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layla18 · Mar 15, 2007, 11:40 PM

I don't know what to do. It's the worst thing in the entire world. One night when we were both really drunk and she was away, I had sex with my best friends boyfriend. This is COMPLETELY unlike me, whenever I'm in a relationship I'm devoted and faithful. Cheating makes me sick. There have been issues of cheating with people close to me and I hate it. I like him, we are close friends, and I've had an on and off crush on him, but I always thought that if the opportunity arose, id have enough self respect, as well as respect for my friend, to say no. they have been dating for over a year and he even told me that he's cheated on her before. Its bad stuff, but he really is a good guy. He loves her, but I don't think he is in love with her anymore, and he doesn't know how to let her down. I also have issues where I need guys attention, its bad and stupid and wrong but I don't know its how I am. But I can't believe we both took our issues and did something that will eventually hurt her so much. Some of our friends know and everyone I know keeps telling me that I have to make sure she doesn't find out, but I don't know what to do. I could never face telling her, but I'm not this person. I'm not this sick coward. She deserves to know. I can't do this. I don't know know who to talk to or what to do. But I guess it doesn't matter at all because I don't deserve it anyway. I'm the one who is wrong here. And nothing I can ever do will take it back.

mrsmoz · Mar 16, 2007, 01:25 AM

Oh dear, this is bad isn't it. I know your admittin your in the wrong but she is going to be deverstated when she finds out. Her boyfriend and her best friend. Me and my mates have always said boys come and go but friends are 4ever. And she is not going 2 accept the excuse we were drunk. In my opinion she needs to know. Her boyfriend is a cheat and has cheated on more than 1 occasion. She deserves better

moomin007 · Mar 16, 2007, 01:49 AM

Take your courage in your hands and tell your friend the truth.
She will find out eventually as you've already said a lot your friends know (how did they find out by the way? ).
She will be hurt and she may never forgive you but it will be better to hear it from you than from some gossiper hoping to get one up on you!

She deserves for you to be the friend you thought you were and have honesty from you.

Krs · Mar 16, 2007, 02:12 AM

Honesty is the key in this situation.

Be prepared that your friend is going to be gutted, and probably not class you as a best friend. Sorry but it's the truth. She will be hurt and its entirely normal that she will feel this way, not detrayed by 1 (her boyfriend) but by 2!

layla18 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:47 PM

Thanks guys. And I know you're all right. I just really don't know what to do. Oh and people found out because I told some of my close friends and so did he. It's a mess. He probably doesn't even think about it or anything anymore, I know he knows it was wrong but I don't think he realizes how wrong. He told me to just forget it ever happened. How can you forget that? Ugh. I really hate myself for this and I know I deserve it. I really hope I get the courage to take all of your advice and finally tell her because I know she deserves the truth. I really will try. I'm sorry this is just.. I don't know. Hard to admit to myself let alone her or everyone else I know. I don't want to be thought of as 'that girl' among my friends and everyone from now on. But I guess I brought this upon myself

Ahhhg

AsherBlu85 · Mar 18, 2007, 06:58 PM

I had a similar situation happen with me. I know you feel terrible but on the real you've got to tell her. Don't tell her about what he has done because that's going to look real juvenile. Sit her down and be ready. Im not going to judge you because you're probably not a bad person you just made a bad decision.

layla18 · Mar 18, 2007, 08:25 PM

Thank you, and yeah its hard to deal with because its so so unlike me. Its so messed up, I feel so confused about everything now because its like, well if I don't even know myself, how can I trust anyone else. I was so sure of who I was and then this happened and me and him were friends and I liked him and stuff but I never EVER would have acted on it sober even though I wanted to, his girlfriend is one of my best friends. Its just.. I don't know. Too much stuff. And the problem is, I don't live there anymore, I live on a different CONTINENT now so I feel like it's a cop out to just tell her and then have him have to deal with it because he's there and I'm not. And id feel like such a sleeze just telling her online or on the phone but what choice do I have? But I guess that no matter how I look at it, this situation is not going to be perfect. I have to face this

Krs · Mar 20, 2007, 12:49 AM

I would suggest to speak to her face to face and not online or on the phone. If you tell her online she may just go offline and not want to hear from you no more and on the phone, well, she may just hang up on you.

This is a very sensitive situation, either way she is going to be so hurt.

Have u seen her yet?

Barrabas · Mar 20, 2007, 01:00 AM

In one way or another, she will know of what happened - and there's no better person to let her into this but you. It won't feel good but it will definitely feel right :)

layla18 · Mar 20, 2007, 11:16 AM

No but we live in different continents, let alone countries. And I'm not going to be seeing her for months. So I really don't have s choice. But in don't want to do it online or the phone because she deserves better than that. And I know you're all right. I will have to tell her eventually. I just need to get the courage because I know that after this, my friendships with her and everyone else I know are going to change completely. But in know that's my own fault. Its just hard. But I know it will be a million times harder on her.

letmetellu · Mar 22, 2007, 07:24 PM

What a very sick and stupid thing to do to your best friend. I hope that the few minutes of drunken sex is worth the price of the lost of a lifetime of friendship.

letmetellu · Mar 23, 2007, 08:31 PM

Comments on this post
Kriscool disagrees: Your words are Powerful, pick them wisely or you may hurt thee who are sorry. Make sure your not being mean to a confused girl.

Kriscool... I would agree with your statement if she had blamed her indiscretion on being confused but she didn't she blamed it on being so very drunk. She will probably sometime in her life get very drunk again, what are we to expect from her then??

Ved Shukla · Mar 23, 2007, 10:10 PM

You need not to regret. Because it very natural in your age. If someone get exposure then I happens. But if you feel gulity then you should be careful in future.

kepi · Mar 23, 2007, 11:35 PM

You should still tell her. She's going to be hurt, but she's be a lot more hurt if she heard it from someone else's mouth, especially since people tend to tweak the Circumstances to make them more chaotic

talaniman · Mar 24, 2007, 07:04 AM

You cheated while drunk a big mistake, but why blabb it to others? You have a lot of issues to deal with, start with being honest and not drinking. Get help if you are confused as how to go about it.

Mzzsashavashti · Apr 1, 2007, 07:04 PM

Whatever you do... don't date him!! If he cheated on your friend he will do it to you!

Matt3046 · Apr 1, 2007, 07:13 PM

Just blame him and the alcohol.

One of murphys laws is "Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate."
Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes it cost us friends.
And you don't have to tell her.

kepi · Apr 1, 2007, 11:05 PM

Look, things happen. I know it seems like you're going to lose your friend, and let me tell you, you will, but it'll fix itself. Not telling him is basically losing the chance of fixing that friendship. Ever.

Kriscool · Apr 2, 2007, 07:18 AM

Yep

Jolly_rancher · Apr 3, 2007, 03:01 PM

If I was you in this situation, I would have told her the day she came back from where she was, I wouldn't have waited so long, she probably already knows if it's been this long. I hope maybe she doesn't, you think she would say something to you if she knew, but sometimes people are mysterious and they wait until you say something, because they're afraid and in denial. I hope you tell her asap, when you see her face to face.