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Celicatsunami · Jan 4, 2012, 10:43 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. For the first little while we had sex often. Then all of a sudden he started to make every excuse in the book not to. His back was sore, his hips were sore, his shoulder was sore, and now its his knees... I am so sick of the excuses, there are a million positions in sex that can be done that could prevent these things from being used. I even ask him if he just wants a blow job and he almost gets mad about it. When I ask him what is going on or tell him I have needs too, we fight about it and he tells me that the more I ask or pressure him the more he doesn't want it. So I don't bring it up for a long time and I still don't get it... I mean there is a month and a half between any kind of sexual anything sometimes. But, I always find his underwear with evidence that he has been having his own kind of fun. And often. He leaves them right on the floor beside the bed.. oh and we rarely sleep together now by the way, I have started sleeping in another room because I go crazy laying beside him, wanting him to touch me or if I try to touch him, he says some kind of excuse and then I get mad and go sleep downstairs anyhow... what do I do?

smoothy · Jan 5, 2012, 05:51 AM

Seems to me like the relationship is over... he just hasn't had the courage to tell you.

jenniferju2 · Jan 5, 2012, 07:14 AM

Its very unclear what's going on here and I understand your frustration and pain. It stinks when things are not clear and the heart is involved. I don't think its so much that he doesn't want the relationship though he might end up feeling that way in the end becoming resentful of you no matter that you didn't deserve it. I think it sounds like he's having some sexual issues mentaly. Did the sex just go from great to nothing or was there an incident like he couldn't get off or maybe somethig awkward embarrassing or painful happened? Id rule out cheating since he's doing it in his undies.

JudyKayTee · Jan 5, 2012, 08:56 AM

I think it's pretty clear that he is sexually active, just not with you. Why would he masturbate and leave the evidence for you to find? I think he wants "out" and is giving you grounds to leave.

Time to move on.

Celicatsunami · Jan 5, 2012, 06:24 PM

When I try to end the relationship, and have a few times, he becomes very upset and begs me to stay with him, I cannot just leave though, he lives in MY house. When we first started sleeping together, he often did not "finish" and said it was not me, it was just a common problem her had. It bothered me but I wouldn't tell him, I was just happy to have the sexual attention... then all of a sudden it wasn't a problem, shortly after though, the sex pretty much stopped, he got a job working out of town... 28 days out 14 days home... he was in the middle of nowhere so I know he wasn't cheating on me there, he sent me pictures of where he was and called me a few times a day when he could. The day he got home we would have sex, maybe even a few times that day, then that was it, until the next time he came home which ened up being 6 weeks in between. I told him I could not handle being alone for months at a time so he decided two months ago to stay in town and take a course so he could work in town to be with me... I am so confused... I have no idea what is going on, I have never been in a relationship that I had to beg for sex, its usually the other way around!!

smoothy · Jan 5, 2012, 07:00 PM

You are right... he acts like he wants out... then when you want out he doesn't want out.

I'd still lay down the law... tell him to "Sh*t or get off the pot".

As it is, its no life for you, and you aren't getting any younger either. At this point you shouldn't have to beg... in fact you should NEVER have to beg. And just think... he does this when you can toss him out... imagine what he'd be like if you was married.

Handyman2007 · Jan 6, 2012, 07:11 PM

He may very much want to stay in the relationship with you for all of the other reason except for sex. There may have been changes in his life that is making him not want to share that intimacy with you. Don't take it personally. Try to be understanding. He may just need some extra emotional support. Have toy been able yo talk about this without it getting ugly? I learned a long time ago, don't think too far out of the box in personal situations. Try to communicate about it. Good Luck.

lonelymontana · May 20, 2012, 03:18 PM

I acted the same way towards a guy I was living witg and dating. I didn't love him anymore ibwould say it not to hurt him. I don't know howbits foing now but you its probably over

Lifeiscrap · May 22, 2012, 11:55 AM

Have sex with someone else. At least you would get some.

reyna10vikkie · Jun 20, 2012, 03:32 PM

The same thing is happening with my boyfriend we have been going out for a year and 1/2 we practically live together. And we haven't have sex in 2 month. I confronted him about it but he said he doesn't think about sex all the time like I do?? But he jacks off allll the time. I though mabe we hung out too much because we see each other everyday. So I started doing other things to giv him space. I also sugested we take a break and he got really up set and just blew it off. I have no idea what to do any more

reyna10vikkie · Jun 20, 2012, 03:39 PM

My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me. But he jacks off all the time and he said he doesn't think about sex all the time but he's a guy obviously you do u retard. He says I'm the best thing that every happened but he won't touch me. I tried to tell him that we need to take a break. Mabe it would help out our relationship. But he got mad and blew it off. I don't know what to do anymore? Someone plez help

JudyKayTee · Jun 20, 2012, 04:29 PM

Your language is offensive. Retard? Inexcusable. Jacks off? How old are you?

I'd give him the break, let him get away from you, see if he changes his mind. I'll bet he won't.

Handyman2007 · Jun 20, 2012, 04:54 PM

That has to be the most offensive answer I have yet to see here. And the grammar is atrocious.

You need to talk to your boyfriend and see what's missing. There may be nothing wrong at all. Does he just flat out refuse to have any kind of sex with you?

Handyman2007 · Jun 20, 2012, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Your language is offensive. Retard? Inexcusable.

I'd give him the break, let him get away from you, see if he changes his mind.

He just needs to get away from "that". It's no wonder he doesn't want her. There is no turn off stronger that someone without any tact or sensitivity at all.

JudyKayTee · Jun 20, 2012, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by Handyman2007

He just needs to get away from "that". It's no wonder he doesn't want her. There is no turn off stronger that someone without any tact or sensitivity at all.

Note she liked her post enough to repeat it two more times.

Handyman2007 · Jun 20, 2012, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Note she liked her post enough to repeat it two more times.

LIke they say,, Stupid should be painful!!

reyna10vikkie · Jun 21, 2012, 12:53 PM

Its fustrating to c the person I love just change all of a suden. How is he guna tell me that he doesn't think about sex. Which is such crap because he MASTIRBATES is that better. A lot. Its fustrating because I'm trying to c how we can fix it. And he keeps insisting there is nothing wrong. Ive never done this so I don't really know how to use this web site. I thought this site would

reyna10vikkie · Jun 21, 2012, 12:58 PM

[QUOTE=reyna10vikkie;3162257]Its fustrating to c the person I love just change all of a suden. How is he guna tell me that he doesn't think about sex. Which is such crap because he MASTIRBATES is that better. A lot. Its fustrating because I'm trying to c how we can fix it. And he keeps insisting there is nothing wrong. Ive never done this so I don't really know how to use this web site. I thought this site would help. I guess o gota be the bigger person and just break it off

JudyKayTee · Jun 21, 2012, 01:02 PM

Please - see instead of c. No text speak. Text speak makes you sound like a kid, not an adult.

If you can't live with his behavior, yes, your only choice is to break off the relationship.

smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 01:02 PM

I'm not surprised... based on your other previous posts... why he would rather use his hand than you... ever hear the terms grace and tact before? Its obvious you put him off, he just isn't upset enough to walk away for good yet.