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Biddycent · Jan 21, 2011, 01:35 PM

I am a 16 year old girl and for a long time I have been getting these strong sexual urges. I have masturbated before and it helped some but not a lot, but I am afraid that now that I have a boyfriend and he makes the problem a lot worse... lol that he is going to try sex and I might give in.PLEASE HELP!

Wondergirl · Jan 21, 2011, 01:36 PM

Don't ever be alone with your boyfriend.

Jake2008 · Jan 21, 2011, 02:02 PM

Control yourself- you're not an animal in the wild during mating season.

Get on the pill.

Channel that energy into getting A's in school.

ramona_ · Jan 21, 2011, 02:09 PM

If you want to have sex with your boyfriend then have sex with him, just make sure you take the right precautions. If you feel as if he's pressuring you into it then don't do it. How long have you been with him? I waited three months before I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend.

Biddycent · Jan 21, 2011, 02:12 PM

Thank u for your answer and to answer your question we have been going out for about 6 months.

Biddycent · Jan 21, 2011, 02:17 PM

Lol... you your right and I am on the pill, but I just wanted to hopefully wait until I was 18 just in case, but thank you and I will take your advise and try channel my energy into getting A's in school... even though I already have A's.

justcurious55 · Jan 21, 2011, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by ramona_

if you want to have sex with your boyfriend then have sex with him, just make sure you take the right precautions. if you feel as if hes pressuring you into it then dont do it. how long have you been with him? i waited three months before i lost my virginity to my first boyfriend.

She's 16! She may not even be of the age of consent where she is. I don't think telling a 16 year to have sex with her boyfriend is appropriate when she comes looking for advice and worried she will give in. to me that shows she is not really ready for sex.

ramona_ · Jan 21, 2011, 04:00 PM

On most of the continents the age of consent ranges between 14-18. If like me she lives in britain, the age of consent is 16 but many teens are having sex under that age. I don't think we we should steer them away, but embrace and teach them.

ramona_ · Jan 21, 2011, 04:06 PM

Biddycent, do you know the age of consent in your country/state/county? If its over 16 then id advise waiting and carrying on with masturbation or just doing things with your partner (not intercourse). If you feel as if he's forcing you into it, then don't give in. if you feel you're ready to have sex with your boyfriend then its your decision. In my opinion and many other peoples, teen sex should be embraced and not "shunned" (depending on where you live). In britain the teen pregnancy rate and sti rate are, I think, the highest in europe because for so long people have disregarded it because it was seen as a disgrace but if you feel you're ready and you're with the "right" person and the feeling is mutual and you take it slow, I think you should go for it, taking extra precautions. Also, why don't you ask your mum this question? If you want to know what to do nobody could give better advise then your mum!

justcurious55 · Jan 21, 2011, 04:08 PM

Comment on justcurious55's post
On most of the continents the age of consent ranges between 14-18. If like me she lives in britain, the age of consent is 16 but many teens are having sex under that age. I don't think we we should steer them away, but embrace and teach them.

Yeah, between 14-18. She's 16. There's plenty of places where that is below the age of consent. Maybe things are different in Britain, but here in the states there are way too many teens having sex long before they are ready and they can't face the can't handle the consequences afterwards. So no, I don't think we should be embracing them. I don't think a 16 year old should be encouraged to have sex just because she's horny. And again, she came here because she said she was worried about giving in. that means she's not ready. Teaching is one thing, telling someone to have sex is another.

ramona_ · Jan 21, 2011, 04:16 PM

yeah, between 14-18. She's 16. There's plenty of places where that is below the age of consent. Maybe things are different in Britain, but here in the states there are way too many teens having sex long before they are ready and they can't face the can't handle the consequences afterwards. So no, I don't think we should be embracing them. I don't think a 16 year old should be encouraged to have sex just because she's horny. And again, she came here because she said she was worried about giving in. that means she's not ready. Teaching is one thing, telling someone to have sex is another.

I didn't tell her to do anything, I was just making it clear that its her decision, I also stated that if she felt like her boyfriend was pressuring her into it then she shouldn't go forward with it for his sake and to make him happy. Yes, you're right, there are too many teens that aren't ready but there are a few that feel they know when the time is right, they know when the best time for them is and they know how to deal with the consequences if something goes wrong (ie. Method of contraception fails). I still think that she should talk to her mum about this, her mum will then at least be aware of her daughters activities and if something was to go wrong theyd have already talked through it together.

my_love_j · Jan 21, 2011, 04:20 PM

Well I'm about the same age and had the same problem I understand that its hard to get rid of the urges sometimes but I'm afraid to say sex doesn't help much either it kind of makes it worst so I would have to say keep doing what your doing and don't give in to anyone because in the end you will find it worth it to wait

Biddycent · Jan 23, 2011, 05:01 AM

I think that I should have worded that another way, but as the situation goes I do understand about the whole situation of sex and it isn't that I am not ready if the time comes for me when I want to do that it is just I wanted to wait until after high school. I know that it is my choice and I fully understand the consequences that could follow, but I think what I need to know is how do I control the urges and how do I push them aside.

Wondergirl · Jan 23, 2011, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by Biddycent

how do i control the urges and how do i push them aside.

You sublimate, meaning you find something constructive to do, especially something far afield such as playing a game with your little brother, baking a batch of brownies, working on that term paper due next Tuesday. Also, when you're with a boy, you avoid parking in dark places, being alone with him too often, allowing any clothing to be pushed aside or removed, and then get busy with something constructive. Any further questions?

Biddycent · Jan 23, 2011, 01:31 PM

That basically answered it, but I was wondering how do you make the urges go away. People have told me to masturbate and I have tried it and I still do it, but lately it is becoming harder to push or get rid of the urges and that is why I think that I might give into sex at some point.I also have tried what you suggested before and it actually controlled it for a little bit, but it doesn't matter what I do the urges always come back. Is there something wrong with me?

ramona_ · Jan 23, 2011, 01:53 PM

There's absolutely nothing wrong, all teenagers/young adults feel this way at some point. Id say continue masturbating and doing as wondergirl said, when the time comes after high school and you're ready, and it's the right time, it'll feel amazing because you've waited.

Alty · Jan 23, 2011, 01:58 PM

There's nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. We all go through this. Sadly the human body seems to long for sex long before it's ready for the consequences.

Sex isn't the answer. I remember being your age, and I honestly thought that I could do what I wanted and not suffer any consequences. In my little rose colored world only other girls got pregnancy, got an STD, etc. etc. In my graduating class alone (and this was in the late 80's) 4 of my friends were pregnant at graduation. All of them used protection, one of them was on the pill and used a condom, both used correctly, and she still became pregnant.

Some facts. No form of birth control is 100% effective. There are people on this site that used 3 different forms of birth control at the same time and got pregnant the first time they had sex. It happens all the time. Just read some of the threads in the teen forum and pregnancy forum. If we had a dime for every young teen (13-18) that comes here asking for help because she's pregnant, we'd be rich.

I can tell you one thing, there's nothing like a screaming baby to kill the mood. Every time you get horny, picture yourself living in a crappy apartment, no money for the basic necessities, a screaming colicky baby in a dirty diaper that you're responsible for 24/7 for the rest of your life. If that doesn't make you wait, I don't know what will.

the_lil_helper · Dec 15, 2011, 06:57 PM

Just go with your instincts. Don't let them control you. You control them. Don't give in if he pressures you because, depending on the kind of guy he is, he will tell people and you will be known as easy.

Hope all goes well. Sorry about your... uh.. urge.

the_lil_helper

Ninja... · Dec 26, 2011, 06:58 PM

Im a 14 year old virgin... don't worry about having sex just fill you time with activities! That's what I' ve been doing... but I have masturbated. Just if you feel horny just go out in the living room and sit with your family but don't get alone because that increases the possibles of you making a mistake. You really want to wait for marriage so you and your real soul-mate can have the best experience!!

Onicah · Jan 23, 2012, 01:13 AM

Have sex with the guy but in that roud of enduarence u will have to think of your futute... There is Aids out there.. lf you sleep with him now what will stop You from having Sex with another one to come... dont make a mistake.Virginity Comes Once.. Jus saying