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    joanna1999's Avatar
    joanna1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2011, 01:47 PM
    My basketball coach and I do not get along
    I've always felt like my coach picks favorites because she is also my P.E. Teacher. At my school if you get over 45 minutes of detention then you are not allowed to play that week. I got 45 minutes of detention and my coach would not let me play 2 games that week. I talked to her the week after the tournament that I had to miss and she said she was sorry and that she would try to make it up to me. But ever since then, there has been tension between us more than there used to be, when we go to games, she plays people who are worse than me while I sit bench. Several of my friends have noticed the tension and several have said that I can play even better than I play when the coach does but me in the game. I think the coach makes me nervous. What should I do so that there is not as much tension, and so that she does not make me nervous.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2011, 03:16 PM
    Ask her if there is a time the two of you can talk for 5 minutes. She'll know that means when no one else is around.

    She actually sounds pretty nice to me. Did your team lose the tournament that you missed? Maybe she is not so happy about you not being able to play. Or maybe some order came down from the principal or dept of athletics.
    Getting benched from detention hurts the whole team, the coach, and the school. (Personally I don't care for that burden on athletes, so it's not me speaking.)
    joanna1999's Avatar
    joanna1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2011, 03:24 PM
    She is nice to most people, but I feel like she hates me. She claims that she did not know that I was allowed to play the tournament. We lost the first game and won the 2nd games. Thanks for the idea to go talk and I'm going to do that!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Dec 17, 2011, 04:00 PM
    Keep in mind that with teachers, coaches, administration, and parents, there are often things going on behind the scenes. Arguments about rules like the ones about detention, for one thing. Who can stay on a team and who can't. What grades athletes have to have. Maybe someone yelled at her for benching you during the tournament and it wasn't her fault but she got blamed. She may never tell you the real reason. It may be nothing, it may be something.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Dec 17, 2011, 05:22 PM
    Also remember most of the players will normally think the coach does not like them either, or is better to the other players.

    Also sorry but often one players opinion of how they play is not always what the coaches see.
    joanna1999's Avatar
    joanna1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 18, 2011, 01:39 PM
    What should I say when I talk to my coach?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    Dec 19, 2011, 09:10 AM
    Why would the coach - whose job very well may depend on the win/lose stats - not play you out of some type of spite or vengeance? My other concern is you discussing the situation with your teammates - my feeling is that word gets back to the teacher and she doesn't like being talked about.

    Why did you get detention in the first place?

    I think you answered your own question on your other thread - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/basket...ml#post2978563
    joanna1999's Avatar
    joanna1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 21, 2011, 06:48 AM
    I got detention from another teacher. The best girl on our team also got detention for the same thing but it was after I got detention so she got to play the week she had detention because then the coach already knew the rules.

    What am I supposed to say if I talk to my coach?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #9

    Dec 21, 2011, 02:36 PM
    I wouldn't talk to her - I think she has decided you have a bad attitude. I wouldn't risk making things worse.

    I'd let things settle down and figure there's always next year.

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