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eddie12 · May 28, 2012, 11:20 AM

I was with my GF for 2 years (yesterday) and about 2 weeks ago she wanted a 'break' to clear her head and decide what she really wanted,
(this was all built up over the past couple of months, due to myself being snappy all the time and being mad for no reason at all)
So I phoned her today, and she said that she didn't want to give me another chance because she doesn't want to feel the pain of being hurt again (due to me being in a mood with her (not physical pain by the way lol), but I pleaded with her that I can change... she said 'but you say this and you are nice for a week then back to being moody again'
Long story short, she decided that she would give it another go... and that I need to make some changes in order for it to work, like become friends with her sister (who I fell out with a while back), see her when she wants to see me (to start slow basically)
Will this work?
Thanks
p.s being on the brink, it really made me think and like they say "for someone to change it takes a near death experience" well this was as close as it gets and has really made me think about how I will go about my problems going forward.

eddie12 · May 28, 2012, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by eddie12

i was with my GF for 2 years (yesterday) and about 2 weeks ago she wanted a 'break' to clear her head and decide what she really wanted,
(this was all built up over the past couple of months, due to myself being snappy all the time and being mad for no reason at all)
so i phoned her today, and she said that she didnt want to give me another chance because she doesnt want to feel the pain of being hurt again (due to me being in a mood with her (not physical pain btw lol), but i pleaded with her that i can change...she said 'but you say this and you are nice for a week then back to being moody again'
long story short, she decided that she would give it another go...and that i need to make some changes in order for it to work, like become friends with her sister (who i fell out with a while back), see her when she wants to see me (to start off slow basically)
will this work??
thanks
p.s being on the brink, it really made me think and like they say "for someone to change it takes a near death experience" well this was as close as it gets and has really made me think about how i will go about my problems going forward.

Some more points, she is 20 and I am 21... she is back for summer from university in a different city to I... so I am thinking this will be good when she goes back because it will give us a chance to progress slowly again :)

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2012, 11:55 AM

I don't think it is a good idea to dance to her tune while she decides whether you have changed. You will probably become frustrated because I think she is done with you and probably knows she won't take you back.
You are sounding desperate. That is not attractive. She either wants you or she doesn't and she has already told you she doesn't

C0bra_M3nace · May 28, 2012, 12:24 PM

You can make it work BUT, yeah there's always a "but", have you sat down and asked yourself why you're always snappy and moody? Try and think about that one and reconsider the relationship yourself.

eddie12 · May 28, 2012, 12:30 PM

Very pessimistic, I know you probably have experience... but as everyone knows everyone is different...
Its only the past couple of months I have been off... the rest of the time we were near perfect!
If she didn't want me why would she say yes to trying again? (she is a very hard lady and if she wanted something she would just do it (she has told me before and I have seen it in action))
Thanksd

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2012, 12:33 PM

She said yes to trying again because you begged her and because you have said you will dance to her tune.
You are right everyone is different. You asked for my opinion and I gave it.
Good luck.

eddie12 · May 28, 2012, 12:34 PM

And yes, the past couple of months I have been under a lot of stress due to an operation which has happened twice in 2 years meaning I can't do anything productive with myself (i.e gym which I spent A lot of time in) and instead I would just 'smother' her with texts all the time etc etc. recently my parents announced a divorce which I did not mention to her until today and she thought I was using it to make her get back with me but I just didn't want to tell her at the time!
1 question... starting again slowly is this just like meeting her for the first time again? Because it feels it... I feel nervous but happy to see her again etc

eddie12 · May 28, 2012, 01:04 PM

Does anybody else think I have been lucky at getting another shot??

odinn7 · May 28, 2012, 01:17 PM

You want my honest opinion? No, I don't think you're lucky.

Usually, when there is a break up, it's for a reason and that reason (or something similar) usually pops up again in a short time. I also think that she gave you a set of rules and you jumped to it... well, that's a little weak as well. As soon as you don't do something she likes, there you go.

eddie12 · May 29, 2012, 04:06 AM

So what you are saying is that if you have been with someone before you can NEVER be with them again? I find that to be BS as I have witnessed A lot of relationships get back on track and even get stronger from it, my friend for example split up for 3 months with his ex they got Back together and have been for the past 3 years!

odinn7 · May 29, 2012, 06:45 PM

Ok, if you say so. Come back and let us know how it works out for you. I actually think she's taking you back out of being tired of you begging her. She'll probably break up with you again shortly.

You wanted opinions and we gave them... mine was based on experience as I'm sure others were as well. If you know so much more than us, why are you here asking?