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    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 15, 2011, 08:33 PM
    Teen father's rights to be in son's life
    If teen father lives n one state and teen mother and son live in another state what our his options to be involved in his child's life. We helped our son get on both states punitative(sp) father registry before birth of child after we spent many months searching for the mother and her family. With the help of a friend we had a skip trace done. The mother was lets say in a nice way telling my son and us that no matter what their would be no paternity test to be done. I think that is why they moved out of state in middle of night without any warning to anyone didn't even give their landlord any notice. After the skip trace was done we learned a lot about her family that concerns us about our grandson's stable enviroment(sp)especially that fact the family seems to move every 6 months or so ,which is the least of our concern issues that we found out there are other issues of greater concerns that has us worried about his up bringing in that enviroment(Sp). Our problem is we know you will say hire attorney but we don't have the extra funds for that. But my son's heart breaks the first questioned he asked after the confirmation he was the father was when can I see my son and when can I raise my son. Thank you for any input on this matter.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 15, 2011, 09:15 PM
    He files for visits, in fact if she moved out of state after the pregnancy to avoid him seeing the child, he can file in court to order her to return the child back to his state.

    He has the right to file for a DNA test and the right to file for visits and more.

    He needs an attorney to start the process.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #3

    Dec 16, 2011, 04:46 AM
    When and where was the child born? This is essential info for us to help. How old is your son and the mother?

    But frankly you can't afford NOT to have an attorney. You are in a complex situation here.

    Depending on the timing, you may be able to get custody. You also should talk to the police. If she left AFTER the child was born, then she may be prosecutable for parental kidnapping. So you may be able to use that to get the child back.

    If you want to try going it pro se (without counsel), then see if there are legal aid options, support groups or maybe a local law school with a clinic that can help you prepare the paperwork.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 16, 2011, 07:40 PM
    Thanks for some info. She and her family moved from Missouri to Ohio before the baby was born. DNA test is done and been confirmed we started that process and received the letter back this week. Not sure how he goes about getting his name on birth certificate and visitation rights started since it involves two states. Plus we the grandparents would like to have our visitation rights put into place. Will have to call our state legal aid and see if he would qualify for assistance in this matter.
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    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 16, 2011, 07:45 PM
    Reason they moved I am sure is because we told them we were going to get dna test done lets say in nice words we were told no way will that happen. I think they thought we would not look for them or couldn't find them or that we would not care to look for them but that is not the case at all. We want what is best for the child and see that he has a good life and not a life that would be full of obstacles or problems. Lets just say skip trace has shown some alarms and concerns for us.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Dec 16, 2011, 07:59 PM
    You start it by hiring an attorney, you will have a case only in one state, so your attorney can help you with that. It can even depend on how fast you file, to how long ago she moved, and what residentcy laws are in both states.

    That is why faster to court can be better.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Dec 16, 2011, 08:29 PM
    How did you get a DNA test? Was it ordered by a court? And you didn't answer about the ages or timing of the birth.

    But you NEED an attorney to determine where jurisdiction lies. If she had moved after the baby was born it would be clear.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 17, 2011, 10:37 AM
    The teen mother was 16 her birthday was in June. Baby was born in July. Our son was 15 his birthday was in August. So as of now both teens are 16. The teens mother's family moved to Ohio in April of 2011 and since the child was born in Ohio I assume that is were the case will have to be handled. We got the DNA test done by going through our state Missouri child support division which was several back and forth letters with them because they needed more information and our consent as parents since our son was a minor to have the DNA test done. He have been very proactive in this process helping our son with his wishes in this matter. I admire my son for wanting to step up to the plate and be a active parent in his son's life. I don't think there are a lot of teen fathers who would want to do that especially since they moved out or state to another state. The teen mother called our son last night and told him he could see his son but I as the grandmother was not allowed she also sent him a picture to his cell phone. We had a family member pass away in Ohio and some of my siblings went to that funeral and was told by someone that the reason they did not seek a DNA test was because they did not want to travel back and forth to Missouri for visitation. So as I think of that it makes me think that they want things their way or no way at all. It troubles me to think that they are only thinking of themselves and not what is best for the child. We have a stable home married for 20 plus years and respectful ,responiable, good Christian citizens who are trying to do what is best for our son and grandson. Our son made a mistake, accident what ever one may want to call it. When you make a choice to have sex and a child is created then you have to make another choice on what and how you go on with your life that includes a child. The choices to be made are adoption,abortion or keeping the child. Which mostly is the females choice but from day one our sons choice was to raise the child. Abortion was not a choice for him because it conflicts with our morals,beliefs and values. Adoption wasn't a choice because he said I don't want someone else raising my child. With that being said we started the process before the Child's birth at contacting both states and putting him on the puntative father's registry in both states and contacting both states child support division to see how he went about getting a DNA test done. We owe a big thank you to a friend in a different state who did a skip trace to locate them. We will never be able to thank her enough.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Dec 17, 2011, 11:18 AM
    Ok, First let me applaud your son for taking responsibility for his actions. His attitude is a good reflection on the job you did raising him.

    I'm still surprised that you got a DNA test done. It should have taken a order from an Ohio court to compel the mother to submit. But given that the child was born in Ohio almost six months ago, you need to move immediately. An order for custody needs to be filed in MO this week if possible. If not, it is probable that Ohio will have jurisdiction. Even then it is a slim chance that it won't.

    Did you check on parental kidnapping charges as I suggested?

    As long as Ohio has jurisdiction, I can't see a good outcome for you and your son. He will be responsible for paying child support until the child is 18. And visitation will be limited. He might get the child for holidays and summer vacations, but not much else.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Dec 17, 2011, 12:08 PM
    I don't know if it was a court order or not that the dna was done. My guess is that the mother was receiving state aid and the division of family services step in and served her papers. The reason for the dna test was because my son wanted to know how to proceed in his life and didn't want to go into a future relationship with another girl or someday get married and have a surprise down the road. He wants to go into a open honest relationship with whoever the next girl shall be. I am putting a call into legal aid to see if he could get some assistance or maybe they could tell us how to go our son filing papers in court seeking custody. I did not check on parental kidnapping because she was 6 mo. In pregnancy when her family moved and what I saw on Ohio Laws was mother had sole custody until the paternity of the father was established.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #11

    Dec 17, 2011, 12:23 PM
    I'm assuming that your son informed the mother of his wishes to be a part of the child's life. Given that her moving without informing your son of his child's whereabouts could be considered parental kidnapping and I strongly suggest you look into that.

    If she had gotten an abortion your son would have nothing to say about it. But hiding the child is a no no.

    If she applies for public assistance, Ohio will require that she identify the father. So that's where the DNA test probably came from.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #12

    Dec 17, 2011, 12:35 PM
    My thought based on some vague info about the family of the girl - hire an investigator to run a background check. The "skip trace" will allow you to locate the family but you need PROOF that they and/or their lifestyle are unsafe for the child.

    Grandparents rights are not routinely granted. It will depend on which State has jurisdiction.

    This is your Grandchild - I appreciate that money is tight but there is one chance to get this right and I think you need an Attorney in order to get the best result. Yes, you can always go back to Court at a later time if you don't like the way things go the first time you're in Court - but think of the child in the meantime.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #13

    Dec 17, 2011, 02:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    ... An order for custody needs to be filed in MO this week if possible. If not, it is probable that Ohio will have jurisdiction. ...
    Without question, Ohio has jurisdiction. The child was born there, so that is the child's home state.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Dec 20, 2011, 10:32 AM
    Thank you all for responding . We talked to legal aid today they cannot help our son because we are above the income line so we will have to see what a local attorney in Ohio would cost to at least start some sort of process for our sons rights in his son's life. My concerns about my grandchild are great concerns especially since I have witnessed the teen mom on 2 incidents thrown up againist a cabinet by her mother and thrown onto a dining room table by step father .Which I know they have had trouble with there daughter but the way they handled it was wrong. But dad tried to justify it was cause she startled him by hitting him on back and he turned around instinct and she went about 6 feet across room and landed on dining room table. The part I saw was landing on table and things fell off table. The mother on her incident thought her daughter was smirking at her or laughing at her. When we were having a conversation why she was unloading the dishwasher. The mother did apologize for over reacting but still those issues and a few other issues uncovered are concerns for us. Driving without license passed arrest step father had custody of his kids at some point and the kids were placed back into the mother care. This is info. They shared with us. But why that happened we are still unclear about cause of the web of lies they already told us that we found out were lies. They moved here saying they wanted a fresh start when the truth may be part of that but stepfather is wanted in Florida for large sum of back child support so that is how he lost his license. They also have used alas names in past and arrest of other things. Defruading government benefits not reporting all who live with them and the income that coming into the home. Mother gets disability father was getting unemployment and a guy living in there home they called dad and grandpa who happened to be a step uncle of mine. Mother was getting child support from 2 of her three kids dads. All 3 children have different dads the step father not bio. Dad to any of the 3 . He has 2 kids from his previous marriage. One of the men in the household we have just learned was collecting unemployment illegally but we have not gotten solid info for sure. This came about when my uncle passed away in Ohio and going back to his funeral it was told to my half sister by my uncles ex wife who he was living with when the family moved back there. My uncle moved back in with her instead of this family. He also shared with me if our son was the baby father I would go after custody but you know it could be blank or blank child also cause mother was bouncing around with different boyfriends. Trust me he said you don't want to be tied to that family. What I told him was first we will establish paternity and then follow procedures from there. That was the second to last time I spoke to him before his passing. I guess it back to research to try and gelp my son some how some way I know God will direct and guide in this matter. Thank you all.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #15

    Dec 20, 2011, 10:42 AM
    It sounds like a horror story. Did you know all of this when your son was dating (and having unprotected sex) with the girl?

    First, I'd speak to him about birth control.

    Next - and I'm an investigator - I would hire an investigator to run thorough background checks on the stepfather (or whoever he is) , info which can be verified AND used in Court.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Dec 20, 2011, 11:19 AM
    Did know a lot about the family when they first moved her only started discovering things as I was trying to help them. My sister said she would help them find, home jobs and all that if they moved here. My uncle has always wanted to move here. Out of respect for him I stepped up to the plate to help them find a home show them around our town of 14,000 and my husband tried to help them get jobs at a warehouse for the company he works for. My husband works in corporate office and tried to help them with there training and background work experience they gave us at the warehouse but later on when my husband when to inquire if they turned in there apps the manager of warehouse said no and one said he did which was a lie. The other my uncle said no because he was trying to heal his foot first complications from diabetes. Did not know a lot of things when we first met them. But as they started saying or doing some things that is what raised red flags. We are talking from July to Nov. in a single year. I usually went over to their home when my son wanted to go see their daughter. Then my son asked if I could go over without me and shame on me I guess for allowing that cause ear got pierced and a child was created. Boy did he have a lecture about the rule of home about having sex and unprotected sex. He didn't follow that rule. I lost my cool when the stepfather told my son if I were you I would be with as many girls as I could at 15 to know which type of girl you would like. That and ear piercing is when I started pulling the amount of time we would go over there. This was before we found out in Nov. open deer weekend we found out she was pregnant. We let them know that we would seek a DNA test and that my son would not be allowed over without my presence. The last time we spoke to her parents was on Thanksgiving when the girl called and asked if my son would come over. Not a happy or good visit.The week prior we talked to her parents about the situation and they said they were not surprised because where they had lived in Florida girls were pregnant at 13. The weekend of deer season is when the girl told her parents my uncle and I that my son lost his virginity to her in their barn style garage loft. You can only imagine my feelings when she said that and was laughing about it like no big problem or issue. My husband is a good judge of character and was telling me we need to distant ourselves cause something didn't seem right. But my Nature is to help others and minister to them more so then my husbands does. But I think it comes from my husbands line of work that he analyzes a lot he is a loss prevention manager. As my boys would say about their dads job when they were younger he is like a police detective when someone asked them what there dad did for a living.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #17

    Dec 20, 2011, 02:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by myvue69 View Post
    Thank you all for responding . We talked to legal aid today they cannot help our son because we are above the income line so we will have to see what a local attorney in Ohio would cost to at least start some sort of process for our sons rights in his son's life.
    I have to say this at this time. I believe you were lied to by legal aid. Your income has nothing to do with your son seeking relief in the courts. You may wish to ask them again. The reason being is that your child is semi-emancipated. A person being a minor has parental rights to their child and may make legal as well as medical decisions involving that child. No they can't go and sign a contract for an apartment or anything but as far as needing representation that should be allowed. It is his income in stand alone fashion that merrits it. Your income has nothing to do with it as your not a party to this action. Your limit to your son is your parental liability. Now that he is a potential parent he has that liability under the law. It is an odd situation. But this filing is not about protecting him from the laws vengeance (like in the commission of a crime) but this is to protect his parental rights as guaranteed by law.

    It is 2 different points of reference and perspective. Should he be proclaimed the father they are not coming after you for child support only him. So it stands to reason that he stands alone when facing the courts. Im not trying to be harsh with what your doing. Im just stating how the law treats a minor with child.
    myvue69's Avatar
    myvue69 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Dec 20, 2011, 03:28 PM
    THANKS CAL BUT ACCORDING TO State of Missouri legal aid today they said because my son is a minor he needed a next of friend not kin but friend to act on his behalf in this issue. So they asked me for my husband an I info. And such. I will give them a call tomorrow and see what they tell me and I will call state of Ohio legal aid and see what they tell me I hung up today when I called Ohio's legal aid cause I was on hold for over 30 minutes. I feel like my son is getting the run around and he is getting a crash course and so are we in this matter. I feel as if my son is going to loose his son before he even gets a chance to know his son. I just don't want them to say he has been a absent or abandoned father when he is so trying to step up and look out for his son's best interest.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #19

    Dec 20, 2011, 04:21 PM
    You want a local attorney. Your attorney will contact an Ohio affiliate, but you want a local attorney to deal with directly.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #20

    Dec 20, 2011, 04:33 PM
    You might this interesting reading.

    http://minors.uslegal.com/emancipati...-of-minor-law/

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