Help me I want to die, I have no one, and I don't know what to do?

I do not want another pill, I do not want to have a million dollars, I have been through so many things in the last 6 years and I have no one to hang with to just matter to.

Its so tough, and I get so tired. Its hard facing everyday with a pill and a face full of make up and a suit making sure not to offend of appear like I don't have everything under control.

I am just not strong enough to do it anymore.

How old are you, how much of your life have you lived? Tell us what is happening?

What medication are you on? Is it for depression? How long have you been on this medication, and do you take it regularly?

If it is an anti depressant, I've been there, done that. It takes time for the medication to work, and yes, it's hard to take that pill, it's hard to accept that you need it, but it does work, and you'd be surprised at how many people need to take it just to live a normal life. I know more people on anti depressants than I know that aren't on any. That says a lot.

Have you considered counseling?

You said this has been going on for 6 years. What happened to set this off?

There are many people on this site that have been where you are now. We don't have a quick fix, but we are here to listen, if you give us a chance.

Know this. Now that you've brought your issues to us, we're in it. If you do something to hurt yourself it effects us. We get dozens of these sorts of posts every day, and each one hurts, because there's only so much we can do over the internet.

We can listen, and we can give you advice, but you have to be willing to listen, to all of it, and you have to be the one that takes control of your life. In the end, we can only talk, you are the one that has to take action and make the changes so that you can feel better. If you're willing to do that, I'm here, and I know a lot of others that will be here too. But the hard part is in your hands.

Okay, marthasings, we're here for you and want to hear your story. What kind of pill and why and how can we help?

My closest friend is my therapist, I moved here 6 years ago, I had been in an unbelievably bad marriage back in Texas but had a strong connection and support system so I was able to manage with a little help from my friends and my spouse could care less as long as his needs were met. I had returned to college to finish my degree because I wanted to support myself when the inevitable divorce occurred.

His job moved me to GA where I knew no one, he purchased a home in a neighborhood where we were the only caucasian family where in Texas "Dallas" it was not an issue, but in a very small community in South GA it was not the warmest reception but I extended and baked and nothing.

My now ex insisted I could not finish my degree and I went to work doing customer service, (stress?) then I found out my baby 3rd grade was being molested and I turned the molester, and left my husband who I had been in counseling with every 2 years for 16 years and his temper and inability to create a relationship with me had come to a crashing halt, I had no support system I was there for my child and I moved out I found a church who I signed a lease with and paid my rent each month on time for first 3 months and then I received a phone call telling me I had to move, no one helped me from the church to relocate and with the filing of the divorce I had no more money.

I came home the day before the move to find only spanish speaking people in my home ripping the walls out of my bathroom and my photo's and prints were still on the walls my child and some older friends from his school helped me throw things into uhaul it was a nightmare, so the even the church failed me. I find myself living in an apt I had 80 thousand dollars I had invested ina fund from inheretence that a "friend told me in 10 years you can have it" well not only was that not true, but I found myself having to file bankruptcy and it was not in a secured fund, he was also a financial advisor from my church in Texas so I'm so lost right now. I have missed 3 days of pristique but damn. Now I'm middle aged, struggling with my weight and taking meds that cause me to gain.Geeze louise.

My mother died when I was 6 my dad disowned me due to his fear of being alone, his words not mine. So here I am and I'm tired and lonely and trust no one.

Let me add my voice to the chorus of those offering assistance.

Without delay however let me refer you to a live resource:

1-800-273-8255

At this number your will remain anonymous yet have access to expert guidance.

I know that right now the road you're on is tough. I would be feeling exactly the way you're feeling. But there is help. There are reasons for you to go on. I'm sure you've heard this already, because it's the number one thing people will say to you, but, I'll say it anyway because it's so true. You have a child. If you decide to end things, imagine the effect it will have on him. I know you want better for your child. Do you want him to feel the way you're feeling right now? I doubt that you do.

You're in a tough spot right now. You're in a hole. There is help available. Call the number Dr. Bill posted. Keep posting to us, we'll do our very best to help. Take control of this. Be proactive. I know that it's hard when you're so down in the dumps that even getting out of the bed is a herculean feat, but baby steps. Set a goal, and do everything you can to reach that goal. Start small and work your way up. Even if it's simple as going for a walk, or writing in a journal, or taking your medication. Set a new goal for every day.

Mostly, take your medication. It will help, until a time when you no longer need it.

Martha,

The information provided by Alty is correct.

But first let us get beyond this crisis point. You will benefit from a real live voice, someone that can spontaneously interact with you. Please call the number previously noted:

1-800-273-8255

We (this site) can certainly offer support via advice and experience but please get direct, interactive advice at

1-800-273-8255

Make that call, then get back.

I am just so lonely. I have now been divorced a while, I'm alone, I do everything alone.

I hate it, and no one from home has contacted me I think my pastor and his wife from home are pretty overwhelmed by what they have heard and now I'm just labeled crazy. Its like GOD took mama away and her mother my grandmother who ' was nuts in her own right due to depression. Now I'm alone caring for this wonderful 15 year old. I know it sounds so selfish of me to desire friends and a life outside my responsibility of raising my son. I just feel like a mistake, the little girl no one talks to because she never combs her hair and her mother is dead, now it's the white girl with no money and friends stuck in small town in GA. I hate that I have to have drugs to tolerate life. I have taken antidepressants for 15 years first to tolerate a marriage to a man I did not love but stayed because I was told I better be happy someone would have me now to tolerate life. I'm sorry I want to fix this I just really don't know how. I don't want anymore pills.

Martha. I lost both of my parents 10 years ago, back to back. I'm an only child. I've been on antidepressants for 12 years now. I have two wonderful children that are my entire world. I won't bore you with the other details of my past, but suffice it to say, I know how hard life can be. I've had razor to wrist ready to end it all more times than I care to count. Not since my kids were born, but before that, there were many times when I wanted to just end it all. I've been where you are now. I've felt what you're feeling now. I also know that no words could get me out of my funk. I had to do it. I had to find that strength and take control of my own life, make it better. It's not an easy thing to do, but obviously you want help, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Coming here took strength. So you have that strength in you. You have the will to live, to get better.

I can understand not wanting to take the pills. But the pills work, if you take them. Why are you so averse to the medication? Are you having bad side effects? If so, talk to your doctor, there are many different antidepressants out there, I'm sure you could find one that will work better for you. I'm on celexa, and unless I stop taking it, I don't even notice any effects. But, if I stop taking it, I realize how much I need to keep taking them.

Do you have any hobbies, any interests? One of the best ways to meet people is to go out and interact with people. If you like crafts, why not join a crafting group? Scrapbooking? Many stores that sell scrapbooking supplies have scrap nights once a week, it's a great way to meet people with the same interests as you. Fact is, if you're holed up at home all the time, you're not going to meet people. You have to get out there.

Take Dr. Bills advice. Call the number he posted, talk to a real person, let's get over this initial hurdle, let's get you safe, out of this mindset, into a safer zone. Right now you need to hear a human voice, which none of the people on this site can offer. The number Dr. Bill gave offers that. So call it. Talk to them, then come back and post to us. We won't leave. We won't give up. So you see, you're no longer alone. We may only be faceless people on the internet, but we are people, and I can tell you right now that the people on this site are the best people I've never met. I know their compassion, I know that they'll do whatever they can to help you, myself included. But right now you need to hear a voice, so call the number. Please.

[In reference to marthasings post #6] So be happy he is gone. And I know being poor sucks, I have been there, and am still just getting by. I remember sitting at home in a small south GA town (I will be honest not sure where you are, but most people from GA are great) But in GA they have legal aid to help with divorce if that is not finished. And yes we all lost money in the last failures, my funds were with Enron who went under and I lost a small fortune. But I learned money comes and money goes. You find a online college and finish your degree and keep life moving on.

But you can always find friends, or find a reason to keep going. Start by perhaps going to a nursing home and just pick a few old people who never never ever get visits and go visit and read to them.

Re-emphasis 1-800-273-8255

Thus far all information provided seems well founded. Please accept the consensus and call 1-800-273-8255.

As you can see by Alty's responses you are not alone. Others share, have endured, and survived your distress.

Once again, we are here to help to the extent possible.

Thank you.

I'm going to add my voice into this. All those people are right. It helps to talk to a person. But it also is hard to. I know how you feel. Well, sort of. I still have my family and friends but I still feel alone. I'm only seventeen and I've tried to kill myself three times and I've been cutting for about five years now. I know how it feels to be alone in this world. For twelve years I was and still am bullied. I didn't have friends at school until two years ago. And I also lost my twin brother. He killed himself last year on my birthday. I know it's hard to stop wanting to kill yourself. What I'm trying to say is your not alone. Everyone here cares about you and it would be sad for me if you kill yourself. I know I'm young but don't try something that's not worth it.
Just think in a positive light.
-Amanda

You are not alone... these people are taking there time to respond to your call sweetheart. You will soon be happy Independence is good. I'm alone too and I'm independent we have different stories but share the same feeling. Trust life you don't want to give up so easy there are people who live life with disfigured faces, no hands, feet disfigured limbs and just chaos and they are still striving to live and pushing to go forth. People who have done you wround will pay triple there price. In time you will feel like living and in time you will help others in your shoes. Dying is the end of the world.

Damn, your story is even more worse than mine.Don't loose,it will be all right.That's what I keep saying to myself.

Hi,

I would like to ask you to give me a chance to help you to deal with your questions. I do not know you and you do not know me but I might consider a possibility to change my life in order to help you. I would like to meet you and to approach your feeling of being lonely. You will not be lonely anymore. This does matters doesn't it? What would you say?

I am alone. Eat alone, sleep alone, exist alone.

I had 4 boyfriends and 3 green card love-of-my-life husbands use me, exploit me, offend and violate every corner of my world and soul.

All left me for dead and never glanced back once.

I feel I am in purgatory doing a life sentence.

I keep reminding myself it's better to be alone than being used. But I just haven't had a hug in so long I feel like I could die.. . or maybe deserve to.

I'm a nice, attractive professional. No one knows me.