My boyfriend and I just had amazing sex Friday night, I was in bed waiting for him while he went to go use the restroom. He was gone for an awfully long time so I was worried about him and went to check up on him. I found him hiding in our restroom watching porn. I felt so degraded. I have a wonderful body figure I go to the gym 5x a week and but really? I don't understand what he was thinking, I feel like I don't look at him the same way anymore. We've been together for 3 years now insights caught him before and he said he would stop and I believed him but this time it's different...

He's watching porn and? What's the problem?

Granted it was a bit of an odd place for him to do it. Doesn't he lock the door when he is in the bathroom? Why would you go in?

I have written this so many times in the past couple weeks. He isn't looking at porn because he isn't happy with the way you look. It is looking at it because he likes looking at naked women. We all do. It isn't meant to be a slight like that.

As you can well tell getting him to promise to stop is futile because he will just find other ways to do it. Case in point. I would tell him that you shouldn't know about him doing it. Be discrete.

Also something to considering. You had amazing sex. You can guess he's been looking at porn for the past bit. Yet you had amazing sex. There is honestly no problem here. Let him know that it is okay and just to be a little more discrete about it.

Again it isn't a slight against you, I can say that he thinks you're gorgeous. He is a man. Men like looking at naked women.

I think if you're in a relationship it's disrespectful to lie to your partner about watching porn when you know it upsets them. I like how you guys use the excuse "guys have to watch porn" there's nothing that makes you guys do it, you choose to do it. Do you not feel degrading jacking off to some porn star when you have a beautiful loving girlfriend who is willing to be sexual with you... I don't understand that mindset. If you want to live in that fantasy world then don't date. Don't make the girl suffer because of your own selfish reasons of pleasuring yourself. No girl derserves the right for the man that they love to be pleasuring himself to another women.

Its disrespectful to try to dictate to another adult what they can and can't watch... or when. (male or female)

If you have self esteme issues... then deal with them... blaming your problems on other people only alienates them, and it makes you look more self centered than you are. If you have issues... #1 face up that you have them, and #2 Work on them... not waste time making everyone else dance around the issues you don't want to deal with.

The girl is going to suffer because she refuses to face her problems... and those problems will only get worse because she refuses to deal with them face to face.

WHen this boyfriend gets fed up and leaves... and the next one... and the next one over the same reasons... her lashing out at others rather than dealing with her own personal issues... then who is to blame? She is, not an endless string of men who eventually tire of dealing with someone who blames her own problems on everyone else.

Guys LIKE to see naked bodies... deal with it... from your own arguments why do women have to be such drama queens and prima donnas... and require things like foreplay , wining and dining... etc? Well, maybe its because women are not wired the same way men are... and human evolution isn't going to change overnight because you aren't happy with how things are... that means you learn to accept others how they are... and learn that everyone isn't subordinate to your whims.

And by your own words... if YOU want to live in a fantasyworld... don't date.

And women by their very nature... are the ones that spend the most time in a fantasy world... Romance novels... chick flicks... those are all to the female mind the same as porn is to a guys mind. Those cultivate a scenareo in the mind that is a fantasy... porn for a guy is pictorial... it doesn't need a fantasy... its there in color.

How old are you anyway... it sounds like its very young. And by very young... I mean you haven't gotten close to the big 30 yet, and sounds more like a very young adult, that's late teens or very early 20's...

I've personally walked out on more than a few women over the years over far less controlling behaviour. She isn't my mother... and she's not my boss. Equals aren't in a position to be bossing the other around. Nor should they be. You deal with people as they are... because #1. you aren't going to change them... and #2. They are going to develop very real resentment towards you if you boss them around.

My wife is my partner... my equal... she's not my boss, parol officer, or Warden.

It's disrespectful to assume you are speaking to all men on behalf of all women.

I realize you don't understand nor do you apparently want to.

It is disrespectful to be judgmental and self righteous. These are YOUR views and should be stated as YOUR views.

Don't speak on my behalf.

Then there's the whole issue of just walking in on someone in the bathroom -

The reason he lies is obvious. You won't let him watch it, and you most likely demand that he does not do it.

He lies since he does not want to tell you what we are saying ( and you will not listen to us either) you are wrong, he has a right to watch if he wants to. It has nothing to do with you, and by being so narrowed minded and not accepting his desire to look at some porn you force him to lie.

Watching porn is not about you, has nothing to do with how you look or do in bed.

In fact for many men, if you order them or tell them they can't, they will just to prove they can.

It is disrespectful to lie to your partner in any case. It is also disrespectful to hoist your baggage on your partner and expect them to deal with it instead of you. You're with this person because you love him. Quit trying to change him. That is the surest way to run him off. To be honest I am surprised he is still around.

Love your man for who he is and remember that it was him you fell in love with. Don't try to make him into your perfect man. That is the road to ruin.

While it is a minor clarification in terminology. It isn't that guys HAVE to watch porn. It is that guys WANT to watch porn. It is like guys WANT to see you naked in all your stretchmarky/cellulity goodness. Don't care how fit you are. Everyone has them.

No I don't think it is degrading at all. Because I understand what I am doing, why I am doing, and what impact it has on me and my relationship.

So let me give you an understanding of porn and why men like it so. When it comes to sex men aren't emotional creatures. We are visual creatures. We don't want to read about how her heart was bursting with love as she nuzzled into his finely chiseled chest. What we want is seed for a fantasy. We want that little escape into our minds while we concentrate on ourselves.

What you need to realize is that making love with your Significant other is a beautiful shared moment. Everyone is joined and at one and all that kind of stuff. You're pleasing your partner and your partner is pleasing you. It is a beautiful thing. When a man is masturbating he is just getting off. This is a private moment for himself to get himself off and only concentrating on himself. Not having to be concerned with another. Which is why it is a solo activity.

It is like a nice hot bath with bubbles, candles, and a trashy romance book for men.

... and you don't fantasize about anything? Give me a break. Honestly. You've never had those moments where you've seen someone and wondered what they would be like? You've never looked at brad pitt, george clooney, or whoever like that? You've never read a romance novel and pictured yourself as the beautiful heroine?

Pot and kettle Love.

What you're looking for is the prince charming as defined by modern pop culture. They don't exist. They never have. Give us a little understanding. Either accept your man for who he is or move on. Be kind to him.

To split hairs it isn't pleasuring ourselves to other women it is pleasuring ourselves to a thought. So if you were to provide pictures of yourself to your boyfriend to masturbate to then it would be fine?

Good Lord, another one of these questions? What's wrong with a man watching porn? I can see if he watched it compulsively everyday, hours on end, but a lil' view here and there isn't bad!

My ex would give me some of the best sex on Saturday mornings before she left on the weekends, you know what I would do just a few hours after she left? I'd rub another one out to porn to completely "empty" myself. It wasn't because my ex wasn't attractive, she was smoking hot in my eyes. I'd still love to be with her to this day if I could. Most times she wouldn't want to go an extra round unless she was really in the mood, so instead of bugging her for more sex or just sex in general I'd pleasure myself and be good. So don't let the fact that you guys had great sex and a day later he's spanking it deminish what you guys share in the bedroom.

We're men. We're different from women. If I'm horny Monday morning and don't get any release, I'm going to be horny pretty much every day after that until something is done to take care of that. Porn is just a great way to give us a visual aid to help with the... self process. But you did say that he doesn't have to go without sex with you, so I don't know why he would chose porn over you if you were there willing and able. I know I'd choose the real thing every time.

Basically it goes like this: Horny > visual stimulation (porn) > release > good to go.

Yes, it's true; guys like to look at naked (female) bodies. The other side of that token is WOMEN LIKE TO LOOK AT NAKED MALE BODIES ALSO! AND NOT ALL MEN WERE CREATED EQUAL! Here' the deal ladies; rare is the man who is completely secure about the size of his penis, his sexual performance or his staying power and body image. A big mistake is to think that men and women are really that different. Try this on for size; let him walk a mile in your pumps. Get on the internet and look at pictures, videos, etc, and there are many, of hunky gorgeous well hung stallions and see what it does for you. Then let him know that you understand his need for porn because you’ve tried it yourself. Let him know in graphic detail all the sensations that run through your body when you look at, then imagined yourself doing the nasty with the 10lb hammer. Explain to him that while you pleasure yourself to the perfect nakedness of a well hung hunk that was there just to bring you pleasure; your boyfriend was the last thing on your mind and that possibly bringing the image of your perfect man servant with you to bed might help you reach multiple orgasms.
BE HIS EQUAL! The worse that can happen is he’s too insecure and he leaves. Who needs a man/boy that can’t respect you, PERIOD! And should he want to share in watching porn with you, then make sure you add a little spice and watch some man-on-man, guys LOVE that stuff! Don’t try to make him the perfect man; he only exists in internet fantasies. Any woman that is o.k. with a man jerking off to porn is also doing it herself, and will more than likely lie to her boyfriend/husband to keep his fragile male ego intact. I don’t agree with hiding it; that in itself is a lie. So don’t lie to him, like I said, let him know in no uncertain terms that he may have your heart, but fantasy men own your body and mind. Feed your eyes with all the eye candy available to you.
And remember one thing; you will never have to take Viagra to be able to ‘keep it up’ and neither will your Hunk de jour. Enjoy your body and mind, that’s what it’s there for!

If a guy wants to watch porn let him.. its his choice he's an adult.. but if he knows it upsets you then he shouldn't he can choose to watch porn or be with you, my boyfriend used to watch porn to and when I found out it made me feel ugly because I can't be lke one of those girls and he had no reason to watch it?we have sx everyday

If he told you that you could never watch a romantic movie again because it upset him, would you feel the same way? I mean, he feels inferior to those guys in the movies, because he can't think of those romantic things and can't afford to buy the presents that the guys get women in the movies--I mean, he just can't live up to the unrealistic romance. You should be content with only him for romantic ideas ever again and never need to see another romance on TV, the movies or in novels.

And since you have HIM, and he gives you love every single day (even though it's not like the movies), you don't have a REASON to watch it, right?

I can't seem to quote user any more... Regardless. A thousand standing ovations to you Synnen!