, 11:32 AM

I met him when I was 18, and I left him when I was 28, It has been a year now and we are divorced. I left him because I needed him to be more, I thought if I left him he would realize how much he loved me and come back and he never did. What I needed when I was 18 was a far cry from what I needed when I was 28, he just never seemed to grow up. I went from a factory worker, to a college grade and now in a career I love. I have had many successes to many to metion, but he was not there for any of them. He valued is friends and family more than me. And the better I became the less he seemed to look at me, and one day I just dissapeard. I tried to keep his attention he just saw me as nothing special, but that was not how I saw him. The day I left him, I waited for him to call, tell me he didn't want to spend one day without me, months passed no calls, nothing. Even during the holidays, birthdays nothing. I am better off without him I know that. But that feeling of being abanded is still there, a very lonely place in my heart. I don't know how to mend that. If there is someone else has gone through that or similar how did you get through it?

vixychick · Apr 19, 2007, 12:07 PM

I have gone through the same kind of thing, met my ex when I was 15 and we were together 10 years, we were engaged and buying a house together. But he started to change, and chose his friends over me time and time again. I no longer felt important, I tried to work through this with him, but then he dumped me. I like you know I am better off without him, but sometimes I feel like there is a hole in my heart that only he can fill, but when I feel like that I realise it's up to me to fill that hole, so now even though its hard I try my best to live my life to this motto
'Love like you've never been hurt, sing like nobody is listening, dance like there is nobody around, work like you don't need the money, and live like its heaven on earth.'

I know easier said than done but trying to do this everyday as least makes me smile for awhile

vlee · Apr 19, 2007, 02:51 PM

Instead of dwelling on him, try focusing on yourself. Join a gym, a dance class, anything you might enjoy. Work on your career or head back to school. Distract yourself like crazy, until you realize you don't miss him anymore. If picking up hobbies doesn't do the trick, talk to a counselor about your feelings.

scorpio124 · Apr 21, 2007, 11:30 PM

You are to be commened on your accomplishments but I get the impression that "it's all about you" just from the brief comments you wrote above. I am not trying to discredit you but I suspect that your husband possibly felt left out or insignficant in your marriage. You might want to honestly take a deeper look inside and determine how you both contributed to the breakdown of your marriage. Based on the info above... there seemed to be some serious communication problems in your marriage. Do you really feel abandoned ? Or perhaps you feel rejected or need closure. Personally, I feel that 10years is wasted already... the rest of your life will be as good as you want it to be! Good luck