I've been working at my place of employment for about two years now--I started at age 17 and am now 19. Every other week I work with a man that is about 50 years of age. In the last 4-5 months I've noticed that this coworker seems to really like me. I believe he is physically attracted to me and it makes me sick. I have quite a list of things that he does that are inappropriate in my eyes.

He says "You look beautiful" nearly every time I see him--even when I know I'm not looking the best!

Another thing that this man does is ask a lot of personal questions--I never really noticed it, but he's really in my business. For example, I told him I would be going away for college in about a year--he asked "Will you live there?" "Did you look at any colleges that were closer?" "I'll miss you—everyone here will miss you".

Another thing that he does that has gradually annoyed me is constantly talking me up--"She's the best, forget the rest" "I couldn't have done that without you" “You do everything right” . His talking me up is irritating and overdone.

Another occasion: when no one was around he made a gesture to give me a hug and I didn’t know how to turn him down. I gave him a sort of stiff uncomfortable hug and he was delighted--when we parted ways for the day he said "I needed that hug".

I usually wear flip flops at work, and he will occasionally make a comment on my painted toenails—“They look nice”…he’s even commented on painted fingernails.

Another occasion happened just recently. The weather is warming up and my coworker said "Have you had the chance to wear a dress or shorts?"

The most recent thing he's been doing is purposefully touching/feeling my hand. I handed him a piece of paper today and his touch nearly made me sick—he had an entire piece of paper to grab but chose to touch my hand that was at the bottom of the page.

Why is he doing this? I've never given him the notion that I have feelings for him. I feel so uncomfortable and can hardly stand the sight of him. I’m on my toes because I am alone with him for a short period each time I work with him.

I feel I'm such a nice and kind person that has a hard time calling people out. How do I tell him to stop touching me/making me uncomfortable?

He may be married (do you even know?) and the office flirt. Has anyone else remarked on his attentions toward you?

You are going to have to set boundaries. It won't be easy, especially now that he has "gotten away with" some flirtation. Is he someone you don't want to make an enemy of (supervisor, etc.)?

You said what many a young woman has said - you have a hard time being anything other than nice. You need that one firm, loud, sharp remark to set the record straight. If he fails to get the message, then you tell your superior. It could be something like 'I want all your overtures to stop immediately and completely, no matter how innocently friendly they may seem on the surface. Enough of them are over the line to make me very uncomfortable.'

So far he is not really harassing and it sounds like he thinks he's being very careful. You can simply turn away from a hug, not respond to a question, and ignore a comment about your looks. I have a feeling you have an auto-response of a smile just because of how you were raised - to be polite and appreciative of a compliment. Practice a scowl and an about face. Maybe even slam something down on your desk.

And his age certainly has something to do with your having been taught to respect an older person, so forget that right now when it comes to him.

This man is not married and I think that contributes to his behavior towards me. No one has ever commented on his attentions toward me--we're either alone or those around us can't see/hear it. He's no enemy, just someone I work with--a year ago this wasn't even a worry.

Thanks so much for the advice.

I agree that the record needs to be set straight—he has no idea that I'm uncomfortable. My response is definitely a kind smile which I'm sure makes it look like I have no problem with his actions. I can certainly turn away, ignore and practice a scowl.

Thanks for your advice.