Hi everyone calls me Tiny. I'm a 15 year old girl and I just was hoping this site could help me.
I've been having flashbacks of a somewhat recent event. Usually, every other weekend I spend with my biological father, his fiancée, and sometimes my half brother comes along. Usually my half brother doesn't visit all the time because he has soccer games and such. He lives such a nicer life than me. He's the better looking sibling with a four bedroom house while I'm just the stressed out one with a filled to the brim two bedroom apartment to call home. Usually when he comes over we don't really talk and if we do it's either a perverted joke or insult which leads to a play fight. But one night he changed. I admit to being drunk a bit. I was stressed and I usually try to sleep without nightmares or just to stop thinking that way. It started with when I caught him watching porn on his iPod. He made me watch it with him. Then we selected for a bit. Then we interacted again with a sexual truth or dare game. I was dared to take off my shirt and he kept taunting me and said I wouldn't do it so I did. I put back on my shirt after though. Then the sexual stuff died down as I got another drink and he went to get some chips then we started acting brotherly-sisterly (might I mention the only time he was ever like that towards me since I reunited with him two years ago) by eating together and playing. But then it got sexual again. We started talking about sexual topics and he began to play the nervous game with me. He felt my chest and in between my legs and it felt weird but I didn't do anything to stop it. That's when he turned on the heater and turned off the lights as we planned to sleep on the floor tonight (I don't remember why). I do remember falling on the way there as I was drunk. He carried me to the front of the heater since I was shivering. He began to cuddle me as we lay on the floor. He kept telling me not to fall asleep but I was just really tired. He began to touch my chest again. I don't know what came over me but I fed his insanity and let him tell me what to do. Eventually he told me to give him a handjob which I couldn't do because it was too disgusting so I stopped. Somehow I ended up on top of him and he said for two minutes to rub against him. We didn't have sex that night but that was close enough to it. For the two weeks spent at home I couldn't think correctly anymore. I still felt him in my hand and I still saw his face when I rode him. It haunts me still. The next time I went to my father's he was there yet he only touched me that night which is a great improvement. I haven't seen him since and those nights took place about a month or so ago. I've tried to get help but no one understands how scared I am of him and how disgusted and horrified I feel towards myself. Apparently my father tells me he'll be coming back from New York or wherever in about a month and I'm scared of what might happen. I don't know what to do. I just can't tell my parents because I might never see my father again. I can't bear hearing about my brother and whenever I see him be it a picture or in real life my heart stops and I start to hyperventilate in fear. I just wish he was my brother. I wish this never happened...

So he is sexually attacking you, the adult, the other boy who ?

I apologize the site won't let me edit this. I'm new here haha... I'll just post the rest in a bit.

Cleaned up the thread.

First you need to stop drinking. You are only 15 and you clearly can't handle it.

Second, you don't say how old he is. Sounds like you share a father but different mothers.

To me it sounds like when you didn't shy away from watching porn with him (you claim he made you, but I don't understand how, he decided to see how far you would go. Since you were somewhat compliant, he kept pushing the boundary. He may, however, feel as weird about it as you do. He may not mention it again.

Now what he did was probably illegal. But I don't see you wanting him in jail So, the next time you see him wait for him to mention it. If he does you tell him it will NOT happen again and to never mention it again.

Haunts you, you made the choice to do this also, he is not to blame any more than you, you drank, watched porn with him, and played some sexual games, I am sorry what did you think was going to happen