I caught my boyfriend sexting some chick and am very confused on how sexting works. There were explicit things said, like "i really liked doing _____" and "did you like it when I ____"
It made it sound like it really happened. He says that it was just a fantasy thing and that nothing ever physically happened (even though the sexting had happened before)
He is realizing how messed up this was and is begging for my forgiveness and saying that it will never happen again.
Couple things:
A: Is this how sexting goes? You pick a fantasy like it really happened and go from there? Even though it never actally happened.
B: Should I believe him when he says nothing happened physically?
C: Should I really believe this won't happen again?
Also a little background on us:
We've been together 1 1/2 years and have already had other trust issues because he is a musician and around women a lot.
I'm feeling so incredibly hurt, disgusted and taken for granted.
Please help!

Well honestly I would say that he would have kept doing it if it weren't for the fact that you caught it. Never really believe it won't happen again cause it might. The fact that you caught him and him not telling you might say something. But I don't know that is my opinion. But you can't really be sure, if my boyfriend did that I would want him to call that girl and ask her but in a normal conversation and she can't know that you are there with him.If he doesn't want to then he isn't willing to get back your trust or at least try to.

Your trust is completely broken, and this is not the first time. You found out on your own, meaning he was hiding it. Sorry you don't just text people sexual things like that when you're in a relationship. Even if he says it's "fantasy" and nothing happened (which I don't believe by the way), he hid it from you.

You don't trust him... you feel betrayed and disrespected and this is not the first time. End it. You can't trust him and this is becoming a repetitive issue with him.

I would'nt believe him.
If he is in a relationship with you he shouldn't be texting other girls in such a manner.

He's broken your trust and I would seriously consider ending it.

Would not believe him, he is only sorry he got caught, if he was sorry he did it, he would not have been doing it

Thank you all so much for your honest replies.
This is all so very hard and I can't believe that it happened.
He keeps telling me that he loves me and how sorry he is and how he wants us to work out.
He says that this all happened because he was scared of feeling love for me.
Out of respect of this wonderful site, I won't use all the swear words that I really, really want to use, but just by saying that, I'm sure you know exactly which ones they are.
You're all right. If he were really sorry for what he did, he wouldn't have done it in the first place. He can only be sorry that he got caught.
What hurts the most is the lead-up TO the actual sexting. How they met, exchanged phone numbers, got to know each other a little better, and THEN came up with this understanding of it being OK to sext each other. It's not just the sexting. It's the entire process of getting there... with no thoughts of me or our relationship at all within the entire process and THEN going through with it... multiple times.
Something in me believes every word he says but another, STRONG, part in me knows that I deserve MUCH MUCH MUCH better (especially at my age - 32 - I've already been through all these stupid, hurtfull problems). He's a younger man and, I believe, at the stage of WANTING a grown up relationship but not willing to DO the growing up part.
Again, thank you all so so much. I don't know you, but you've got a special place in this little broken heart of mine.
It's so, so sad. Here comes single again. Uffda... :(

I would say that you should trust your instincts. If you don't think that he's sincere about his apology, then this relationship is going to end sooner or later anyway.

You'll be just fine of your own.

And for the record, it sounds like he cheated, real life sex. (I don't think "love talk in the past tense" could mean anything else but.)

Guys REALLY in love, don't exchange phone numbers, much less naughty messages, with other girls.

I wish you luck in finding a real man.

Southamerica finds this helpful : I am thinking 'real-life' is probable. But sexting or sexing... it's still cheating!

Indeed it is.

Hurt,you 'll be fine,take it one day at the time and make sure you have friends and family around you and that you do things you enjoy.

See this as a lucky escape,know that there are plenty more fish in the sea and come back and vent whenever you need to.
<cyberhug>

Hey,
I don't want to give you an answer which you might not like and I might be wrong but I think he was just fooling around I mean we all do stupid stuff on the net doesn't mean its real and texting is sort of the same. He probably doesn't even know the girl and he's just joking around and having some fun, and the telling you part well what's he suppose to say oh hey babe I was just sexting for fun and wanted to let you know? AWKWARD. People no matter how much you would like to not believe it, he will look at other girls and he will flirt with other girls regardless of the fact he's in a relationship but the fact he's not leaving you for them says something. I think you should forgive him and reconsider. Your making too big a deal of it.