I think we are all so great to take care of others, however how can we learn to take care of ourselves more? What things can one do to take care of their own self-worth, self-respect, etc.

Dear Teaching,

I see that you have made a whopping 193 posts :)! I'm wondering what your posts concerned, and if you know so much, why don't you know the answer to this basic question? I also wasn't sure if your question was "What do YOU (the respondent) do for your self-worth?" Or "What does ONE (anyone) do for her/his self-worth?"

I don't know if I can answer both questions, because although I believe that there are some things that are the same which anyone can do to nurture self-worth, there are some things in particular that I do to nurture mine:

The former are, be your best self as often as you can. When you can't be gentle with yourself about it and just start over again the next day. This is in ALL areas of life.

The latter are, for instance, I don't have a boyfriend/lover/husband and haven't for some time; I love flowers, so I buy them for myself to spruce up and make my home (apartment) aromatic. I also have an extremely difficult life, by my lights, and I self-comfort, a lot, or else I would not have survived as long as I have. Sometimes I do this with food, but that is rare. I do it often by playing a lot of my favorite music, or watching especially inspiring or funny videos or comedy shows.

There are many, many other ways to nurture a feeling of self-worth (being valuable; if only to oneself) and self-respect. I also read a lot of inspirational books. Two good (little) ones for starters are: Life's Little Instruction Book and Life's Little Instruction Book II, by H. Jackson Brown.

If this answer has been helpful to you, please rate it, and also, depending on how helpful (valuable) send me a thank you payment! Cheers!

Thank you for your response. I feel you have misunderstood my intentions of my post completely. I am here to learn and also help others. My posts are to converse and to help/share notes, that's all.

I'm sorry but I don't know what self-respect or worth is. I don't have any. I've been abused mentally by my father all my life until I got out at 19. Now 21 I am depressed and lonely even with the fiancé I live with. It's ruining my life. How does someone like me gain self-worth or esstem?

I am sorry to hear that, I think you should consider counselling to start. There are many experts in this site that will give you wonderful advice on how to do this. I believe there is always people in our life that come to help us through building our self-esteem. I am positive someone will walk in your life to bring you that strength.

Well thanks. I've made post's before about things like this. I just can't stop feeling like I just don't deserve to be happy... truely and more then a few hour's happy.

You are worth it, please don't ever feel that way. You deserve happiness and love. Just think it and it will happen, I promise.

Yes, it's a very easy thing to say, but harder to feel. Sure I have a fiancé whom supports me, but even he doesn't know what I've delt with. It's hard to be happy with who you are when you don't know who you are. It's also hard to be happy with yourself when you've been feed you're a pile of dung all your life.

You can change it by thinking positively, trust me it works. Read some of blueroses posts, they really are helpful. Don't give up on yourself.

OK I guess I can read them. How do I get more green squares? I want more, its my birthday soon. Lol.

Happy Birthday, take care

Myabe it sounds too glib, but if you do not like yourself and accept yourself, you do not know how to value yourself and cannot see your own self worth, not to mention that you do not even know how to respect yourself and your decisions.

Having been there and lived through that and gotten all the merit badges! Well, almosst all, I am sure I failed to get some of them.

But I had to learn all that the very hard way and years of therapy before realizing that I was worth more than I thought and that I deserved more than what I was giving myself.

So how do I take care of myself in those respects? I have come to depend on the only higher power that can truly be counted on, that is the Lord. I have had to learn to let many things go and give it in prayer. I have learned not to associate with ANYONE who does not support my highest good. I do not seek out self destructive activiities such as drug or alcohol abuse or getting into relationships with men who are only in it for their own power and their own selfishness. Also, I take better care of my appearance - dressing down all the time lends to the lower self image. Does not mean I dress up everyday but I do dress better because I like the way I look with nicer clothes.

I "treat" myself to small things such as a massage or a manicure. Maybe there is a new book out that I really want and so I will save and purchase it. Little perks to the self that come as treasures. I also screen television better - garbage in, garbage out. And there is a lot of garbage on television and the movies. Finding ways to accent the positive inside me. Not associating with characters and events or activiities that take away from being emotionally healthy.

Not sure I answered your question, Teaching. Just ask if you need any clarification.

Yes, Teaching, it seems I did misunderstand the purpose of your post, which I would have no way of knowing as this is the first of your posts I've ever seen. Also, I don't think you worded it very well. Finally, new people must be joining this forum every day. You can't expect them to divine your reasons for posting if you don't state them clearly, but thanks for telling me.

I worded it the best way I know how, however if you seem to know how many posts so I do feel your comment was unfair. No matter who joins - we are all here to support each other - bottom line. I think I have the answer taking care of yourself worth is not accepting statements such as these.

Well I always think to myself you are just as good and as smart intellectually as the next person.

I always say, I am no better and no worse than anyone else on the planet, whether they be famouse or poor, I class everyone as equal.

Well, except for the French.









It's a joke people... kind of

Seriously though I think one of the best ways to do increase yourself worth is to start putting good thoughts into your head. Most people say things like "I can't do it" or "I'm not good enough" so your already defeated before you try. You have to put good things into your brain if you want good results out of it.

Sorry, one and all. Meant to choose "disagree". I never did that before, so I guess was not used to hitting that button. Sorry :(.

My comments remain:

Avataress,
I am sure it must be hard to be new. Stick around, open your heart to the beauty that this site has. If you are unusure what a post means, by all means, feel free to ask :).

Know who you are, and what you want, and how best to go about getting it, and be willing to help others get theirs. Always have a positive attitude especially to yourself.

I completely disagree, you can't buy self worth with flowers or anything else, I think selfworth comes from searching deep inside yourself to find the true you, once you discovered yourself you try to bring out the best of yourself and you will be ha