My boyfriend and I have been on and off for about four years. For two of those four years, he tried to make it work with the mother of his children... When it didn't work out, he decided he wanted to be with me again. I kind of took him back into my life. Since then, some strange things have happned. He went to Charlotte 2 months ago by himself - not believable. He claimed he was visiting one of his old co-workers. I do believe he met up with his old co-worker (man) and someone else (woman). He was also supposed to get a paternity test done for a possible 8 year old child he may've conceived. A woman whom is currently married with 3 children claims he may be the father of one of them AND she still has feelings for him!! He said she disappeared upon his arrival... he's going with a cousin in two months and claims he's going to make the attempt to get tested again. I advised him to set it up in advance that way all he has to do is get the test done without having to see her or her daughter. He's clueless. Anyway, he's been talking about getting a place together and I really don't know if I can trust him. There's always something or someone he's making an excuse for. I'm starting to think he's using me, but I can't decipher what his reason would be behind it.

It doesn't sound like he is otherwise why would he want to move in with you? He does sound like he rush into things though, so I'd just slow it down and get to trust him. You seem like a nice person so if you think he's ot doing what he told you he was, just ask him about it. Just dig a little into what he's saying without being noise.

Yes,he's using you and he is indeed clueless-he has no idea how to treat people with respect-don't fall for his tricks-time to leave him to his excuses.

He's treating you like this because he can - you appear not to be taking a stand.

Why does anybody do anything? The only way to know is to ask him.

And if you don't trust him, whether he's telling the truth is pretty much immaterial.

Is he married to these other women?

Yes, people can change. Yes, they can become a "better version" of themselves. Yes, they can get out of the "Maury Povich Lifestyle" they have accrued. But it is rare.

It sounds like this guy has kids all over the country... and has more than he realizes! Yes, he can change. But he won't change "FOR" you. He has to change for himself.

If you think you can change him, you're wrong. Look at his track record. He has kids all over the place, doesn't know if this woman is the mother of his kid, travels to get paternity tests and doesn't get them done, and all of that junk. Is that the kind of man that you want to be the father of YOUR kids?

BTW: does he pay child support for any of those kids? If not, he's neglecting his parental duties. Is that the kind of man you want?

He's using you. Whatever for (a place to live, physical fulfillment, emotional connection, whatever), he is using you.

You don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. Relationships should be founded and based upon trust. Period. If you don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them.

I believe that this is the main problem between the both of you. You simply, do not trust him. He goes to do something you assume he is with someone else, he tell you something and you assume that he is not speaking the truth. Why live like this? Let him do his own stuff, he seems to have a lot of issue to work out on his own, and your trust issues will not stop because of the two years that he left you. It seems to have created a scar and you are not wanting to let the past go. Well at least have a happy future, find a guy who is going to have time to focus on you instead of having to run around finding out how many kids he has. Without trust, there is no relationship, and if there is one, it is an unhealthy one.

Good Luck,
Javi