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    ffrazer's Avatar
    ffrazer Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 1, 2008, 01:47 PM
    How can I get my girlfriend to trust me again after so many lies.
    Hello friends, I have a problem and I have been seeking help from everywhere, and everyone, things in my relationship hasn't been looking to good for me. I lied to my girlfriend about things that are insignificant, things that if I tell the truth it won't be a problem, but I still lie about it. Right now thank god I still have a relationship, my girl wants me to stop all the lies and I understand that it hurts her a lot. I realize that if I keep lying pretty soon my girl will leave me, and I don't want that. At this time thank god I still have a relationship with her, we don't live together so that means I don't see her everyday. The last time we saw each other was like a week ago, I miss her so much. She suggested that I seek help about my problem, and I was more than willing to do so. I never want to loose her and farther more I want to change and be better for myself. I told her that I was getting counseling, she said great, however she don't think we should see each other, in other words we are together but together apart so we can get closer. She said she don't want to be around me because she don't want herself to be a distraction for me. I agree, so all we do is talk on the phone for a few minutes every once in a while. So my question is that, lets say everything work out fine and she see a change in me, things are back together as normally, how do I gain her trust back, how do I get her to trust me again like when we first started the relationship. That is something I would real like to know so I can practice it, she is not an easy person to deal with so that means I have to work very hard. Tell me the steps I need to take.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    May 1, 2008, 02:20 PM
    Put your money where your mouth is and go get counselling and prove it to her. Some people are compulsive liars and never change. If I were her I would have great difficulty ever trusting your word again and it would be the absolute end; who needs the stress like that in a relationship.
    COOKIE MONSTER's Avatar
    COOKIE MONSTER Posts: 589, Reputation: 56
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    #3

    May 1, 2008, 02:22 PM
    Hun you can't make somebody trust you,trust grows between 2 people and if that trust is broken,its very hard to get the same amount of trust back.but with time it could grow again
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    May 1, 2008, 11:33 PM
    Stop lying, and tell the truth, until she believes it. It may be a day, or a decade, its up to her. Have you learned a lesson from all of this?
    thegreatestviz's Avatar
    thegreatestviz Posts: 70, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    May 1, 2008, 11:45 PM
    Lies... lies and more lies... this will do nothing except degrading your relationship... take it this way.you are on the top the worlds tallest buliding which you and your g/f have made it with care and love and trust...
    With every lie that building is getting weaker
    Eventually it will break down and so will your relation.. so if you don't want your relation to break better keep that bulding standing with its contents safe and secure... in laymans words the more you lie the worse the scene gets
    Stop lying and show her you are changing into a better person and you can have her
    All de best
    Viz
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #6

    May 2, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Your relationship is like a garden. You will only reap the crop of what you sow, and it will take a long time to reap it fully.

    So far you have sown seeds of lies and are reaping the crop of distrust. For all you know, you have tainted the soil permanently. Only more time will reveal if that is true or not.

    Meanwhile, you start over. I promise that the things you plant now WILL bear fruit, it just a matter of finding out if the fruit is free from the poisonous past. It may not be.

    But you try anyway. There is no shortcut here AT ALL. You will have to do the work and tend this garden for a very long time if you wish to find yourself in a healthy place with her again. Do the work.

    I won't tell you not lie anymore or treat her badly or anything. I will simply say that you will reap what you sow. So choose. Then do the work.
    turtlegirl16's Avatar
    turtlegirl16 Posts: 177, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 2, 2008, 02:23 PM
    If you lied to her, you don't deserve her. Lying is the worst thing to do to the girl you love you jerk!!
    jarebdude's Avatar
    jarebdude Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jul 3, 2011, 07:01 PM
    turtlegirl16. People and love are imperfect. Lying happens. Too bad. If one really loves someone (like these two apparently do)they will be with each other and love each other no matter what life brings them trough. If you expect someone to be perfect in a relationship then you will NEVER have a good one. EVER. Love is made to deal with a lot of problems, these problems are what strengthen a relationship once they are dealt with. Just do exactly what you said you are going to do my friend. Get help and do your absolute best to stop the lying. I mean it can't be stopped 100% of the time, but when you do lie own up to it before she finds out the hard way. Ask for forgiveness.

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