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mike_lock · Feb 25, 2007, 04:54 AM

Hi, this my first time to ask here and I hope everyone can help me. It sounds pretty pathetic but I want to ask how to approach this girl at church. I go to church every Sunday and so does she. I really like this girl but don't know how to start talking to her. If we were in a bar, it'd be easy but church is different. It's not really a place to meet women, you know.. Maybe I can talk to her after mass, but I don't know what to do.. help me.
I can't stop thinking about her..
Tnx a lot.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 25, 2007, 05:06 AM

There is nothing wrong with starting a conversation with a little candor. Maybe you could admit with some self-humor you were a little daunted about how to start a conversation with her being that this is church and not the corner bar and she'll probably laugh and enjoy the honest compliment and relate to how hard breaking social ice can be sometimes. Lines sound like lines because they aren't honest. Besides, after you both laugh, then you can ask her get-to-know questions just like you do in a bar... "been attending here long? What did you think of that sermon last week?? guaging her responses as you go.

Next week you can talk some more. Go slower here, as this is church and girls like time to think about what happened. When you ask her out to coffee or lunch, be sure to give some warm-up first so she has at least a few seconds to see what's coming... like "I really enjoy talking to you and would like to get to know you better, would you join me for coffee sometime after church?

She'll either make it happen or not. Remember this, for some people, church is as legitimate of a place to meet as many others.

mike_lock · Feb 25, 2007, 05:25 AM

Thanks valinors_sorrow! Honesty is definitely the way to go.
My biggest problem is that she usually comes in exactly as the mass starts. And I really don't want to disrupt the mass by talking to her.. I'm sure she wouldn't like it as well..
Then right after the mass is over, she quickly leaves church and heads home.. every time we see each other, we exchange 3 secong glances at each other so I know she's somehow interested.. I'm afraid if I don't act within the next few weeks, she'll lose interest. I'm becoming desperate, any advise will be greatly appreciated. Tnx

valinors_sorrow · Feb 25, 2007, 05:50 AM

Ummmm, beat her to the door and stop her as she is leaving?
Slip her a note in mass? No wait, LOL that's what we did in junior high! Hmm there is a kind of playful innocence to this idea though...

Maybe slip her a note stating you'd like to properly meet her and get to know her a little better just might work!

Ask if she would be willing to meet after mass? It might be especially cute if you would draw boxes to check like on a survey that said stuff like:

(box) Yes
(box) No
(box) Maybe, I need to think about it!
(box) Maybe but I need to know this first _______________

mike_lock · Feb 25, 2007, 07:56 AM

Haha, interesting suggestion.. ill make my move within a week or two. If you don't hear from me again, that means I failed and I'm miserable.. haha

Fr_Chuck · Feb 25, 2007, 09:00 AM

Actually church is the better place to meet others. You meet people at bars you only meet people who drink and if you read about 1/2 of the relationship problems here they all start with "we were out drinking and"

So after church you talk to her, invite her to lunch after church or something

valinors_sorrow · Feb 25, 2007, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by mike_lock

haha, interesting suggestion.. ill make my move within a week or two. if you dont hear from me again, that means i failed and im miserable.. haha

LOL Good for you... and if she shoots you down, stand tall and wear that failure proudly! Its not easy to stick it out there. But certainly if you don't try, that is a guaranteed failure. Good luck, guy! :p

s_cianci · Feb 25, 2007, 06:19 PM

Is there another friend at your church you can confide in? Perhaps a mutual third party to introduce you? Ask around and see if anyone you know knows who she is. That can be a way to break the ice.

talaniman · Feb 26, 2007, 07:54 AM

Ask her what she thinks of the sermon and go from there.

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 26, 2007, 08:05 AM

Actually, I think a church is a great place to meet a woman who has depth and real character. Meeting women in bars, especially younger women in their 20's is usually a recipe for disaster and drink does not help, oh not to sound sexist here>>> that goes for us guys too. I don't think you meet relationship material in bars and nightclubs, you can do but it is not the ideal place and intentions can be misinterpreted, especially with alcohol leading the way.

Perhaps start by smiling at her and saying hello and just try and spark a casual conversation.

mike_lock · Feb 27, 2007, 12:26 AM

Thanks for the tips everyone! Can't really try the sermon thing though.. I find it hard to pay attention to what the priest is saying eversince I saw her. Lolz
Argh! Can't believe this is happening to me.. its getting pretty silly haha
Guess ill just have to approach her and talk to her.

Scared to death..
Mike

chuff · Feb 27, 2007, 02:34 AM

I read all the posts and the only thing going through my head is where is she running off to in such a hurry all the time? Maybe you could ask her and start a conversation from there. Or you could word it like this "Hey football seasons over, there's no need for you to run home anymore and catch the game."