I am in a 2 month girl relationship with a girl for whom I fell in head over heels. About 3 weeks back, we were talking and she mentioned that about a year back, she smoked pot with her brother. I was naturally quite alarmed so I asked her if it was only a one time things. She assured me that it was only a one time thing and that she would never do anything like that again and she is really ashamed of it, even if it happened only once. Drugs are for losers and low lives, you know?

It so happens that through a series of unfortunate events, I found out that she lied to me. And I don't know how to deal with it. I think she might still be doing it, her wall shows a few instances of her friends >>saying let's have some "chocolate" hint hint<<.

I really don't know how to deal with this. I am quite appalled and disgusted by her activities, but I guess people do do it. What alarms me more, however, is that she would lie to me about it. My trust feels totally broken, my heart is speeding at 140 beats per minute and I don't feel mad, but let down and upset. How do I know if this is the only thing she's lied to me about?

How do I talk about it with her? I really want to give this relationship a chance, because it meant the world to me. Now I'm not so sure. And how do I fight her addiction? She's only 15. I'm 16. I really don't know what this all is, but I do know that it is not right. Should I get her parents involved? That would ruin it all, however. Tough love? She wouldn't understand, I don't think.

Please help. I'm lost. Distraught. Crying.

I'm sorry about your predicament. I feel for you, I've been in similar situations, many times, in the same relationship.

The fact is, you can't tell if she's lying unless you talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel, tell her what you know, and what you'd like to know. Don't be accusational, or confronting just talk. Now the validity of her answer is only how you take it. If she tells you the "truth" and you find more holes later on, the validity should be gone no matter what, and I'd suggest leaving, because a relationship without trust, is no relationship.

Or, you could leave now, before you get in too deep and your feelings aren't as strong. She's already ruined your trust as I can see, so that leaves you between a rock and a hard place.


My suggestion would be to get out of there FAST. You've only been with her for 2 months, run my friend. Before it turns into 2 years, and she's still pulling the same old lies. You have to think, what kind of relationship do you have, if your always guessing whether she's telling the truth or not. That's no way to live buddy.

Best of luck!

You don't, stop asking questions. You need to understand that what you do together and separate are two very different things. It is her life and her decision about what she does, all you can do is ask her not to bring those things around you in respect to you, and you will have to get over what you know. Next time, it is better not to ask, than to lose trust because you made her lie to you.

So you have wasted too months, a person who uses drugs normally lies. So you break up, she is a ex and you have learned a lesson

I think you talk to her and get facts and if you don't believe her, then leave her. That's better than panicking over innuendos and <hints>.

I'm in the same situation, she told me that she was going to the park with her friends which they were doing drugs, (obvious what she was doing), and she told me that she would not touch it, so I knew her Facebook account and went on it and read the conversations about it, she even admitted to her friends , she said thank you for the smoke, alarms was ringing as I knew what she has done, so I told her just after finding out that she was doing it, I would leave her if I found out she did drugs, then she had a crazed spaz moment say I don't trust her and spent the last few hours with her friend lying to me and making up a story saying she didn't touch it, I'm just sitting there reading it all note by note, what should I do, I have threatened to leave her and she still thinks she can get away with it by telling lies about it, any ideas what to do? Thanks